From Really Smart To Really Dumb

Workout date: 8/19/15

I've been dreading writing this blog post.  And maybe it will be nothing.  But tonight I experienced my first injury scare since I've been doing Crossfit.  I've had plenty of bumps and bruises, spilled lots of blood, even had a sore shoulder and a sore knee from time to time.  Those have caused me to take the occasional day off.  I've been extremely lucky over the course of the past two and a half years to have had nothing worse than that.  We'll see how today's scare plays out.

Tonight I went to open strength to do my 6x6 back squat routine with 235 pounds and things seemed to be going well.  At least things went well once I got to the gym.  Traffic on 202 was a nightmare and as a result it took about a half-hour to get to the gym.  I had planned on doing clean pulls and back squats before taking on today's WOD, but the delay forced me to push off the clean pulls until another day.

Open strength was in the annex and it was a nice change going into a cooler, less-packed space to work out.  The regular strength crew tends to leave the lights off in the annex, working with the sunlight that pours through the windows and the door.  It makes the room considerably cooler than the main gym, something a sweaty guy like me can appreciate.

While Leslie, Christine, Jim and Jess C went about their business, I set up my rack for back squats.  I did my usual warmup with 135 and 185 pounds, but since each of my sets were going to be 6 reps today, I did 6 reps for my warmup sets as well.  I had no trouble with either of those sets.  Once I got to 235, I became more deliberate with my reps, but I was still moving fluidly.  In fact, after my third set, I turned to Leslie and asked if she saw anything wrong with my form.  She couldn't come up with anything.  I wasn't rocking in my feet at all.  Things were good.

Until my 4th set.  The first three reps were fine and I thought this set was going to be similar to the first three.  However, when I reached the bottom of my 4th rep, I felt some tightness in my lower back.  I stood up with the barbell and even finished my last two reps.  But I could tell something was wrong.  I decided to take a few extra minutes before attempting my 5th set.  In the meantime, I did some light stretching.  When I felt ready to test my back, I walked over to the barbell and pulled it off the rack.  It didn't feel wonderful.  I began to lower in my squat and felt a twinge.  It wasn't extremely painful, but I knew to bail the weight at that moment.

I was pretty certain my day was over at that point, but I decided to take another few minutes stretching out before throwing in the towel.  My next set of squats would be of the air variety.  As I did a couple, the twinge was still there.  If it hurt with 0 pounds on my back, adding 235 pounds was pure folly.  So for once, I tried to do the smart thing and went no further.  I also went online and canceled my sign-in for the 6:30 class.  I'd rather sit out a day or two than be stubborn and miss several weeks at the gym.

I went over to the main gym to let Doctor Coach Sommelier Giulz know that I wouldn't be able to do the 6:30 class with her.  It was a bummer because it had wall balls, toes-to-bar, hand release push-ups, and bar muscle-ups.  It was one of those workouts that I thought I might be good at, but had I attempted it, I probably would have found out that I sucked at it.  Oh well.  Giulz asked me about how I was feeling and recommended that I get a box to help me relieve the pressure off my lower back.  She explained how I should lay to alleviate the pain.  I went over, grabbed a box, and laid on top of it with my knees up in the air like a dog waiting for someone to rub his belly.  It didn't seem like the pain in my back was being relieved laying in this position.  Quite the opposite really.  After a minute or so of laying like this, Giulz asked me what the hell I was doing while trying not to laugh.  Apparently I was supposed to be laying on the ground with my legs up on top of the box.  No wonder people skeptically ask about my alma mater.

My biggest concern tonight has been that I will wake up with a very stiff back tomorrow morning and not be able to move around.  That would be awful.  I've been doing a variety of things to try and keep that from happening.  How I feel in the morning will help me decide if I want to work out over the next few days.  Hopefully the recent onslaught of blog posts will keep my loyal readers satisfied in case I need to recover for a while.

Keep your fingers crossed that I feel better tomorrow!  If I'm up to it, perhaps there will be rope climbs, farmer carries, and rowing in store for me.

225 Pounds Smells...Clean?

Workout date: 8/18/15

There are three major milestones I've wanted to surpass at the gym this year.  I'll list them out in ascending order of importance to me:

• Deadlifting 400 lbs - As I mentioned in a recent post concerning sumo deadlifts, I've never been the biggest fan of deadlifts, but it is annoying that I've remained at 385 lbs for so long.
• Back squatting 300 lbs - I have made progress towards this one, successfully getting 295 lbs, but failing at 305 lbs.  At the end of the back squat program I am currently doing, I am supposed to be able to handle 310 lbs.  We'll check back in on this in late September.
• Clean and jerking 225 lbs - Two big plates!  I would love to put two 45 lb plates on the barbell and be able to clean and jerk it.  I've been stuck at 215 lbs for a while.  I have jerked 230 lbs, but feel confident that I can do more than that.  Squat cleaning 225 lbs has been the problem.  Very much a "close, but no cigar" situation.

Tonight I once again had the opportunity to get the clean and jerk milestone as we were doing at least 7 lifts to find a 1RM.  And the focus was all about getting 225.  It really wasn't until we started loading up the barbell for our first lifts that I put much thought into my progression to 225.  This workout would be about the destination, not the journey.

That being said, you do have to put some thought into these things, not just throw 225 lbs on the barbell right off the bat and swing for the fences.  115 lbs felt right for my opening lift, so I decided to start there and make jumps of 20 lbs for the most part.

Planned lifts: 115-135-155-175-195-215-225

Can't say there was too much to talk about on the early lifts, other than I wanted to keep the bar close to my body (recent advice from Jim C) and I wanted to be patient before beginning my pull.  At Brawl in the Burbs on Saturday, my hang snatch form fell apart at the end due to the fact that I was not patient at all before beginning my pull.  One of our coaches, Marisa, also participated and I saw video online of her best lifts.  It was basically the complete opposite of what I had done.   Her arms were not bending at all until the barbell met her hips.  Only then did she pull the bar up while simultaneously pulling her body under the bar.  I knew this is what I should have been doing, but in the rush of the competition, I did not.

Well here I was on a Tuesday evening, no clock ticking down, no teammates depending on me to come up with a good lift.  If I couldn't remain patient and calm in this setting, it was never happening.  So on those initial lifts where the weight was not going to be overwhelming, I made sure my form was good.  And I think that was true for the most part.  I am probably not keeping the barbell as close to my body as I think I am, but it's closer than it has been.  Keeping it even closer will take some practice.  My patience was definitely good though, as I could feel the bar hit my upper thigh each time before I pulled.

Despite the weight getting heavier, the lifts at 115, 135, 155, and 175 were all pretty similar.  I was able to power clean each with what I would describe as good form.  And then I didn't need a huge jerk to get them over my head.  For the remaining lifts, it was going to be trickier.  At 195, I should have started squat cleaning, but I'm stubborn, so I did a power clean with a bit of a partial squat.  It was during this lift that I had to get much more serious about the jerk.  My jerk form could have been off during the first four lifts and I would have still been able to push press them over my head.  That was not a good plan at 195.  So I took an extra second or two after the clean to make sure my setup was how I wanted it before jerking the weight overhead.

The lift at 215 was a disaster.  Maybe I was already thinking ahead to 225.  There was an intro class going on and I hope none of them were watching this lift.  It started with me once again refusing to squat clean.  Instead I went with the ugliest power clean you ever will see.  Rather than squat, I did the starfish, with my back hyperextending.  It counted as a clean, but it took some readjustment of my body to get ready to do the jerk.  And since I was busy chastising myself about my poor form in the clean, I was not focused on what I needed to do in the jerk.  When I went to do the split jerk, I got the bar overhead, but I was wobbling around like crazy.  I got it under control and then dropped the bar, but I was disappointed with everything I did during that lift.

As I said at the beginning, today was about the destination not the journey, and I had arrived at the destination.  I slapped two 5 lb plates on the barbell and made it 225.  I took a few minutes to get ready, then stepped up to the barbell.  I thought about everything I wanted to do: keep the barbell close, be patient before pulling, drop into a squat under the barbell.  I set up my grip and prepared to defeat my foe.  My form wasn't that bad and I got under the barbell, but I couldn't hold on to it.  225 wins again.

The funny thing was that I knew it was my best ever attempt at cleaning 225, so I wasn't terribly upset about not getting that first try.  After a couple of minutes, I set up to try again.  And just like the first attempt, I was under it, but couldn't keep it under control.  I was a little less pleased after the second attempt as I knew I didn't have all day to get this done.  I took a smaller break before going to make my 3rd attempt.  As I prepared to lift, I felt my hands slide, so I stopped and went to chalk up before proceeding.  I came back to the bar, went through my routine, and tried to clean the bar.  For the third straight time, I was underneath it.  But this time, I had control!

