Naked Cowboys Eating Ice Cream

Workout date: 9/12/17

Dudes After Dark featured some new faces on Tuesday night.  I see Danielle in a lot of classes, but this was the first time that she would be making an appearance at Dudes After Dark.  We would also have a different coach for this class.  LC was nowhere to be found, so Coach Steph would be filling in for her.  Steph is fond of starting off her classes with an ice breaker and tonight would be no different.   She had covered the 6:30 class and gotten some amusing answers to the question she had posed to them, so she was using the same ice breaker with our group.  The question: If you could design your own calendar, what would be the theme?

Jill A had taken part in this survey earlier and she was still hanging around the gym, so she gave us her answer to help get the wheels turning in our heads.  What would Jill's calendar feature?  "Shirtless cowboys" was the response.  That was certainly a very specific answer.  I'm not sure anyone in our class had anything like that lined up when Steph initially asked the question.  But now that it was out there, we couldn't get it out of our minds.  As Steph went around the circle asking each of us about the theme of our calendars, everyone began their reply with "besides naked cowboys?"  (Shirtless cowboys morphed into naked cowboys very quickly.  Welcome to Dudes After Dark.)  Esra was the only one who went in a different direction, simply answering "black".  When it was my turn to respond, I decided to go with a hybrid of Jill's answer and my real answer.  So if anyone spots a calendar with naked cowboys eating ice cream during their holiday shopping, you know who to pick one up for.

With the 7 of us having disclosed the creative direction of our future calendars, we could now move on to today's WOD.  Here's what we'd be doing:

Tuesday's WOD:
4 rounds:
4 minute AMRAP
21/15 calorie row
21 KB swings (53/35)
21 ab-mat sit-ups
*Rest 4 minutes between rounds

All that rest between rounds sounded dangerous to me, but it wasn't put in there because the AMRAPs were ridiculously difficult.  They were included to encourage us to go all out on every round of this workout.  There were no complex movements in this WOD.  It was simply a case of pushing through simple movements as hard as you could.

We stayed in a circle for this workout, so I'll be able to tell you how everyone lined up.  I was in the front left of the gym near the assault bikes.  Going clockwise around the circle from me were Noel, Neil, Cline, The Prodigy, Esra, and Danielle.  My goal in this workout was to try and keep up with Neil and Cline, even though they were better rowers than me.  We'd be rowing more than anything else, so I was at a disadvantage, but if I could do some snappy sit-ups every round, I might be able to hang with them.

There wasn't much for Steph to go over in terms of form and this was a 28 minute WOD (16 minutes on, 12 minutes off), so we didn't waste much time before getting into round one.  It was a little tricky figuring out how well I was doing in comparison to my female classmates because they had less calories to row each round.  I thought I had a strong first row, but Esra popped up off of her rower before everyone.  Yup, even Neil and Cline were behind her.  I'm sure the idea behind this rep scheme is that there is supposed to be equivalence in the time it takes a male to row 21 calories and how long it takes a female to row 15 calories, but there are females at KOP who can beat me on the rower straight up.  (Spoiler: One of them was in this class and she throughly enjoyed this workout.)

With my row complete, I got up and grabbed my KB.  I didn't put it down until I had completed 21 swings.  My ab-mat wasn't too far away, so I got right into my sit-ups.  There were probably about 90 seconds left in this round when I got back to my rower.  I think I was slightly ahead of Neil and Cline at this point, but I couldn't maintain that lead through the second row.  I was able to complete the second row before time was up in the round, leaving me just enough time to do 5 KB swings.  First round score: 89 reps.

Stop me if you've heard this before, but it was a sauna inside the gym.  That wasn't due to extreme temperatures outside.  It was actually quite pleasant once you stepped outside the gym doors.  4 minutes was an awfully long time to sit on your rower and wait for the next round, so I took a stroll outside.  I wasn't out there long before I became paranoid that I'd be late for round 2, but when I came back in, there was over 2 minutes left in our rest period.  I casually walked over to my bag, took out a bottle of water, and got a drink.  Four minutes was beginning to feel like too much rest.  With about 20 seconds left, I sat back on my rower and strapped my feet in.  That was about as long as I wanted to hang out on the rower.

