(If you would like to read a much more entertaining recap of the Festivus Games, might I recommend clicking here ---> https://shiteatinggrin.wordpress.com/2015/04/21/2015-festivus-games-i-came-here-to-chew-gum-and-do-some-crossfit-and-yes-i-do-have-some-extra-gum-would-you-like-a-piece/)
The big event on the calendar this past weekend was the Festivus Games. This is an event that is designed for people more of my skill level. No "firebreathers" allowed. Only a novice (pronounced no-viss) and intermediate division. The WODs were announced months in advance, so we were able to practice them at the gym, although due to some scheduling issues, I was only able to practice WOD #1. No worries. I mean, how hard could WODs #2 and #3 be? <gulp>
Having gone 5 days without doing any sort of metcon-like workout, I headed to the gym on Thursday to take on one of the stranger workouts that I have seen programmed. The workout was for time: 800 meter run, 50 back squats (135/95), 50 bench press (135/95), 400 meter run, 25 back squats, 25 bench press, 1 muscle up. Just a very weird setup all around. First, it is rare that a large number of bench press reps are programmed without someone spotting you. Second, the "reverse Castro", finishing the workout with a single muscle-up. It was all so unique. As a result, I was captivated and felt the need to get in on this workout.
Unfortunately, I made the mistake of saying this to Rachel and Michal prior to the workout, which resulted in some threatening texts in return. Both claimed that it was too close to the competition to be doing a workout like this and that I would end up exhausting myself for Saturday. Little did they know that I would be exhausted either way on Saturday! Who got the last laugh now? (Probably not me. Hmmm...I may not have thought that one all the way through.)
Anyway, Michal was there to play enforcer and made sure that I did not do the workout. Instead, I practiced various parts of WODs #2 and #3 using lighter weight. Instead of the 135 pounds I would be using on Saturday, I used 95 pounds. And boy could I blow through front squats and power cleans using that weight. Even got a compliment on how fast I could motor through burpees after doing the power cleans! I brought out a 20" box and pogo'd up and down off the box 15 reps at a time. They should have mailed me the Intermediate trophy on Thursday night. Or not.
Despite the strict admonition not to exert myself too much, Michal came up with a cashout of wall balls and KB swings that she wanted to do. I suggested a 21-15-9 format. We used the typical weight for the wall balls (20 lbs for me, 14 lbs for Michal, even though she would be using only 10 lbs on Saturday as a NO-VISS) and a lighter than standard weight for the KBs (35 lbs for me, 26 lbs for Michal). My goal was simple: go unbroken. I knew on Saturday that I would need to do big sets of the wall balls for WOD #1 and this would actually be decent practice for that. We started with the KB swings and I got through those fine, and even that first set of 21 wall balls wasn't too bad. On the set of 15, I began feeling it in my shoulders on both the KB swings and wall balls, but got through it. And at that point, there was no way I was letting myself fail on the set of 9. I even finished my last round of wall balls before Michal finished her set of 15! (Only brag of today's post) Michal then showed me up a few minutes later by stringing 110 double unders in a row. Damn, my brag seems weak in comparison now.
On Friday, I came back to practice double unders. Earlier in the week, my jump rope had gone missing, causing me a mild amount of panic, since I'm not that great at double unders using a speed rope tailored to my height. Using some other rope at the last minute did not seem like a recipe for success. However, I found my rope on Friday morning and all was well again. I wanted to make sure that I still had the rhythm down for double unders, as I would only be doing them for 1 minute at the competition. I couldn't afford to be standing there fumbling with my rope. After doing a set of 34, a set of 36, and a set of 20, I felt like I could manage sixty seconds of decent double unders. I followed jump rope practice with some mobility, went home, took an epsom salt bath, and caught some shut-eye before the big day.
My best Festivus training may have revolved around the fact that I had routinely been showing up at the gym at 7am on Saturdays, so arriving to the parking lot for our carpool into the city was a bit of a breeze. I got there at 7:02, PRing with a 9 minute drive from my house. Keithie (it's a thing now, just go with it) was there along with Dana and Shawna, who were riding together. As we waited for Cline, Michal, and Rachel, Dana offered us a ride in her large, spacious vehicle. Lacking coffee or just lacking the general ability to think clearly this early in the morning, I politely declined. Cline showed up right as they were leaving, with Michal and Rachel arriving about 10 minutes later (that's my story and I'm sticking to it!). Rachel's ride was a bit smaller than Dana's and now we were packing in 5 people along with tents (our gym bags and the cooler graciously agreed to ride in the trunk). Come back Dana, come back!!!
By the time we had left the local Wawa, it was already past 7:30, with check-in beginning at 8:00. We had a smooth ride down 76, before encountering the dreaded parking dilemma associated with being in South Philly. We finally found a "spot" in the lot of a nearby grocery store, grabbed our tents, cooler, and gear, and trekked several blocks to Fearless Athletics, home of this year's Games. After establishing our territory, we got in line to check-in as 8:30 drew near.
