Cooler Heads Prevail

Workout date: 6/8/16

When I see a workout with a time cap attached to it, I take it as a challenge.  Oh you don't think I can get all of that done?  Bring it on!  At least that challenge is being issued to everyone.  Back when I started Crossfit, I would routinely get time capped because I was still working long after everyone else was done.  It was always disappointing being the recipient of a time cap in a workout where one was never intended.  Apparently the mercy rule exists in Little League and Crossfit.

When a time cap does get included with the workout description, the message is more along the lines of "we don't expect many of you will finish this in the time allotted".  And in the case of Wednesday's workout, you could take "many of you" and drop the first letter.  Here's what was in store for those who enjoy pain:

35 min time cap
Row 500 meters
Upon completing a 500 meter row, do a set of burpees, with the number of reps declining each round from 15 to 1

Let's put that into perspective.  At our gym, there are only a couple of women who can row 2,000 meters in 8 minutes.  That is a 2:00 pace per 500 meters.  I would guess there are a fair number of male athletes in the gym that would be in the neighborhood of 8 minutes for 2,000 meters.  So overall, there is a small percentage of athletes in the gym that can hold that pace for 2,000 meters.  If you held that pace for all 7,500 meters in this workout, that would equate to 30 minutes of rowing, leaving 5 minutes for the 120 burpees necessary to finish the entire WOD.  That's a pace of 24 burpees per minute, assuming you held that grueling pace on the row.  In short, no one was finishing this workout.  It would be impressive if you even came close.  (Spoiler: the top scores for the day were put up by those who finished 114 burpees and between 6,000 and 6,500 meters on the rower.)

I would describe myself as very average on the rower, meaning that I could probably hold that 2 minute pace per 500 meters for several legs of this workout, but it wouldn't be long before my pace began tailing off.  As for burpees, I am below average.  Sometimes I get a burst of energy and find a way to plow through a large set of them.  That's the exception to the rule.  Typically, I get tired and begin crawling my way through reps.  With the possibility of up to 120 burpees in this workout, I was expecting quite a bit of crawling in this WOD.  My goal was to push off the crawling as long as possible.

I attended Coach Jenna's 7:30 class and the only other person there with me was Julie Foucher.  Why do we call her Julie Foucher?  Mainly because her first name is Julie.  (Witty, aren't we?)  But part of that nickname comes from the fact that Julie has shown an aptitude for Crossfit despite being relatively new to the gym.  This workout seemed perfect for her because she told me and Jenna prior to the start that she likes burpees.  (Note: If someone tells you that they like burpees, run away from them as fast as you can.  Don't walk.  Run!  You are clearly dealing with someone who is not human.)  She was pretty strong on the rower too.  I began to mentally prepare for the impending ass-whooping.

If this WOD had taken place on any day in the last two weeks, that ass-whooping would have been a certainty.  However, the Crossfit gods took pity on me for once.  Earlier in the day, a big storm passed through our area.  It was so bad that Jenn's plane from Chicago was diverted to Pittsburgh to wait out the storm before continuing on to Philly.  The storm brought lots of wind and rain, but it also brought cooler temperatures.  For once, I didn't need to walk around the gym and frantically make sure that all of the fans were on.  Didn't need the fans at all during this workout.  It was perfect workout weather.  I couldn't blame the heat this time around if I fell apart during the WOD.

There wasn't a whole lot to go over during the warmup.  Rowing is simple.  Burpees are simple.  Both movements can be painful, but they're not complicated.  So Jenna got to choosing the first song of many for this workout.  The clock started and Julie and I began rowing.  We hadn't gone 50 meters before Cline, Michal, and Rachel were yelling at us to row faster.  It's all fun and games when you're not doing the 35 minute WOD!  (To be fair, Cline had just done it in the 6:30 class.  But he had been recovered from it for a good 15 minutes.)  I didn't want to go super fast on that first row, but when you're fresh, you end up going faster than you expect.  I completed the first 500 meters in about 1:45, which immediately made me think about how many more legs I could do under 2:00 pace.  (Spoiler: The answer was zero.)  I got off of my rower and started on my 15 burpees.

Since the rower has the unfortunate side effect of zapping your legs, there was part of me that was concerned about resorting to some crawling burpees in that very first round.  I made it through 8 reps and already my mind was thinking about how much I hated burpees.  It seemed really weak at that point to have to crawl to finish the round.  Plus, if I pushed hard to get through the burpees, I could recover while beginning my next 500 meter row.  I kept dropping down and popping up until 15 burpees were completed.  I was a few burpees ahead of Julie going into the second row.