Ok, ok, it wasn't much control, but if I could stand up, I'd be only a jerk away from reaching one of my milestones.  The struggle probably lasted only a few seconds, but it felt like slow motion.  I pressed upward while trying not to lose control of the bar.  As I got near the top, I had to take a step forward, but I had it.  After dozens and dozens of tries, I had finally gotten a squat clean at 225.  I was pumped!  

Perhaps a little too pumped.  I tried to calm my breathing and my emotions so I could do the jerk at 225.  I also didn't want to stand there forever holding this much weight in my front rack.  When I felt comfortable, I went for the jerk and...failed.  Come on, it's me!  Nothing ever goes right the first time for me.  I had a suspicion while I was holding the bar that I might mess up the jerk, so it wasn't terribly disappointing to me.

After a few minutes, I tried to re-create the magic again, but my 4th attempt was similar to the first two.  It was alright though.  Breaking through the mental barrier of squat cleaning 225 was huge for me and makes me feel that it is only a matter of time before the clean and jerk happens.  Where can I improve?  Well Matt B was in class with me and he has the same issue I do: neither of us want to squat clean before it is 100% necessary.  Instead we do power cleans at light weights and power cleans with that crappy starfish stance at heavier weights.  It would be much more beneficial to do squat cleans somewhere in the middle of the progression so that it's not a complete shock to the system at the heaviest weights.  I also need more work on keeping the barbell close to me.  Coach Steph noted that the barbell was not staying as close as it could when I was making my attempts at 225.

The cash-out was weighted push-ups.  I worked with Cline and we went through this pretty quickly.  We were supposed to make 5 attempts, but after finding success with 45, 70, and 90 pounds on my back, I wasn't sure I could do more.  Then again, saying you could do a push-up with 100 pounds on your back sounds infinitely cooler in my mind than saying you can do one with 90 pounds, so I made a 4th attempt.  That didn't feel much different from the attempt with 90 pounds, so I ended up making a 5th attempt with 110 pounds.  Certainly felt the difference on that one!  As I tried to push-up from the ground, it wasn't looking good.  My momentum was stalling out.  But I managed to get a little bit of drive and soon I was pressing out my arms.  No more attempts for me, as I was more than happy with 110 pounds.

The highlight of the day though was the squat clean at 225.  Not sure I can remember the last time I walked out of the gym as happy as I was tonight.  Still had a smile on my face a couple hours after it happened.

Wednesday preview: Time to attempt 6x6 at 235 for the back squat program.  Think of it as the midway point of the program.  Also plan on practicing clean pulls.  Unsure of whether I'll try to tackle the WOD.

Killing Keithie

Workout date: 8/17/15

Two days later.  That's always when a hard workout hits me.  Having gone through 5 workouts on Saturday, I didn't have grand expectations for the Monday WOD.  Those expectations were lowered even further when I saw it was...

Helen - Test Day
3 rounds:
400 meter run
21 KB swings (53/35)
12 pull-ups

I vaguely remember doing this three months ago.  From what I recall, I fell way behind everybody, gave up on the pull-ups during the second round, went to ring rows, and still took a ridiculous amount of time to finish.  But that was before I became "mildly proficient" with pull-ups.  (Wait, I just looked up what "mildly proficient" means.  I think what I meant to say was "able to do more than 1 per minute".  Yeah, that feels more accurate.)

Making matters worse was the fact that today's weather was sweltering.  This was not the day I wanted to be breathing in thick warm air.  As I sat before class putting on my hand grips, I felt less than motivated.  I was kinda feeling sluggish as it was and there was certainly some unpleasantness awaiting me during this workout.  But this was one of those benchmark workouts that I've never been able to do because I couldn't handle 36 pull-ups and I wanted to finish it RX for the first time.  So I prepared myself for the suck.

Little did I know I would get a confidence booster prior to doing Helen.  The class participated in a game of Musical Med Balls.  Did I at one point use my big ass to knock Rachel over in a desperate attempt to remain in the game?  Yes.  Yes I did.  But from that point on, the class knew I meant business and it became a foregone conclusion that I would win.  Or I was the one person in the final 3 who paid attention to the music while doing high knees to the other end of the gym, allowing me to sprint back to the last med ball first.  One of the two.

It was nice finishing first in something because I was about to finish last in something.  And that something was the WOD.  I got to relive the end of the Championship WOD on Saturday as a large group stood around helping me finish the workout.  I'm not sure if we have photographic evidence of these good-hearted people yawning while I tried to complete my pull-ups, but it's a safe bet that a few folks were ready for a nap while watching me try to kip.  Let's rewind to the start of the workout.

3-2-1 go and I was not moving fast on the run.  Could I have run faster?  Sure.  But I suspected that this workout was going to be a struggle and didn't want to burn out early on.  I was happy to cantor along at the back of the pack as we came in to do our first set of KB swings.  I thought about trying to string all 21, but again, my main concern was having enough energy to get through the pull-ups.  I did 16 reps, placed the KB down, then did my final 5 reps.  Time to take on the pull-up bar!

And it did not go well.  I thought at the very beginning I could put together a couple of sets of 2-3 reps.  Maybe get back out the door pretty quickly for round 2.  Instead, I was out of sorts right off the bat.  I tried to do fast singles, but even that wasn't happening.  Damn you, lack of cardio!  I made my way through the 12 pull-ups, but I was already kipping wildly instead of flicking.  The game plan was out the window as I'm fairly certain that my brain had suffocated in the heat.

I was one of the last people out the door to begin round 2 and I was not about to catch anyone.  My second run was probably a little slower than my first run, which normally wouldn't be too bad.  Except I hadn't set any land speed records during my first quarter-mile.  As I headed back towards the gym, I saw Josh M on his third run.  Then I saw Rachel.  Then Michal.  I was definitely about to get lapped by a bunch of people.

For the KB swings, I managed to do 14 reps, then 7 reps.  My breathing was getting worse and worse.  At the pull-up bar, I attempted fast singles again, but reaching my hands up to the bar felt awful.  In the middle of that set, I got through 3 or 4 reps fairly quick, but then needed a break again.  As I finished my 12th rep, I saw several people who were done with the WOD.  And I was the last one headed out for round 3.

Josh agreed to run with me and pushed me along on my last 400 meter journey.  He also tried to get me to take my sweat-soaked shirt off as it had become the equivalent of a weight vest, but that wasn't happening.  I got back to my KB huffing and puffing as Josh had made me push it on the last part of the run.  When I was ready, I managed 12 reps before setting the KB down.  I needed to sit in a squat to get my breath back.  Keithie came over and told me to stand up.  I was not pleased.  He urged me again and I angrily told him that I could stand up, but not with the KB.  That was a compromise he was okay with.  I walked in a small circle, trying to get my breath, before doing the last 9 KB swings.  Later, Keithie would say that it sounded like I wanted to kill him at that point.  Now I can't swear that there were no homicidal thoughts at that moment, but that's the nature of these workouts.  Coaches yell at the athletes.  Every now and then, the athletes yell back at the coaches.  It's all in the heat of the moment.  After the workout is over, there aren't any problems.

To get to that point though, I needed to finish 12 more pull-ups.  And everyone else was done.  Great.  I wanted to be done with this quickly, but Michal reminded me to remain calm so that I would do the pull-ups efficiently.  It was a helpful reminder.  As I got to reps 9 and 10, I could feel my sweaty hands starting to slip on the bar.  Sure enough, when I went to do the 11th rep, my hands slipped completely, nearly resulting in a fall to the floor.  I grabbed the paper towel I had put near my bar before the workout and wiped off the bar as well as my hands.  When I reached up to attempt pull-up #11 again, my grip felt secure and I had no problems doing the rep.  I reached up one more time, did one last kip, and got my chin over the bar for the 12th pull-up.  Final time: 18:36.

That's a pretty terrible Helen time.  And I was not pleased to be the last one finishing the workout again.  That gets old very quickly.  But I did manage to finish this workout RX for the first time and I was happy about that.

I stuck around for strength to do my 6x2 back squat at 235 pounds.  On Wednesday, I will be taking on 6x6 at 235 pounds, which will be a major test for me.  From that point forward, the 6x2 sessions at 235 will alternate with sessions of less sets and less reps at higher weights.  I also did some shoulder press work as I thought it might help me with my handstand push-up progression, but it didn't go so well.  I wrapped things up with 3 reps of shoulder press at 125 pounds and put the barbell away.  I spent the rest of my time at the gym rolling out, something I need to be doing more of.