Camp KOP: Before the carnage
The event organizers tried to rush us through the line as 8:30 was supposed to be when we were to go over standards, with 9:00 the designated starting time for the event. I'd like to say that except for some not-so-hot spreadsheet work, the organizers at Fearless Athletics did a great job running this event. They got everyone checked in prior to the standards briefing (and some of us got a second t-shirt...score!) and things were rolling at precisely 9:00am. To keep things moving smoothly, they had WOD #1 set up on the left side of the gym with WOD #2 set up on the right side. Some of us were scheduled to do WOD #2 first (that would be me) while others would start with WOD #1. Over the course of the first 3 hours, you would eventually make your way to the other side of the gym. I was scheduled for WOD #2 at 9:39, with WOD #1 taking place at 11:10.
As someone who is a much better cheerleader than competitor, I wanted to try and root on all of our athletes, but rolling in 13 strong (Guys: me, Cline, and soon-to-be-dad Tim H. Girls: Jill A., Jill C., Jen, Alona, Dana, Shawna, Rachel, Michal, Kate, and Regi) made it difficult to support everyone during their workouts. In some heats, 2-3 KOP athletes were competing, sometimes on opposite sides of the gym. Plus you need some time to mentally and physically prepare for your own heats.
Cline was not mentally prepared this early in the morning for the unlimited positive energy of Jill C.
With the early heats spaced 13 minutes apart (10 minutes for the WOD, 3 minute intermission between heats), I got to see the 9:00 and 9:13 heats, as well as a little bit of the 9:26 before I went to get ready for WOD #2. A quick recap of what these WODs actually were:
WOD #1: 1,000 meter row followed by 50 wall balls (10 minute time cap)
WOD #2: 2 minute AMRAP of front squats (135), followed by 2 minutes of rest, then a 6 minute AMRAP of 6 power cleans (135) and burpees over the bar
WOD #3: 5 minute AMRAP of 5 push press (115) and 15 box jumps (20"), followed by 1 minute of rest, then 1 minute of double unders.
The plan for WOD #2 was to hold on to the bar for the entire two minutes of the first segment, then to keep moving for part two. I wanted to get at least 30, possibly 40 reps, on part one, while something in the 60-72 rep range would be the target for part two. The one thing I did not account for was how muggy it would be in the gym. Not that I would have been on the podium at the end of the day if this had been held in November, but the heat certainly had an effect on the sweatiest guy in the competition. We got going on the front squats and I started with a squat clean to get a quick rep, followed by controlled rep after rep. When I hit 20 reps, I peeked at the clock and saw 45 seconds. Wow, I was doing well! Or so I thought. Soon, the weight began to get heavy and I needed to breathe to keep it under control. Except breathing meant sucking in hot air, which my body was not receptive to. So I tried to hold my breath. When I needed to breath again, I dropped the bar. I ended up dropping the bar twice, recovering with a squat clean to get quick reps. By the end of two minutes, I was gasping with only 34 reps to my name.
After two minutes rest, I got ready for the power cleans and burpees. I knocked out the first set of 6 power cleans without letting go of the bar, but it was clear that the burpees were going to be a big problem as those required lots of breathing. I slowly made my way through a set of 6 and got back to the bar. I had already gotten to the point that fast singles were now necessary and the whole thing felt like a slog. I would do the power cleans as quick as I could, then trudged my way through some ugly burpees. I didn't know how much time was left. I found out afterwards that my form was lousy during the cleans. It was just a mess. But I tried to keep moving. With 4 rounds down (48 reps), I heard "1 minute remaining!". I got to the bar and held on for 3 reps while making some unfortunate grunting sounds. Grabbed the bar for 2 more, then finally the last rep. I got down on the floor and started with the burpees. Needed to finish this round to get 60 reps. As the time ticked down, I finished off all 6 burpees, then had a few seconds remaining to get in one last power clean. 61 reps would be my score as I desperately searched for oxygen.
I spent the next hour either outside recovering or back inside rooting on the rest of team KOP. Oh, and dreading the next event. Having done WOD #1 twice at the gym, I knew the most difficult part was maintaining my breath while trying to string as many wall balls as possible. How the hell was I supposed to do that in this sauna? Plus Keithie had already given me and Rachel an ultimatum on what would happen if we dropped the ball (he would no longer be our coach) and Rachel had already successfully done all 50 without dropping it (she found a loophole: she caught the ball and held on to it while resting). That seemed completely unappealing to me. I would do my best to string as many as I could, but if the ball needed to be dropped (like the barbell during the front squats), I was dropping it. I also made the bonehead decision to go slower during the row in order to maintain my breath. After hearing later on how fast others went, this was probably not my wisest choice. It really all came down to being able to breathe though (poor Dana had to hear about this from me all day long and may have began drinking mid-day because of it). There was no part of me interested in passing out during this event. If I needed air, I was stopping.
