I toyed with the idea of going in at noon on Thursday for the express class so that I could do the WOD before going to the track at 5:30 for Endurance. But the WOD had a strong stench of deja vu on it. It started with an air squat sandwich that included 100 reps as each slice of bread with 50 push jerks serving as the lunch meat center. Then after 5 minutes of rest (5 minutes...that can't be good), there was a 500 meter row, a 400 meter run, and 30 calories on the assault bike. Where had I done a ton of air squats along with rowing and some work on the assault bike? Oh yeah, at the gym on Sunday during that painful tabata workout. If I did the WOD at noon, there was no way my legs would be recovered in time for Endurance. So I skipped the WOD and focused solely on Endurance instead.
An even dozen athletes showed up in the hot sun for Endurance later in the afternoon. It was so hot during the day that I made the rare decision to wear my man tank (mank?) to class. It's the mank I got for the Festivus Games earlier this year. I also made sure to lather myself in sunblock as Jenn would not be pleased if I returned home lobster red. Apparently Coach Tim was concerned about my fair complexion as well because when he saw me before the workout, he mentioned that I was going to need SPF 130 today.
Of the 12 people taking part in the track workout, there were four sickos (King, Laura A, Matt E, and Joe M) who had done the workout earlier in the day. Tim explained that for those of us who hadn't done the WOD, we'd still be getting our fill of air squats. Oh no!!! I told Laura that I had a bad feeling that I knew what the workout was going to be. A couple of years ago, we did a very painful workout just two days prior to the gym's annual King and Queen competition. We didn't even need to do it to know it was painful. Tim had told us what it was and we all began lobbying to scale down the workout. The girls were allowed to scale the reps, but the guys had to do the whole thing. (Sexist!) The workout was a mile run. At the end of each lap, you had to do 50 air squats. Trust me, after running a quarter mile, you don't want to do 50 air squats. And after doing 50 air squats, you really do not want to go run again.
When our stretches were done, Tim confirmed that we were indeed doing that workout. For those that had already done 200 air squats earlier in the day, they were allowed to substitute 150 single unders at the end of each lap instead. That didn't sound like much of a bargain speed-wise (originally I thought this might take longer than the 50 air squats), but it was almost certainly going to be easier on the legs. Tim indicated that the point of the workout was to try and stay consistent with your running splits for each of the four laps. Not to spoil what happens next, but I would have needed to run much, much slower on that first lap to have had any chance of complying with Tim's directions. (Although technically, I guess you could say I ran a consistent pace on the final three laps. I followed directions for 75% of the workout. Better than usual!)
I knew most of the people in class, but there was one person there that I did not know. Flounder referred to her as "Sandbagger" because she apparently had that Jill C/Alex R quality of trailing right behind you for a significant part of the run before blazing on past you at the end. She would later introduce herself to me as Joy. I didn't know how fast Joy ran, but on the first lap of this workout I discovered her pre-squat pace was similar to mine. I switched roles with her a little bit as I ran a few steps behind her all the way around the track (but didn't pass her at the end). Tim read off our times as we made our first pit stop on to the grass to crank out 50 air squats. First lap: 1:29.
That was a little more aggressive than I would have liked. I wasn't breathing heavy or anything, but I knew I wasn't going to be able to run anywhere near 1:29 on the remaining three laps. I did the first 25 air squats consecutively before pausing to shake out my legs. Laura and King had been the first ones to complete lap #1 and they were back out for their second lap as I approached 40 air squats. With about 5 reps to go, Joy took off. I kept my position as the fourth person on the track, but there were a group of people who were right behind me as I began my much slower second 400 meter journey. Joe and Matt C passed me on that lap while Matt E ended up right behind me when I came back in for more air squats.
I'm sure I was a little slower on the second round of air squats than I was during the first round, but my pace hadn't fallen off nearly as bad as it had on the run. I was doing my squats alongside of Joy and when she finished her set, I had 10 remaining. Laura and King were long gone, having done a good job of maintaining their speed on both the runs and the single unders. Joy would have Joe on her heels for lap #3, with Matt C a little bit behind them. Matt E headed off for his third lap right before I did. I wanted to pick up the pace and pass either of the Matts, but I couldn't extend my stride no matter how hard I tried. My hammies felt like giant knots in the back of my legs. It was all I could do to stay reasonably close to the Matts. After the third round of air squats, the order of the conga line hadn't changed much, although I was now only 9 air squats behind Joy (progress?).