Tuesday preview: 1RM clean and jerk.  Can I finally get 225?  Probably not, but you should at least come back and read how I attempted it 20 times and came super duper close.

The Soviet Invasion

Workout date: 8/15/15

I thought about doing some light cardio work on Friday, but it never came to fruition.  I may have been a little hungover from my Thursday night pity party, plus I had to drive all the way home from Saratoga.  I had also told Doctor Coach Sommelier Giulz that I would help out with the scoring for Saturday's Brawl in the Burbs, so I needed some time to go over the website we were using, making sure all of the bugs had been worked out.  There probably wasn't much point in getting a light workout in anyway, other than to make me feel like I hadn't been a lazy bum the entire week leading up to the competition.

This year's Souka team had one substitution.  Mr. Intensity had a shoulder injury when we were signing up for Brawl in the Burbs 2, so Mark C filled in for him this year.  The team was also rocking some serious Soviet apparel for the competition, as seen below:

Nice photo bomb, American flag!

This year's competition had 23 scaled teams along with 16 RX teams.  4 of those scaled teams were from KOP:

• The Soukas: Alison, Diane, Mark, and myself
• DFL: Rachel, Michal, Matt B, and Jimmy
• 2 bars, 2 snatches: Pam, Dana, Jon P, and another gentleman whose name I did not catch (sorry!)
• Team KOP: Shawna, Miranda, Luis, and Craig from Crossfit Advance

I didn't get to root on the other teams as much as I would have liked to due to my scoring responsibilities, but it was awesome seeing so many of the folks that I work out with regularly taking part in this competition.

Last year, the goal was to make the podium.  This year, we were winging it.  All of my teammates were dealing with their own health issues.  As the only completely healthy one on the team, I joked that at some point during the competition my leg would snap in two.  Thankfully this did not happen. My will to work out was snapped in two during the last workout, but we'll save that for later on in the post.

The first workout was finding a 2RM hang snatch.  We had 15 minutes to complete our lifts.  We were part of the first heat and we might have been a little too jazzed up to get going as Mark and I flew through our opening lifts at 95 and 115.  Mark then did 125, but I wanted to jump 20 pounds again.  Since we were sharing weights with the girls, I suggested we throw the 45 lb plates on, as Mark's next lift would be 135 as well.  This would leave more plates available for them to use.  Transitioning plates back and forth would become much more difficult as we got further along in this workout.

Mark and I had discussed what we thought we could get in this workout and I told him that when I practiced I got to 145.  He told me he didn't think he could get that high.  My teammate is a liar!  After we were both successful at 135, I messed up my lift at 145.  It was a grip issue more than anything, so I came back to it and nailed 145.  Mark then stepped up and took care of 145.  However, he felt that was as high as he could go, so I got the rest of the time remaining.  I put 155 on the bar and had a successful first rep, but my grip was weakening again as I tried to hold on for the second rep.  I popped the bar up over my head, but only barely.  As I tried to press the lift out, I started careening forward.  There wasn't a lot of room in each lane, so I didn't need to go far to creep up on the team in the next lane.  I looked down to see the line indicating the end of my lane and threw on the brakes.  Luckily, I managed to get control of the bar at that moment, successfully finishing the lift at 155.

After that, I tried 165 a couple of times, but my form was all off.  I then gave 160 one try, and while that weight didn't feel "heavy", I was tired out from all the lifts I had attempted.  155 was my final score, with Mark adding 145 to round out an even 300 pounds for the male component of our team.  Meanwhile, Alison and Diane were crushing it, putting up a couple of the higher female lifts in the scaled division with scores of 115 and 110, respectively.

A pretty happy Souka squad after Event #1

When the smoke cleared, we were tied for 7th place after the first event, along with our friends from DFL.  However, we didn't have much time to enjoy our performance.  We had made the decision to try and do the floater WOD (the tire flip) as soon as possible so that we would have time to recover for the final two events which would be more taxing than the snatch event was.  15 minutes and a wardrobe change later, the four of us would take on a 1,300 lb tire.

At last year's Brawl, we managed to sneak into the Championship WOD because we killed it on the tire flip.  Diane insists that we flipped the tire 41 times in 5 minutes last year, but I think that's crazy talk.  I told her it might have been 31, but I can't imagine how we could have flipped that thing 41 times in 5 minutes.  I was hoping that this year's performance would bring her around to my way of thinking, but I'm not sure I was successful.

Diane was working with a hand injury, so we kept her to the outside of the tire.  Alison would stay in the middle throughout the workout, while Mark and I would alternate between being on the inside and the outside depending on what side of the tire we were on.  Alison would yell out our cadence just like she did last year.  Despite the planning we did, once the tire event begins, it turns into chaos. As you are hurrying to go from one side to the other, you inevitably crush your teammates.  As you get tired, you get the tire up, but then forget to push hard enough to flip it over.  These things happen. I thought we fought really hard for the entirety of the 5 minutes, but I admit that I lost track of our score somewhere in the middle of the event.  When time was called, we were informed that we flipped the tire 33 times.  I'm telling you, Diane, there is no way we flipped it 41 times last year!

Alison loves the tire flip.  I am slightly less enamored.

Our 33 flips were good enough to give us a tie for first place in the floater WOD.  Uh oh, could we be headed back for another appearance in the championship WOD?

With about an hour and 15 minutes until the next workout, it was time for me to put on my work hat. Josh M had been doing an awesome job collecting and organizing the scoresheets so that I could enter the scores online as quickly as possible when I was not working out.  Some time was necessary to divide up the scaled and RX teams.  And more time was needed to add up the individual snatch weights to come up with a team score for the participants.  But most of the snatch event was entered online before I had to go get ready for the next WOD, Pistol Whipped.

The name of the next workout (Pistol Whipped) was a little misleading because only the RX teams would be doing pistols.  That sucked.  I could have been a real asset to my team if we were doing pistols.  It was one of those rare movements that I randomly happen to be good at.  Instead we were doing air squats, which everyone can do.  And a large percentage of that everyone can do them better than me.  The workout was 8 minutes long, with teams of 2 switching exercises every 2 minutes.  One teammate in each couple worked at a time.  Here's what we needed to do:

Me and Diane: KB swings, air squats, burpees, air squats

Mark and Alison: air squats, single unders, air squats, jumping pull-ups

Diane in the zone prior to Pistol Whipped.  Me being awkward yet again.

Since all reps counted the same, it seemed obvious that the key to the workout was the single under section, as that would be the highest score of all the movements.  Originally, Alison and I were going to work together, but when we discovered Alison was a single under machine, we switched her to be partners with Mark.  I was a little concerned about the KB swings, but I knew Diane was good at those, so she could carry us there and then I could make it up on air squats and burpees.  The KB swings weren't as bad as expected, but Diane definitely did more than me.  The big surprise was how well I was able to do the air squats.  Our judge informed us that he was going to be strict about proper depth in the bottom of the squat and fully opening our hips at the top of the squat.  I let him know in advance that depth on the way down would not be a problem.  But when you do air squats fast, you tend not to open your hips at the top.  As I did my air squats, I basically exaggerated the opening at the top.  After a while, my feet were coming off the ground as I hit the top of the squat.  I tried to do bigger and bigger sets as I went along because I wasn't feeling as tired as I expected I would be.  That carried through into the burpees.  I was energetically getting through sets of 5 before switching off with Diane.

Doing burpees so fast that I've gone blurry

With the burpees completed, we just needed to get through 2 more minutes of air squats.  I tried to keep up the pace from the first round of air squats.  With 25 seconds remaining, it was my turn to go again.  I intended on going until time ran out.  Except that was a long 25 seconds!  I heard 10 seconds remaining and moved as fast as I could.  My judge got on me about opening my hip as the countdown from 3 began.  I got two last reps in and sat down.  Oh man, my legs were burning.  Thankfully, there was 90 minutes until our last WOD.  But our chances of having to do a 5th WOD just increased big time.  In the workout we thought we would struggle in the most, we finished 9th.  KOP's 2 bars 2 snatches took home 3rd in Pistol Whipped, although initially I messed up inputting their score (sorry Dana!).