3...2...1...go! I started rowing and maintained a steady 4:00 pace for 1,000 meters. I got off the rower and got to work on the wall balls. They were painful, but I was determined to keep going and then push some more before stopping. In practice, my first sets were 15 and 17, respectively, during my two attempts. On Saturday, I hit 21 before getting no repped and losing the will to keep going. After that, it was pretty bad. I was spent after the first set of 21. I got no repped 2-3 more times while trying to finish the last 29 good reps. The ball would hit the wall and come almost straight down every time I threw it, causing me to move in really close to the wall. Keithie yelled at me to not drop the ball or "we would no longer be friends". I boldly called his bluff by dropping the ball approximately 5 more times. I resorted to a basketball-style shot, because that was the only way I could consistently get the ball over the 10 ft mark. When it was all said and done, I had PL'd (personal low) the workout with a slow time of 7 minutes flat. That falling sound you just heard was me plummeting down the standings.
It would now be over 3 hours until my next event. Somehow I ended up near the end of the WOD #3 heats after being closer to the front end of the heats for WODs #1 and #2. This took forever! It was bad enough that I was not even remotely in contention, now I would be one of the last to drink beers upon completing my final WOD. There was an hour lunch break to set up WOD #3, but at 1:00pm, KOPers started finishing up their day and cracking open cold ones. I was stuck waiting until 2:20pm. To be fair, having a beer may have been hazardous to my health as Cline let me know that the beers were "almost too cold".
At long last, it was my turn to go. Pretty much everyone in the competition had resorted to step-ups instead of box jumps for WOD #3, so even though I knew I could pogo at least 1 round, I decided not to buck the trend. I would step up and down from that box as fast as possible. As for the push presses, I felt confident I could handle 5 quick reps at 115 pounds. I wasn't entirely sure what a good score for the workout would be, but my goal was 6 full rounds. For the next 300 seconds, I thought I was going as fast as humanly possible. In fact, I was worried I might be going too fast on the step-ups and get no repped. Thankfully that didn't happen. Apparently I wasn't moving fast enough for Cline as I heard yells of "go faster motherfucker!" during the workout. Towards the end I started to tire a little on the step-ups, but I made up for that by using my arm to push off my knee to get leverage and propel myself up on the box. With time winding down, I completed round 6 and made it back to the bar. I grabbed the bar, knocked out 5 reps and that was all for me. I finished with 125 reps and a smile on my face.
Wait, there's more? Oh yeah, the one minute of double unders. Smile gone. Perhaps I shouldn't have used up all my energy during those last 5 minutes. I rested for about 30 seconds, then grabbed my rope. The goal here was simple: don't embarrass yourself. I had no score in mind. I just didn't want to be the guy who kept hitting himself over and over again with the rope. The minute started and by some miracle I hit one double under after another. Finally, 19 reps in, fatigue got to me and I stopped. From there, I could never regain that same rhythm, but with about 10 seconds to go, I started doing really high jumps in order to get a few extra reps in. I was also bounding forward, causing my judge to develop a look of terror, as the sweaty wildebeest in front of her was getting closer and closer. Mercifully, the minute ended and I had a score of 38 reps. I requested a beer and Cline hooked me up with an "almost too cold" beverage.
There's oxygen in this can, right?
But the stars of the show were the KOP ladies. They came out in force on Saturday. Among the 10 participants, some were taking on a competition like this for the first time. Some would have been candidates for the podium had the WODs been a little bit different. But across the board they killed it. And the camaraderie among them makes them a very cool group to hang out with.
The badass ladies of KOP. Taking a break from crushing the competition. (Along with some quality Souka photobombs from Alison.)
Which brings us to the two monsters that kick my ass on almost a daily basis. Of course they made it to the championship WOD. Heading into the final event, Rachel had a huge lead on the Intermediate competition, while Michal was tied for second in the NO-VISS division. Michal was up first in the championship WOD and simply crushed it. The leader going into the event kept trying to catch up as the WOD progressed, but then Michal would simply pick up her speed again, repelling the leader's attempt at stealing this workout from her. Her victory cinched second place overall in the competition. Meanwhile, Rachel was so far ahead that she could have sent me in to do the championship WOD and still won her division. And let's be clear, the Intermediate girls would have smoked me had I substituted in that event. Rachel ended up finishing third in the championship WOD, but the overall winner was never in doubt as team KOP started chanting her name before the final result was announced.
The Champs! They finally decided to kick other people's asses for a change.
Cline broke out the champagne and some Sex Bomb to end the day. It was an incredibly fun experience, even though I could only manage 13th in my division. But sometimes the company you hang out with is more important than results.
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