On the final run, I tried again to push, but my body didn't comply. Joy and Joe definitely picked up the pace on the last run. Laura and King were actually working on their last set of single unders when I took off for the fourth run, so they had basically lapped me. After keeping up on the third run, the Matts slowly edged further away from me on lap #4. The only thing I had going for me is that I've gotten better at pushing through the pain of air squats. During that last set of 50, I only took two very quick breaks to shake out my legs. When I was done, I waved to Tim to let him know I had finished. Final time: 16:09.
My running might be slow, but I always get depth on my squats
I was hoping that would be it for the day, that Tim would say "jog two laps for a cool down" and that would wrap up class. But Tim loves his sprints and he wanted us to get some speed work in before letting us go. He wanted us to do three sprints, each 50 meters long. They were actually very similar to the striders that Tim's wife, Laura, had us do when she covered the two weeks that Tim couldn't coach Endurance. We would start 150 meters away from the finish line, jog 50 meters, sprint 50 meters, then jog the last 50 meters to the finish line.
Tim didn't want all of us going at the same time, so he decided to split us up into two groups. I don't remember why there were only 5 people in group 1 (I think Jen S may have sat out because she wasn't feeling well), but that's what ended up happening. Tim chose King, Laura, Joy, and Matt C without much hesitation, but wasn't sure who the fifth person should be. Flounder kept yelling "Nichols" over and over again because he's such a good friend. Tim finally gave in and said "okay, Dave", causing Flounder to start laughing in triumph. I may have called Flounder an asshole at this point. In the nicest way possible, of course.
The 50 meter sprint isn't the problem for me during these striders as much as the jogs are. When I jog, it's very slow. So when Tim sent us on our way for the first strider, I was lagging behind the other four when we hit the numbers at the 100 meter mark. I was in the middle of the group of 5 and once I could sprint, I was able to burst through the center of the group, hitting the end of the sprint right alongside of Laura and ahead of everyone else. Then they all passed me on the jog to the finish line. My legs were sore as hell, but I could suck it up for a 6 second sprint. On the second strider, I was even further behind the group on the initial jog, but it was too much for me to overcome on the sprint. When all of us returned to the starting line for one last strider, Tim had us go as one group, although it seemed like all the group 1 folks were standing directly in front of the group 2 folks. The competitive spirit in me wanted to have a chance to replicate what happened during the first strider. That meant I needed to run faster on the initial jog. This time, when we hit the beginning of the sprint, I wasn't far off of the leading group. But I wasn't the only one getting super-competitive during this final sprint. Joy was on my right and didn't seem keen on letting me by. Laura was on my left and wasn't going to let me win the final sprint without a fight. I had to push as hard as I could, but I edged past Joy and then Laura, getting to the end of the sprint first. I even jogged faster for the 50 meters after the sprint. With that complete, we did a 200 meter cool down and some stretching to wrap up class.
Now that I had proven what an over-competitive jerk I could be, I was ready to head over to KOP to work on my handstand skills. I saw Melissa heading to her car as I pulled into the parking lot. She had been the one to mention to me that the handstand group was getting together after the WOD on Thursday, so it seemed like a bad sign that she was leaving. She confirmed that the group was pushing practice off until another day, but she sent me the program that they were following. I decided to go into the gym and go through the day 1 exercises. The longest part was doing 10 handstand holds. I did them like I had been practicing, with 10 seconds of holding with my left leg off the wall followed by 10 seconds of holding with my right leg off the wall. At first, I wasn't sure I could do 10 of these. Running around in the heat had exhausted me a bit, to the point that I didn't consider whether or not it was a good idea to spend time upside-down afterwards. (Spoiler: It was not a good idea.) After two handstand holds, I took some time to rest and hydrate before proceeding further. I did a couple more handstand holds before everyone began congregating outside. Across the street, there was a car now parked in the lobby of a business. Rumor had it that the older gentleman who was behind the wheel had his car knocked into the building by another driver who had not stuck around for the aftermath of the accident. Everyone seemed to be okay, but the front of that building is going to need some major patching up.
As the commotion from the accident began to calm down, I took care of the remainder of my handstand holds. Open Strength was almost over at this point, so I got in the 30 hand-release push-ups I was supposed to do before grabbing my bag and heading home. When I got home, I did the rest of the day 1 work, which included 20 tuck-ups and 40 superman pulses. Gotta get that core tight if I'm gonna be walking on my hands!
Tuesday preview: An out of town wedding causes me to miss four days at the gym, but I return to Dudes After Dark for a battle with Grace and the heat.
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