I made my way back into the lobby and finished up the scores from the snatch event.  I started receiving some of the tire flip scores and had to organize those, but I managed to input about half of those.  And as the other heats of Pistol Whipped ended, I added those scores to the website.  I was close to catching up on everything when Giulz came in and said "you have 10 minutes until Team DT, go warm up!"

Team DT was 10 rounds of 12 deadlifts, 9 hang power cleans, and 6 push jerks.  Each teammate would do 5 rounds, alternating back and forth.  The men had one bar (115 pounds) and the women had another bar (75 pounds).  The men's time and the women's time would be added together for your final score in the event.  There was a 12 minute time cap.  I had practiced Team DT with Alison and Diane and knew that they would do well in this event.  Alison might even like Team DT more than the tire flip.  Tough call there.  My only concern was not letting down Mark.  My legs were still on fire from Pistol Whipped and I knew how hard this workout was once you were sapped of energy.  In practice, I had tried to keep up with Alison and that silly attempt left me struggling badly when I got to my final round.  I also had not done partial squats during the hang power cleans, wasting grip strength in a highly grip-intensive workout.

I started for the guys while Alison started for the ladies.  Alison is ridiculous with her deadlift speed, but I focused on going at my own pace.  To save grip strength, the plan for each round was to use a reverse grip for 11 deadlifts, drop the bar, then use a regular grip to get through the rest of the movements.  I had learned from practice that the extra time spent to re-grip didn't matter much in the long run because losing your grip strength altogether was a much worse fate.  I did my 11 deadlifts, dropped the bar, took a second to re-grip, then went into my hang power cleans after deadlifting the bar to my waist.  I tried to do these slower than I had in practice, but I was conscious of partial squatting to save that grip strength.  I finished the hang cleans, knocked out my push jerks, and passed the bar off to Mark.  Only 4 rounds to go.

Mark moved through his round at a good clip and then it was my turn again.  I went through the same routine, but I could feel how little my legs were contributing.  This was going to be problematic quickly.  Still, I managed to hold on to the bar throughout the second round, aside from the re-grip.  Same deal with my third round as well.

When I got to my 4th round, I knew I needed to break up the hang cleans.  It was a matter of how much I needed to break them up.  If I was doing two sets, I wanted the second set to be small enough that I didn't have to worry about putting the bar down during the push jerks.  After 4 reps, my grip was weakening, but I needed more because that would have left me 5 reps to do on the other side along with the 6 push jerks.  I knocked out a 5th rep, but I told myself to hang on and get one more.  It burned, but I got that 6th rep, leaving only 3 hang power cleans to go along with the 6 push jerks.  That was manageable.  I took care of those 9 reps and passed the bar back to Mark.  One round to go. When it was my turn again, I copied the previous round.  My grip was struggling, but I held on through 6 hang cleans before dropping.  The 3 hang clean/6 push jerk combo was something I could handle, and I gratefully placed down the bar for Mark knowing I was done.  I didn't want to squat on the ground while he finished his final set, but my legs were jello.  The girls had finished almost a full round before us and they came over to cheer on Mark as well.  Mark fought hard and finished things up, getting us under the time cap.  We ended up 5th in this workout.

I spent a little bit of time cheering on DFL during Team DT (Alison is crazy fast on the deadlifts, but no one does faster hang power cleans than Rachel) before heading back to the desk to input the rest of the scores.  I wrapped up the Pistol Whipped scores along with the remaining tire flip scores.  As the heats for Team DT were completed, I put those scores in as well so that we could see who would be competing in the Championship WOD for the scaled and RX divisions.  Last year, the Soukas needed a late comeback to capture 5th place and make it to the Championship WOD.  This year?  In a 3-way tie for 3rd.  Time for one more WOD.

Let's be honest: none of us were all that psyched about having to do a 5th WOD.  But as Alison said to me right before we started, "if we're gonna do it, we might as well kill it."  Fair enough.  The championship WOD was as follows:

50 burpee box jumps (24"/20")

50 dumbbell thrusters (45/25)

50 hanging knee raises

50 hand release push-ups

Each team would have two pairs doing the workout.  The second pair could only progress once the first pair had moved on from a station.  Mark and Diane would start out for us while Alison and I would follow them.  I had some serious concerns about the first half of this workout, having no leg strength left at this point, but I was going to lay it out there like Alison had said to.  I also learned I could do lateral jumps for the burpee box jumps, which was nice because I could do them faster that way.  Maybe this would turn out okay.

After Mark and Diane had completed their 50 burpee box jumps, I got started for the our pairing.  And I felt good.  I was moving fast through my sets of 5 burpee box jumps before letting Alison go.  But the pain set in at the end of my 4th series of 5 burpee box jumps.  With my legs beginning to tire, jumping laterally wasn't safe.  I did my final set of 5 facing the box and at a much slower pace.  As Alison took care of our last 5 burpee box jumps, I trudged over to the dumbbells.  And that's where it really got bad.

I picked up the dumbbells and managed 3 reps.  That would turn out to be a large set for me.  Later on I somehow got 4 reps in for one set, but Alison would need to carry us through this section.  I couldn't even bring myself to pick up the dumbbells quickly after getting to rest.  I was toast.  Mark and Diane were already finishing up their hand release push-ups.  The second couple for other teams were nearing the finish.  I was dragging us way behind.

Slowly we got through those and moved on to the hanging knee raises.  At least the leg portion was over.  I grabbed the bar with my sweaty hands and tried to put together a big set of knee raises before losing my grip.  I think I got 10 in my first set, but this part of the festivities is a little hazy to me to be honest.  I don't think we were on the bar all that long before moving on to the last part of the workout: hand release push-ups.

I was happy that the finish line was near.  I was not happy that all of the other teams had come over to encourage me through the end.  Technically they were encouraging both Alison and me, but Alison was still powering through and didn't need any encouragement while I just wanted to be done with it all.  I did 10 push-ups before Alison went.  From there we traded back and forth.  After Alison got us to 37 reps, I started going again.  

Nothing screams "athletic mediocrity!" like causing the audience to yawn

When I did our 41st push-up, our judge, Miranda, said "you're done".  I did a 42nd rep and again heard "you're done".  When the 43rd rep was followed by "you're done", I finally stopped.  Did I black out for 10 reps?  How were we at 50 already?  I looked over at Alison, who was trying to figure out what was going on.  Alison and I laid in front of the crowd for a few seconds before Miranda said "oh, you still have seven more".  Alison was not pleased, but knocked out the last seven reps, mercifully ending the workout.

I wish I could have gotten my shit together for that last workout, but it didn't happen.  I dropped our team to 5th place, knocking us out of a possible return trip to the podium.  But I got to share 5 workouts with three awesome teammates.

Four exhausted Soukas after the Championship WOD

The day wrapped up with inputting the Championship WOD scores, announcing the winners, dealing with an angry team that seemed to just assume they had won, and some drinking in the lobby.  Oh, and I finally got to eat!  That's always good.

Glad I got to be part of Team Souka once again.  To steal a line from Clark Griswold, the Soukas are "the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse."

That's all for Brawl in the Burbs 2.  Back to normal gym life on Monday.

Watching $100,000 Disappear In 10 Minutes

"Ummm...I thought this blog was going to be dedicated to your athletic mediocrity?  It's not called Sweaty Souka's 2015 Gambling Addiction.  Keep your horse racing stuff on Twitter, like you said you would."

Truth is, I had every intention of keeping things that way.  But the events that unfolded at the recently concluded Battle of Saratoga were story-worthy.  And to tell that story in 140 character blurbs would have taken approximately 17,000 tweets.  So I'm breaking my promise to keep this blog restricted to Crossfit-related events only.  Just this one time.  If it makes you feel better, this blog post will be the answer to the question "Dave, why weren't you at the gym most of this week?"

Some background, followed by some helpful descriptions.  Saratoga is the oldest thoroughbred track in the United States.  Most horseplayers consider it the best track in the country.  It is only open 6 weeks per year, from mid-July to Labor Day.  Having grown up about 30 miles away, I was exposed to Saratoga very early in my childhood.  When I was 9, I started reading the programs and making "educated guesses" about the horses I would ask my parents to play for me.  In my teens, my parents got tired of making bets for me, so they put $20 in a Phonebet account.  I would call with my clearly going through puberty voice and the Phonebet operators would accept the bets without question.  I would make the money in the Phonebet account last for a long time.  When I was 16, I started reading books on handicapping and got better at the game.  I made money on the races during my high school years.  As I've gotten older, I've expanded the range of tracks I am willing to bet on as well as the types of bets I make.  I have good years and bad years.