The next few rounds were all very similar.  I started slow on the rower, but eventually got the pace on the monitor close to 2:00.  When I got off of the rower, I kinda fell into that first burpee.  I would get 5-6 burpees done, then internally scold myself for even thinking about crawling.  Push through the rest of these burpees and you can recover as you start the next row!  Over and over I kept telling myself that as the burpees slowly became more and more sucky.  The good news was that each time I gave myself that speech, there were less burpees that I had to do.  The mental hurdle kept getting lower and lower.

I distinctly remember looking at the clock and seeing that only 12 minutes had elapsed (must have been at around the end of round 4).  I wasn't sweating as much as I typically had over the last two weeks, but I was still dripping both on my rower and on the section of the floor to my right where I was doing burpees.  I had done 2,000 meters of rowing and 54 burpees without slowing down, yet I was only one-third of the way through the workout.  That was a gut punch.  There was nothing to do but put my head down and keep rowing.

My lead on Julie was around 4-5 burpees at this point.  She was rowing at nearly the same pace as me, but I was keeping pretty close to her with the pace of my burpees.  Four more rounds went by and the margin stayed about the same.  When I got on my rower, I was able to complete 80-100 meters before Julie began her next row.  Jenna stood between us, cheering us on.  I was lost in my own little world.  During the burpees, Michal had come over several times to yell at me to keep going or to go faster (imagine that).  There would be no attempts at sweaty hugs this week.  Down, up, clap.  Down, up, clap.  Don't slow down, don't wimp out, recover on the rower!  If I slowed down at all, Julie Foucher was going to pass me.  And to hold the lead this long and then give it up would have been a bummer.  Gotta keep pushing.

During the 9th round, I snapped out of my fog.  Julie was talking to Jenna, saying she didn't know what round we were on for the burpees.  I looked at her and said "seven burpees".  She said she couldn't hear me.  I said seven two more times, but got a shake of the head back each time.  Finally I yelled "SEVEN", to which Julie yelled back "THANKS".  Even though we were both pushing hard, it was a nice moment of levity in the middle of a workout that was quickly becoming more and more painful.

Seven burpees wasn't bad and six was even better.  I had finished off 5,000 meters and 105 burpees.  There were only about 4 and a half minutes until the time cap.  My 500 meter pace was closer to 2:15 than 2:00 this late in the workout, so the chances of me completing 6,000 meters was looking bleak, especially since I had to hop off the rower and do 5 burpees in between.  I had increased my lead a little more in the latter stages of the workout as my lead on the rower was over 100 meters each time she got back on her rower.  I did my best to pick up the pace a little bit, but my back was sore.  My mid-section felt like it had been stabbed repeatedly because I was yanking the handle into it over and over again as I attempted to row faster.  It was going to be tough to complete 6,000 meters.  Even if I got there, I probably wouldn't have the 15 seconds or so I needed to finish off burpees 111 through 114.

I got to 5,500 meters, slipped my feet out of the straps and did my 5 burpees as quickly as I could.  I staggered back over to the rower, got my feet back in the straps, and started pulling.  At the beginning of these rows, I was closing my eyes and just pulling with whatever energy I had simply to get the flywheel moving.  I was going to need 15-20 seconds before I could row with speed.  When I opened my eyes during this final row, I had to start estimating how fast I would need to go to finish 6,000 meters before the time cap.  It looked like my last 500 meters was going to require a pace of about 1:55, about 20 seconds faster than I had been rowing.  I told myself it was the last row and to give it everything I had.  Jenna let us know we had 30 seconds left, but I was still 150-160 meters shy of 6,000.  I knew 6,000 wasn't happening, but I tried to pull as hard as I could in the remaining time.  The clock hit 35 minutes and Jenna yelled time.  Final score: 110 burpees + 474 meters (5,974 meters total).

I collapsed to the left side of my rower as Julie sat on hers.  She looked like she could do another 35 minutes of this workout.  I think I probably could have finished the remaining work (final time guess of about 43 minutes), but I was smoked.  I was happy that I held off Julie, but she pushed me the whole way, finishing 174 meters behind me.  More than anything, I was excited that I didn't crawl through one burpee.  Nor did I take any breaks during the burpees.  I kept pressing through each of the sets and I made it through all of them with decent speed.  Turns out I can actually do some of these WODs when I'm not working out in a sauna.

Thursday preview:  The temps remain cool.  Will that lead to an improved performance at Endurance?