The row to begin round two was slower than my first row of the workout, but faster than the one I did at the end of round one.  I was able to do 21 consecutive KB swings again and I kept up a solid pace on the sit-ups.  I had just over a minute left to row, so I wasn't sure if I'd get back to my KB like I had done in the first round.  I pulled as hard as I could, but I couldn't quite make it to 21 calories a second time.  I'd fall two calories short.  Second round score: 82 reps.

I didn't worry about being late for round 3 when I went outside by myself for my second rest period.  I felt pretty confident someone would yell to me if I was cutting things close, but the break seemed so long that I could have snuck in a power nap before I was needed back on the rower.  I had about a minute left when I came back in.  One swig of water later, I was strapping in for round three.

When I was about to begin my second row in round two, I looked across the circle to see if I was behind Neil and Cline.  (I was.)  They weren't the only ones ahead of me.  Danielle was well into her second row as well.  She appeared to get more reps in round two than round one.  That trend looked like it continued in round three.  She would be the first one to get back for a second row.  Meanwhile, I was having sweat issues.  After completing the first row, I moved over to the KB.  As I swung it, I noticed it was sliding in my sweaty hands.  I got to 11 reps before needing to put it down and wipe it off.  I held on to it for the remaining 10 reps, but I had definitely fallen off of the pace of Danielle, Neil, and Cline.  My sit-ups were still strong, but I had less than a minute on the clock when I got to my second row.  I only finished 12 calories before round three ended.  Third round score: 75.

I was starting to hit the wall.  Danielle was not.  I went through my routine of going outside and then coming back in with a minute or so left in the break, but this time the rest period did not feel long enough to me.  Truth be told, I had no desire to do another round.  Danielle, on the other hand, couldn't wait for the next round to start.  She let the rest of us know how much she was enjoying this workout, grinning from ear to ear as the last few seconds of the break ticked off the clock.  She could probably have done 6 rounds of this WOD if there was enough time for it.

The last round was underway and I was desperate to stop my score from sliding any further.  It had dropped 7 reps from round one to two and from round two to three.  I did the best I could on the row, then went to the KB with the intention of breaking it up into 2 sets again.  If my hands couldn't maintain a strong grip on the KB for 21 reps in round three, then it wasn't gonna happen in round four either.  I did 12 reps before putting down the KB.  I tried not to take much rest, telling myself that this was the end of the KB swings.  I picked it back up and did my remaining 9 reps.  From there, I went into my sit-ups.  For the first time, I experienced some difficulty getting through all 21 quickly.  I didn't need to stop, but I could tell I wasn't moving as fast as I had in the previous 3 rounds.  When I got back for my final row, I had less time remaining than I had back in round three.  It was looking like my score would drop yet again.

I wasn't sure how many calories I could sneak in before time was up, but I was going to try like hell to at least get 12.  I pulled and pulled like a maniac, making all sorts of unfortunate grunting noises  as time wound down.  On my last pull before time was called, my monitor reached 12 calories.  Fourth round score: 75 reps.  Total score: 321 reps.

That wasn't as much as Cline.  It wasn't as much as Neil.  And it wasn't as much as Danielle.  She genuinely seemed disappointed that the workout was over.  Danielle is known for always wanting to do another workout after the WOD is over, so seeing her with energy to spare once class was complete was nothing new to me.  But I don't think I've ever seen her look this happy about a WOD she had just done.  I let her know that this was completely unacceptable behavior.  Dudes After Dark is all about being sassy, not perky.  She would have to adjust her attitude if she was going to come back to our 7:30 class on Tuesday nights.

(I'm totally kidding.  She's obviously welcome any time.  I just wish I could keep up with her.)

Wednesday preview: I'm lured to the gym with promises of ice cream (no naked cowboys included).  I didn't know Fran could be worse than it normally is, but somehow a lousier version gets programmed.  Frosty Falls declares that summer has ended.