Helpful horse racing terms:

• Win - to win this bet, your horse must finish 1st.
• Place - to win this bet, your horse must finish 1st or 2nd.  This typically pays less money than win bets.
• Show - to win this bet, your horse must finish 1st, 2nd, or 3rd.  This typically pays less money than win or place bets.
• Scratches - when a horse entered in the race is no longer running in the race, the horse is scratched.
• NHC - National Handicapping Championship.  Held every January in Las Vegas.  This is the most prestigious handicapping tournament in the US.  You can qualify by winning a seat in a preliminary tournament or by finishing in the top 150 in points on the NHC Tour.  Everyone plays races from 7 different tracks across the country for two days.  The top 50 players move on to Day 3, where the field eventually gets whittled down to a final table of 10 before a champion gets crowned.  First place at the NHC was $800,000 in 2015.
• NHC Tour - to participate at the NHC, you need to be a member of the NHC Tour.  There is a $50 membership fee at the beginning of the year.  If you finish in the top 10% of entries in a tournament, you receive NHC tour points.  If you do not win a seat to the NHC in a preliminary tournament during the year, you can still get into the NHC if you have enough tour points to be in the top 150 of the yearlong standings.  Your top 6 performances count in the standings, although no more than 5 of those tournaments can be online tournaments.  Whoever wins the NHC Tour plays for an extra $2,000,000 at the NHC.  No one has come close to pulling off that double yet.
• Online tournaments - generally held every weekend.  Typical format includes 12 races where you make a mythical $2 win and $2 place bet each race.  So you get mythical money if your horse finishes in the top two spots in a race.  Whoever has the most mythical money at the end of the tournament is the winner.  Most of these tournaments offer 2-4 NHC seats.
• Live tournaments - these are held at race tracks across the country.  Frequency varies by location.  These tournaments may be similar to online tournaments or they can be live money tournaments.  In that format, you are betting real money on the races.  Highest bankroll at the end wins.  You get to keep your bankroll at the end.  Often, you can make bets other than win, place, or show.  You may also lose your entire bankroll in these tournaments, so it's not necessarily for the faint of heart.  Some live tournaments are multi-day tournaments.
• BCBC - Breeders Cup Betting Challenge.  The most prestigious live money handicapping tournament in the country.  It is also a multi-day tournament.

Two years ago was the first time that I learned there were handicapping tournaments.  This was definitely of interest to me.  I started playing online tournaments.  In my second one, I earned a trip to the NHC.  This was easy!  (yeah right)  Last year, I qualified for the NHC as well.  It did not go well either time.  I've also played in the live tournaments at the NY race tracks, as well as a special tournament in Baltimore last year.  These are all multi-day tournaments like the NHC.  One pattern has emerged: I am atrocious on Day 1, then fall short with my comeback run on Day 2.  Despite my failures, I've grown comfortable competing against the best handicappers in the country.

What is my greatest inspiration at these contests?  Happy Gilmore.  

Maybe it's goofy, but I always thought it would be cool to win one of those.  And there would be no better place to do it than Saratoga.

Because Saratoga is the premier track in the country, the fee for entering that handicapping contest ($1,000) is larger than many others.  That doesn't stop all of the best handicappers from showing up though.  Last year, the tournament had over 220 entries.  I had my usual crummy Day 1, then hit a lot of horses late to finish 24th.  They were nice enough to pay out the top 30 players, so I got my entry fee back, but Tour points were only given to the top 23 players.  I was the bubble boy.  It is very difficult to get Tour points in live tournaments, so missing out by 1 spot was painful.  Especially since I was near the top 150 in points and did not have an NHC seat locked up at that point last year.

Fast forward to Wednesday as I sat down to compete in this year's contest.  My goal: have a productive Day 1.  I couldn't afford to spot good handicappers a large lead in a contest like this.  There were exactly  260 entries this year, meaning the top 26 players would receive Tour points.  They also decided to only pay out the top 10% of players in the contest, so those same 26 people would be the only ones bringing home money as well.

A Day 1 good luck note from my buddy's daughters

The format of the contest is slightly more cutthroat than an online contest.  There were 20 races from three tracks (Saratoga, Del Mar, Delaware/Arlington).  You made 10 bets, nine $2 bets and one $4 double bet.  However, unlike an online tournament where you automatically get win and place bets, you had to choose whether you were betting to win, to place, or to show.  At least five of your 10 bets had to be made on races at the host track (Saratoga).

Part of the problem with the Saratoga contest is that they hold it on Wednesday and Thursday.  The place is too busy on the weekends to host a handicapping contest, so they hold it mid-week.  Unfortunately, that also means playing mid-week races which tend to have smaller fields.  That translates into less value generally.  And if it rains, then horses are more likely to be scratched, leaving even smaller fields.  We had the misfortune of a large thunderstorm traveling up the East Coast on Tuesday, leaving wet conditions at Saratoga and Delaware.  Value would be very hard to find!

I placed my first win bet on Saratoga's second race on a 6-1 horse named Sun and Moon.  She seemed to be a horse that preferred a wet track and she was decent value for a six-horse field.  As they turned into the stretch, Sun and Moon loomed on the outside and took the lead.  She got a little weary in deep stretch, staggering towards the finish line like a drunk girl leaving a frat party, but she won the race.  I was off to a good start!  But so were a lot of other people.  The leaderboard shows the top 50 in the standings and at least 50 people played Sun and Moon to win.  Finding value was tough enough as it was.  Finding value where no one else in the room saw it was going to be near impossible.

After a failed bet on a longshot with my next bet, I played a horse called Foxhall Drive in Saratoga's 6th race to win at 5-1.  He seemed like the only speed in the race, but another horse unexpectedly made him work all the way around the track.  At the top of the stretch, Foxhall Drive put that horse away, but the race favorite came charging.  They battled down the length of the stretch, but in the end, Foxhall Drive missed by a neck having been softened up by the other pacesetter.  In an online tournament, that would have been a solid bet.  But in this format, close seconds were simply heartbreakers.

As I searched for my next bet, I looked at the TV screen showing the next race at Delaware.  It was supposed to be a grass race, but the rain had forced the race on to the dirt.  It also forced a bunch of scratches, leaving only 5 horses in the race.  I used to ignore races with 6 or less horses in them because it was rare to find value in a race like that, but the odds in this race shocked me.  Two of the horses were taking all of the money.  The slight favorite had run the fastest races, but all at sprint distances and she had shown a tendency to get tired late in those races.  She was going a quarter-mile further in this race than she had ever run before.  That seemed shaky.  The second favorite had run once and it was a good performance, but then she stopped racing for 16 months.  There was no guarantee she would run well either.  Among the other three horses, there was one that stood out to me.  Her name was Gansett.  She hadn't run all that fast in her earlier races, but they were all a mile or longer and they were all on grass.  She would be able to handle the distance and it seemed worthwhile at 13-1 to find out whether she could run on dirt.  I went and placed my bet.  As the horses reached the far turn, the favorite began to fade, while Gansett moved up on the inside of the second favorite.  16 months away from the races left the second favorite without the stamina to keep running in the stretch as Gansett pulled away to win by 5 lengths.  The room was eerily quiet.  That was a good sign.

After the race became official, the standings were updated.  Only one other guy in the field of 260 contestants had played Gansett.  I was now in 2nd place!

If only they stopped the tournament at this point...

The rest of the day was a grind as favorite after favorite came in.  In Del Mar's second race, I had a horse open up a clear lead in the stretch, only to see a deep closer come and snatch victory away at the last moment.  Finished second in Del Mar's third race as well.  I held on to my double bet hoping to get a good price in the final race at Saratoga, but my horse's odds dropped, then she ran a disappointing third anyway.  At the end of Day 1, I was in 10th place overall.  The scores were very bunched, so it wasn't going to take much to shake up the leaderboard, but for the first time ever, I had put myself into a good position with Day 2 on the horizon.

The prizes for the contest were announced before the start of Day 2.  Here are the important ones:

1st - $100,000 + NHC seat + BCBC seat

2nd - $35,000 + NHC seat + BCBC seat

3rd - $25,000 + NHC seat

That was some serious cash, not to mention possible entries into the most important tournaments of the year.  If ever there was a day where I needed to come through with my handicapping, this was it.  As I prepared for Day 2 on Wednesday night, I turned to the 3rd race at Del Mar.  This would be the final race of the contest and with the standings as tight as they were, I knew I would need to hit this race to possibly win the contest.  I spent extra time analyzing it.  My hope was that the horse I liked would be a price and that I could hold on to my double bet until the final race, possibly vaulting me over the competition and securing me a giant cardboard check.  That horse's name would be Sutton's Smile.  We'll get to her.

When you only have 10 bets over the course of 20 races, you have to root for the favorite to win in the races you are not playing as those horses will only move up your opponents a tiny amount.  In fact, most tournament players won't even play horses unless they are something like 5-1 or higher.  Early on Day 2, I was in a holding pattern.  The early races didn't look that appetizing to me.  But I still had to root home the favorites in those races.  And for the most part that happened.  The largest price early on was a 7-1 horse who nipped a 12-1 shot at the wire.  There were a lot of players on that 12-1 shot, so I was lucky that he didn't get there.  Eventually I did have to start firing away though and my early choices left a lot to be desired.  Not only was I not winning, but my horses were well out of the races.  Meanwhile, I was dropping on the leaderboard.  Halfway through Day 2, I was down to 28th.  The gap from 1st to 28th wasn't all that large, but only 26 people were getting paid and getting Tour points, so I needed to get going.

As Del Mar got ready for their first race, I placed a win bet on a horse named Alyeska.  She had run once, breaking poorly and finding herself in last before getting her act together in the stretch, eventually finishing third.  4-1 wasn't the most exciting price, but I had 6 bets left and this seemed as good of a place as any to take a stab.  She broke much better, laying in third until making her move in the stretch again.  It took her a while to get to the horse on the lead, but she eventually got there, passing her rival to give me a much needed win.  I was back up to 15th place, only $17 out of third place, about $35 from the overall lead.  I still had 4 more regular bets and my double bet to go.  The giant cardboard check was still in sight.

I played a 5-1 shot named Harpoon, who made a big closing move in a race at Saratoga, but couldn't manage better than 2nd.  Then I played a 7-1 horse named Loon River who lost all her momentum while rallying around the far turn, before re-accelerating.  She was rolling like a freight train in the stretch, gobbling up ground on the leader.  But she ran out of time, losing by less than a length to the winner.  Winning those races would have been extremely helpful, but there were still opportunities remaining.

With 3 races left, I had 2 regular bets and my double bet.  I didn't connect on either of my regular bets, setting the stage for the last race.  I was $46 behind 1st place, $27 behind 2nd place, and $24 behind 3rd place.  I had dropped down to 24th place.  As I sat in my chair, looking over the racing form one last time, I made sure that I wanted Sutton's Smile.  She was the perfect value bet for me.  She had run once, but did not run all that well in a dirt sprint.  That meant she was unlikely to have low odds in today's longer turf race.  But her pedigree leaned more towards turf and her trainer had excellent statistics moving horses from the dirt to the turf.  She was my horse.

Right before I went to bet, a gentleman I met earlier in the day came over with a bucket of beer and left it for me and the guys at our table.  I was certainly in need of a drink.  I looked at the odds and saw Sutton's Smile sitting at 14-1.  With my double bet, that meant I would win $56-$60 if she won, enough to overtake the leader.  It also meant that of the 23 players in front of me, I would pass 22 of them unless they made the same exact double bet as me.  How many of those 22 players still had their  double bet left?  And if they did, were they betting Sutton's Smile?  And were they betting him to win?  Chances were slim of 1 other player meeting all those criteria (for reference, the leader said after the contest that his last 5 bets were all place bets as he decided to go conservative) much less multiple players.  Despite being in 24th place, I was actually in really good position with 1 race to go.  I went to place my bet with 7 minutes to go before the race.

When I got back to my seat, I saw the odds on Sutton's Smile had dropped to 13-1.  In order to be mathematically alive to win the contest, I needed 10-1 or higher on Sutton's Smile.  Still felt comfortable.  Cracked open my beer and tried to relax.  Pretended that winning $100,000 wouldn't be that big of a deal.  With 3 minutes to go before the race, the odds on Sutton's Smile were now 12-1.  That wasn't so great.  Could we run this race right now please?

I got out of my seat and moved over to the large monitors, where a crowd had gathered to watch the final race.  Dozens of people were in the same position as me, mathematically alive for the $100,000.  Everything hinged on the final race.  I found a place next to a pole and slid down next to it to watch the race from the floor.

At long last, the horses were being loaded into the gate.  As the first couple horses entered the gate, Sutton's Smile's odds changed once again.  They did not go down to 11-1.  Instead, they went right down to 10-1.  This was a nightmare.  Please start the race already!  Sutton's Smile was on the far outside and would be loaded last.  Her odds still showed as 10-1 on the screen as they closed the gate behind her.  It was time to determine the Battle of Saratoga champion...

...or not.  The #2 horse, Balboa Tradition, freaked as the other horses patiently waited for the gate to open.  She got so spooked, that she flipped over in the gate.  Because seeing a horse upside down in the gate can be upsetting to viewers, Del Mar changed the video to one of the infield while the situation was being resolved.  They got Balboa Tradition right side up, but there was no way she could run after something like that.  As the jockeys dismounted the other horses and those horses were backed out of the starting gate, the track announcer let patrons know that Balboa Tradition had been scratched.  With her scratch, the odds were adjusted on the remaining horses.  Sutton's Smile was now 9-1.  The dream was over even though the race hadn't even gone off.  There would be no giant cardboard check for me.

I felt angry.  I felt nauseous.  More than anything, I felt cursed.  This was finally my shot and a horse flips over in the gate to end it?  Some guys were running to the windows as their last bet was on the scratched horse.  Would they switch to Sutton's Smile now by default?  Would they share in my pick because their shitty horse lost her cool?  I felt cheated.  Part of me wanted to leave and not watch the race at all.  I sipped on my beer and tried to regroup mentally.  I could always change my pick to a horse with higher odds, but that was a mistake I used to make when I first started playing tournaments.  If I thought Sutton's Smile was the horse, I was wasting my pick throwing it on some longshot I didn't really think could win.  And besides, just because first place was gone, it wasn't like getting second or third would be chump change.  $25-35k would be the most I'd ever won in a tournament, plus a top three finish would get me into the NHC, possibly the BCBC as well.

As I watched the odds on Sutton's Smile change to 8-1, I stood up to watch the race from the other side of the room.  The horses were finally being reloaded into the gate.  There was still hope.  And they were off!  And it was bad...

When most people watch a horse race, they are generally just concerned with the end of the race.  Where is my horse when they get to the final stretch?  When I watch a race, I tend to know what chance my horse has of winning before the race is halfway over.  And the start of this race left me throwing my hands in the air.  Starting on the far outside, there is always the concern that your horse will get hung out wide on the turns, losing precious ground.  Sutton's Smile wanted to be near the front, but so did a lot of the horses inside of her.  Instead of pulling her back a bit and ducking behind the speedy inside horse, my jockey let Sutton's Smile go 6 wide into the first turn.  Once again, I was ready to leave.

On the backstretch, Sutton's Smile was still 4 wide, sitting in 5th place, a couple paths outside of the race favorite.  I kept waiting for her to fade due to her wide trip, but she kept plugging along.  As they got to the far turn, she was still 3 wide, now alongside the race favorite.  And then something happened that gave me chills.  (I do not get chills often)  Sutton's Smile kicked it into another gear.  She made a big move on the turn, going from 5th all the way up into the lead as they entered the stretch.  I began yelling for my horse with another well-known tournament player yelling beside me.  I didn't hear any other yelling which meant a lot of people had not bet my horse.  And I knew I was ahead of the guy next to me in the standings.  Could this be happening?  Was my dream scenario really going to play out?

As Sutton's Smile grabbed a lead of about a length and a half at the top of the stretch, the race favorite moved outside of the fading pacesetter and began to close.  We were still yelling for Sutton's Smile, but her lead was shrinking.  At the sixteenth pole (the last marker before the finish line), the two horses were side-by-side, but the race was over.  The wide trip had taken it's toll.  The only way Sutton's Smile was winning was if the other horse lost her jockey.  The race favorite's momentum brought her to victory and all the emotions that had run through me a few minutes ago were back.  I walked back to my seat and finished my beer as I waited for the race results to be made official.

With the final race in the books, all that was left to do was find out where I finished in the standings.  If there wasn't a giant horse hoof-shaped mark on my nether regions after all that had happened in the previous 10 minutes, there was about to be one.  The last race moved three players past me, dropping me to 27th place, a measly 70 cents behind the last player getting paid.  For the second straight year, I would be the Battle of Saratoga bubble boy, only this time I wasn't getting back my entry fee as a consolation prize.  Saratoga is truly my favorite place in the world, but I wanted to be a million miles away from there at that moment.

I spent Thursday night at my friend's house.  His daughters put together a pizza party that helped cheer me up, as did the several beers I shared with him.  On one hand, this was the most soul-crushing gambling experience of my life.  Those last 10 minutes were pure torture.  On the other hand, I put myself into position to win one of the most prestigious handicapping tournaments out there.  I can't be disappointed about that.  It simply wasn't my turn to win the giant cardboard check.

Never Have I Ever

Workout date: 8/11/15

With a scheduled trip to Saratoga on the horizon, Tuesday was going to be the last day that I could work out before Saturday's Brawl in the Burbs team competition.  At first glance, the scheduled metcon seemed like something I might be really good at:

Tuesday WOD:
10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1
Push Press (95/65)
Hang Squat Clean (95/65)
Followed by an 800 meter run

Why was I under the misguided notion that I might complete this workout quickly?  Ya know, other than the fact that I tend to frequently overestimate my abilities when thinking about upcoming workouts?  Well, 95 pounds was light for me as far as doing push presses goes.  And 95 pounds was the weight we used for Badger, the hero WOD we've done a few times earlier this year that includes 3 rounds of 30 squat cleans.  This workout required 55 squat cleans rather than 90 squat cleans, so it seemed manageable in my mind.  I knew in advance that the run would be difficult, but that was the last part of the workout and I thought I could push through to the end.  (I wonder if I'll be any wiser regarding my abilities by the time we reach the end of the year.  Doubtful, I'm guessing.)

As I walked into the gym, I knew I was in trouble.  I got to class about 10 minutes early and watched the end of the 5:30 class.  Everyone was sweating much more than they normally do.  Some people had even reached Dave levels of sweatiness.  How in the world was I going to survive this workout?  Just watching other people sweat this much was making me sweat.  I suddenly was regretting not having a third shirt in my gym bag.

Before we got started, we needed to warmup.  Coach Steph decided to use the warmup as an opportunity to find out more about the personal lives of her all-male class (Alison joined us later on). We would run around the gym in a circle while she played "Never Have I Ever" with us.  She would say "Never Have I Ever <fill in the blank>" and if we had ever done the thing she yelled out, we would be required to do some exercise before beginning to run again.  If we hadn't done the deed, we would just keep running.  Spoiler: I did a lot of running during the warm-up.  Here is an example of how this went:

Coach Steph: Never have I ever had sex on the beach!
<Everyone else in the class drops to do burpees>
Me: As in the drink?
<Disapproving head shakes>
<I keep running>

Yeah, I'm as cool as you imagined I was.  Only much less so.

Now that I had confirmed how pathetic I was to the entire gym, we were ready to do the workout.  We grabbed our barbells and began to push press.  I knocked out the first 10 and started on my hang squat cleans.  And it did not take long at all to realize how painful these would be.  I thought that I could make it through the first round of 10 at least.  Instead, I had to split the first round into two sets of 5.  However, throughout the workout, whenever I finished the round of hang power cleans, I strung together the next round of push presses before dropping the bar.  Rather than writing out paragraphs on when I dropped the bar, here's the quick version:

10 push presses, 5 hang squat cleans <drop>,
5 hang squat cleans, 9 push presses <drop>,
3 hang squat cleans <drop>,
3 hang squat cleans <drop>,
3 hang squat cleans, 8 push presses <drop>,
5 hang squat cleans <drop>,
3 hang squat cleans, 7 push presses <drop>,
5 hang squat cleans <drop>,
2 hang squat cleans, 6 push presses <drop>,
4 hang squat cleans <drop>,
2 hang squat cleans, 5 push presses <drop>,
5 hang squat cleans, 4 push presses <drop>,
4 hang squat cleans, 3 push presses <drop>,
3 hang squat cleans, 2 push presses, 2 hang squat cleans, 1 push press, 1 hang squat clean <DONE!>

Writing it out like that lets me know I took a whopping 13 breaks during this workout!  So not good.  Josh M was working out next to me and telling me to keep going to stay with him, but he pulled away near the end of this.  Aside from Josh though (and Alison, who was way ahead of all of us), I made it out the door for my run before anyone else.  Perhaps I should put run in quotes.  "Run".  Yeah, that seems more accurate.

Usually when I run after destroying my legs in a workout, it is a super gimpy run that may actually be slower than walking.  But I do go through the motion of running because it feels like I am giving up to walk.  As I headed out the door for my final 800 meter run, my legs were fried.  I didn't make it 50 meters before I had to walk.  I was in deep doo-doo.  I expected one of the other guys to go running by me, but luckily that didn't happen.  After about 50 meters of walking, I felt like I had stretched out my legs a little bit and got back into a semi-gimpy run.  As the run progressed, my legs began to slowly feel better.  In fact, I was legitimately able to run hard the last 100 meters.  Final time: 17:07.

That was not really what I was looking for in terms of time, but my original analysis of this workout was probably way off-base, so I'll take 17:07.  I definitely need to work on bearing down in the early rounds of workouts like this one.  There is no excuse for breaking up the round of 9 into three sets of 3.  Completely wimpy.  Should have been 5 and 4 at the very least.

It was a tough, sweaty workout, but I would have plenty of time to recover.  The next two days I would be participating in the Battle of Saratoga.  The next blog post will cover that in detail.  If you're not interested in that story, definitely skip "Watching $100,000 Disappear In 10 Minutes".  It will be a very long blog post.

This Is How You Get Stronger

Workout date: 8/10/15

I had a very tough decision last Saturday morning.  Should I get up at the break of dawn, drive to the gym, and spend two hours at Competitors Class?  Or should I get up at the break of dawn, drive to the gym, have mimosas in the parking lot with Cline, then go to a breakfast buffet to celebrate Rachel's 25th birthday?  So tough to choose!  Luckily my two-headed coin landed on heads and I got to lose my Shady Maple virginity.  There was raspberry french toast, a bacon omelette, many types of breakfast meats, a bowl of fruit, and some coffee.  Perhaps not my greatest performance in overindulgence, but I left a happy man.  Happy 25th Coach Intern Rachel!

On Sunday, I went to see the new 25 year old compete at the Co-Ed Throwdown with her partner #keithie.  The event was being held at Crossfit Advance, which was lucky for me as my friend D works out there.  I got to see her in action, as well as Michal and her partner Craig (also a member of Crossfit Advance).  With my friends Shaymus and Kristina in town (along with their little girls Natalie and Emma), I wasn't able to make it to Crossfit Advance for the beginning of the event, but I did catch the second half of it.  The workouts were definitely more difficult than you would come across in your typical Crossfit competition, although to be fair, all of the competitions I sign up for come with divisions for scaled, intermediate, or old guys.  To give you an idea of how tough the competition was, Rachel and #keithie finished 20th, and those two are rock stars at our gym.  Let's be glad I didn't embarrass myself by signing up.  (That would have to wait a week)

With a weekend free of working out, I was looking forward to a Monday WOD.  Unfortunately, it turned out to be a real mess.  And for once it wasn't due to my lack of athletic ability.  The Monday WOD was:

Snatch Balance: 1-1-1-1-1
Snatch: 1-1-1-1-1-1-1
Cash out: Complete 60 Pistols while doing 3 Burpee Pull-Ups EMOM (Every Minute On the Minute)

Why was this such a mess?  It was a bit of a perfect storm really.  The 6:30 class was pretty large.  The snatch balance is a movement that we don't practice a lot, so to go through the progression of movements that lead up to the snatch balance took up a chunk of time.  Going through the technical aspects of the snatch took more time.  That meant rushing through the 5 snatch balance attempts with little time to change weights.  That would be repeated when we switched over to the snatch.  All of a sudden this skill/strength workout had turned into a very frustrating metcon.  I did not get all of my snatch balances in before we had to move on.  And there was no way I could legitimately get all of my snatch attempts in unless I didn't change the weight at all.  I managed to successfully snatch 150 pounds, before a rushed attempt at 160 failed.  With 90 seconds left to lift, I decided not to rush any more and make the next lift my last one.  At least by doing that, I had a chance to get 160.  In the end, I did not, but it was better to do that last lift calmly then try to rush to get 7 attempts in.

I was hoping things got better in the cash out as I enjoy pistols, but even that was a little frustrating.  The burpee pull-ups favored the shorter athletes in the gym, as the taller guys would have to jump up to the higher bar.  That would require more energy and more time.  Since this was an EMOM, that could result in the workout lasting minutes longer than it would if you got to use the lower bar.  After the first 3 burpee pull-ups, I knocked out 29 pistols before the clock reached one minute.  I did 3 more burpee pull-ups (slower the second time around), then got 20 more pistols in the second minute.  I didn't move with tremendous urgency in the 3rd minute.  I finished my burpee pull-ups, did 10 pistols, got a little wobbly, and then completed the last rep.  Final time: 2:53.  Not sure if I would have finished in under 2 minutes on the lower bar, but it would have been very close.

I thought my legs, particularly my calves, would be aching after the pistols, but I wasn't hurting too bad.  I decided to stay for strength and continue my back squat program.  The next phase of my back squat program was to do 6 sets of 5 reps at 235.  I warmed up like usual with sets at 135 and 185, before doing my first set of 5 at 235.  It was at that point that I could begin feeling some ache in my legs.  So I made sure to incorporate adequate rest (approximately 3-4 minutes) in between my sets.  There were moments during certain sets where I struggled to fire out of the hole, but I worked my way through the first 5 sets.

After taking another break, I got ready to do my final set.  Tom C was setting up his bar to begin squatting himself.  He saw me approaching my bar and began giving me encouragement.  I laughed and told him I was tired, but that it was my final set.  His response:  "Doesn't matter.  Get this set done.  This is how you get stronger."  Sounded wise to me.  I picked the bar up out of the rack, did my 5 reps, and placed it back on the rack.  I was tired, but hopefully the will to finish up the work even when I was tired will make me stronger.

Next blog post: Hang squat cleans don't seem so bad, but they're evil!  Evil I say!

The Stones Will Be Found, Dr. Jones

Workout date: 8/7/15

I did say in my last post that this week would be just as busy as last week.  It may have been even busier.  So my profound apologies for the delay in updating the blog, but I hope to catch up on everything that has happened in the past week and a half by tomorrow evening.  That includes workouts, a special non-workout blog post on the handicapping contest I was in this week (the event felt blog-worthy despite not having anything to do with Crossfit), and my experience at yesterday's Brawl in the Burbs competition with my Soukas.

Let's rewind back to last Friday though.  I was planning on meeting some friends in the city for dinner, so I got myself to an earlier class than normal.  In fact, I think it was my first ever 3:30 class at KOP in the 2.5 years I have been there.  The workout was 50% something I enjoyed (atlas stones) and 50% something I did not enjoy (sumo deadlifts).  We were starting off with the sumo deadlifts.  The goal was to find a 2RM.  Part of the reason I don't particularly like deadlifts is because I always feel like I am doing them wrong.  Probably not using my legs enough, although I actively think about using them when I start the lift.  I have been stuck at around the same max deadlift for a long time.  It had been 365 pounds, but then I finally got to 385, where it has remained since last year.

Somehow I don't think the remedy to what ails me with my deadlift form is to have an awkward stance, but that is what the sumo deadlift calls for.  You stand with your feet spread far apart, pointing in a NW and NE direction as you attempt to lift a huge amount of weight.  The bright side to this awkward stance is that it makes your range of motion smaller.  As a result, some people can lift more in the sumo stance while others can lift more in the normal stance.  As for me, there has never been any difference.  My regular deadlift PR and sumo deadlift PR have moved in tandem.

The best part of the 3:30 class was getting to work out with Justin R.  Of all the people in the gym, Justin is probably closest in body type to me.  He's slightly taller, weights a few pounds more (I didn't know that until he told me during this workout), and he's a few years younger than me.  There are a couple of things in the gym that I am a little bit better than him at and there are many things which he is much better than me at.  Add all of that up and it makes him the perfect guy to try to keep up with. It was no surprise that we would end up mirroring one another throughout the day.

We were supposed to do at least 7 sets during the workout, so Justin and I started at 225.  From there we moved up to 255 and 285 without much of an issue.  At 315, Justin looked a little less comfortable during his lifts.  He would be successful at 335, but that was as high as he completed.  I kept up the 30 pound increases and went from 315 to 345 and still felt relatively good.  345 was my 5th set and it was decision time.  Did I want to be aggressive and put another 30 pounds on the bar, going for 375 with a possible PR at 395?  Or did I want to be a bit more conservative and go 365 and 385 for sets 6 and 7?  If we were doing a 1RM, I almost certainly would have chosen the more aggressive path, but since it was a 2RM, I went the more conservative route.

The lift at 365 was the first real struggle of the afternoon.  I was holding my breath during the lift and by the time I dropped the bar, I imagine my face had turned a light shade of purple.  I exerted a lot of effort to get that second rep up.  At the very least, I felt good about my decision not to jump up to 375.  Now it was time for 385.  I had managed 385 for 1 rep doing a regular deadlift, so getting two reps here would be a PR of sorts for me.  My mindset was the same as it always is on these heavy deadlifts: just get the barbell moving.  I stepped in and got the barbell moving.  I paused briefly at the top of the first lift and held on tight for the second rep.  Once again, there was a lot of exertion, not a lot of breathing, and the feeling that my head might pop off.  But I got the second rep up.

Having been successful with 2 reps at 385, I wanted to at least attempt 405.  The 400 lb deadlift has been one of those nice round numbers I'd like to eclipse (same deal with the 300 lb back squat) and it's been a little frustrating not being able to get there.  So I loaded up the bar with 405 and once again told myself to just get the barbell moving.  I stepped in, pulled as hard as I could, but the barbell would not move.  That sucked.  I regrouped for a second shot at 405, taking some time to chalk up my hands.  When I was ready, I came back to the barbell, pulled with everything I had, only to figure out that the barbell was more stubborn than I was.  I would not be eclipsing 400 pounds today.

That wasn't so bad since I would now get to play with the atlas stones.  Atlas stones have a special place in my heart.  Before I began watching the Crossfit Games on ESPN2 at three in the morning, I used to watch The World's Strongest Man competitions in that time slot.  And traditionally, the atlas stones would be the final event.  Five stones needed to be lifted onto a podium with the "lightest" stone (some ridiculous amount of weight) being placed on the highest end of the podium.  As the athletes progressed down the line, the stones got heavier and the podium height was lower.  Sometimes the best events are also some of the simplest and this event was always fascinating for me to watch.  When I learned that our gym had some of these (albeit much lighter versions), I was psyched to learn how to lift them.

The cash out involved choosing a stone and lifting it to your shoulder as many times as you could in 5 minutes.  Once again, Justin and I would mirror one another by choosing a 110 pound stone, but that would be where all similarities would end.  This cash out sounded like it was about strength, when the truth is it was all about cardio.  For Justin, 5 minutes of cardio was going to be a breeze.  He won the KB swing/sit-up event at King and Queen this year by having the best engine in the gym.  Meanwhile, my Check Engine light comes on after a couple of minutes and it is not due to a faulty CO2 sensor.  I tried to keep up with Justin for the first minute, but he was a couple reps ahead of me even then.  As the minutes wore on, I needed more and more rest while Justin kept picking up the stone and plopping it back down on the mat.  When the 5 minutes were up, he had lifted the stone 38 times, easily besting my score of 23 reps.

There was still one more thing I wanted to try out.  There was a new 207 lb stone in the gym and no one had yet lifted it to their shoulder.  Maybe I could be the first!  (Just let me have my delusions)  First, I needed to get the 175 lb stone on my shoulder.  After messing up my first attempt, I got it on my shoulder on my second try.  Justin had tried to get the 207 lb stone, but said it wouldn't budge.  On my first attempt, I got it to budge, nearly pulling it into my lap.  I wanted another shot at it.  On my second attempt, I got the big stone moving again, but this time, I got it into my lap.  I really might be the first to get this on my shoulder!  (Seriously, just let me...)  I re-adjusted my grip, got my breathing comfortable and got ready to pop this stone up on my shoulder.  Except my body said "oh hell no".  As I went to pop up, my calves tightened immediately, leaving me without the help of my lower body as I tried to transition the stone.  There was an immediate strain on my back and I dropped the stone as fast as I could.  It was the closest I have come to having a major injury at the gym.  Needless to say, I did not make a third attempt.

While I avoided a major injury, I was still beaten up by the atlas stones.  I had red marks all over my shoulder and a bit of a gash on my collarbone.  I put Neosporin on it and bandaged it for a few days.  Each time I took the bandage off, there was yellow pus on the bandage.  I began to worry that I had a Khal Drogo situation going on, but in the time since then, it has healed more normally.

Next blog post: Rachel's birthday, a co-ed competition (thankfully not involving me), and the Monday WOD.