Why Are You Here?

Workout date: 8/22/17

"What's up?
"Good to see you!"
"Hey, how've you been?"

These are all examples of greetings that you would expect to receive from someone that you are close to.  Someone who is happy to see you.  What you wouldn't expect to hear from someone who fits that bill is the following:

"Why are you here?!?!"

I showed up for Dudes After Dark on the early side because I wanted to test out my double unders again.  I had made a lot of strides with my double unders and I wasn't going to let yesterday's failure crush me.  When I got to the gym, one of the first people I saw was Bryan.  He gave me one of the three greetings that you see at the top of this post.  We were chit-chatting for a bit when LC showed up.  She saw me and Bryan hanging out and came over to us with a mild look of concern on her face.

"Why are you here?!?!"

It was a little strange that she said that to me.  It was incredibly odd that she said it to her husband.  Neither of us knew why she was so perturbed by our presence.  She felt strongly that we shouldn't be taking part in Dudes After Dark with the Brawl coming up.  But the Brawl was still four days away.  Why did she think it was important that we get four days of rest prior to the competition?  It turns out that she wasn't concerned about how much rest we were going to get as much as she was worried about how wrecked our shoulders would be if we participated in the Tuesday WOD.  That warning didn't compute when she said it to us, but it made a lot more sense once we had finished the workout.  Here's what was planned for this edition of Dudes After Dark:

Tuesday's WOD:
21 strict pull-ups
21 strict handstand push-ups
18 strict pull-ups
18 strict handstand push-ups
15 strict pull-ups
15 strict handstand push-ups
12 strict pull-ups
12 strict handstand push-ups
9 strict pull-ups
9 strict handstand push-ups
6 strict pull-ups
6 strict handstand push-ups
3 strict pull-ups
3 strict handstand push-ups
*Time cap: 20 minutes

For those scoring at home, that was 84 strict pull-ups and 84 strict handstand push-ups.  There's usually a big emphasis on kipping in Crossfit workouts, but that wasn't allowed here.  Either you had the shoulder strength to do these movements or you did not.

Before we got into all that though, I wanted to see if the third time was truly the charm.  I had reached Plan C when it came to strategy for the Polpetta event at the Brawl.  Plan C was like Plan B, only I wouldn't take 10 minutes to complete 250 double unders.  I really felt that my downfall on Monday night was leading with a set of 50.  So all I was going to do on Tuesday before class was see how I felt after doing two sets of 25.  I was also going to note how long it took me to complete.  When I completed my two sets in 51 seconds, I felt like the experiment had been a success.  If I could maintain that pace on Saturday, I'd probably be done in about 5 minutes.  It would take Kris and Raj about 6 minutes before they'd reach the burpees, so even if I was a minute slower than the pace I tested out, I'd meet them at the burpees and be well ahead of Cline on the rower.  Yay, Plan C!

Speaking of Cline, he was not at Dudes After Dark, so I had to fill in as the excellent question asker for the evening.  (Note: This is a bit of an inside joke.  Cline always has a question for LC at Dudes After Dark and LC always begins her reply with "That is an excellent question...".)  My question was on the topic of scaling.  I honestly wasn't sure whether it was better to scale the reps in this workout and do strict pull-ups or if LC would recommend that I use a band and try to do 84 reps.  Because this workout was focused on making athletes do strict movements, my guess was that LC would tell me to scale the reps and do strict pull-ups.  But as is often the case, I was wrong.  She suggested I grab a band for my pull-ups and try to finish all 84 reps.  They were still strict pull-ups that I was doing, but I'd be getting considerable assistance to help me do them.

There were seven of us ready to take on this shoulder-destroying WOD.  It was six dudes (me, Adam, Neil, Bryan, Actuary Mike, and Noel) and one lady (The Prodigy).  I was situated between The Prodigy and Actuary Mike near the center of the gym.  I didn't feel comfortable using the low bar with a band, so I grabbed a box and put it near the pull-up rig so that I could step into the band hanging from the high bar.  LC started the clock and I got to work on 21 strict banded pull-ups.

Right away, I figured out that I was in deep trouble in this workout.  I got through 6 pull-ups and then took a break.  My next three sets would be 3 reps in length, but that would be the end of my triples in this WOD.  Just 15 reps into the first round and I couldn't manage more than 2 banded pull-ups at a time.  I kept pausing and shaking out my arms, but I simply didn't have the raw strength to do well in this workout.

When I did finally complete 21 pull-ups, I got to move on to the part of the WOD that I was likely to do better on.  I've always preferred strict handstand push-ups because I have the tendency to fall off of the wall when I try to kip.  My range of motion is limited when I can't kip, but I'm much more efficient when I go strict.  If I have 2 ab-mats below my head, there is no reason for me to kip as I can handle a large set of strict handstand push-ups with that much cushion below me.  I proved that was the case when I got to the wall for my round of 21 handstand push-ups.  I got upside down, did 12 push-ups, and then came off of the wall.  When I returned to the upside down, I was able to finish the 9 remaining reps.  I wish I could have stayed here and worked my way through the other 63 strict handstand push-ups required in this workout, but alas, I had to go back to the dreaded pull-up bar.

If I had enough shoulder strength to do doubles throughout the round of 18, I would have only needed 8 breaks to get through that round.  Yes, I said only 8 breaks.  In one round.  Sadly I couldn't even manage that.  There were times when I could only manage 1 pull-up.  I'd take a smaller break when I did that, just pausing long enough to step on to my box and shake my arms briefly.  It seemed like everyone else was faring better than I was, but I was holding on to the hope that I'd be able to make up ground on the handstand push-ups.  You know, if I ever got back there.

Okay, the situation wasn't quite that bad.  The clock wasn't anywhere near 20 minutes when I finished up the round of 18 strict banded pull-ups, but I'm sure it was beyond 10 minutes.  My shoulders felt so fatigued that I began to worry that my strict handstand push-ups might go away.  I was relieved to discover that was not the case.  Just like I had done in the round of 21, I completed this round of handstand push-ups in two sets.  I was able to complete 11 in the first set and 7 in the second.  My reward for being competent at strict handstand push-ups was a speedy return to the pull-ups.

The round of 15 pull-ups must have taken as long as the round of 18 did, if not longer.  It was during this round that I got the sense that my classmates were feeling the same way about this workout as I was.  There was a lot more standing around.  People were shaking out their arms.  They were shaking their heads, looking back at the clock to see how much time was left in this WOD.  The volume of strict movements in this workout was just way too high, which explains why LC was trying to shoo me and Bryan away before the class had even begun.  I could only manage one pull-up at a time during this round and there were only a couple of minutes left when I completed it.

I knew the round of 15 would be my last one over at the wall, so I wanted to end things there on a positive note.  The strict handstand push-ups were going to require two sets again, but I was proud that I held on long enough to complete 10 in my first set.  Getting the remaining 5 in the second set wasn't too much trouble.  I had about a minute remaining as I trudged back on to my box to do the last of my pull-ups.

Even if I wanted to put in a final surge on the pull-up bar, I couldn't have.  It wasn't about how much resolve I could muster at the end of this workout.  The pull-ups came down to whether I could lift the giant sack of potatoes known as my body up high enough that my chin would pass over the bar.  In order to do that, I needed to shake out my arms after every rep.  It would have been great to do more than 4 reps in that last minute, but that is all my body could give me.  Final time: 20:56 (20 minute time cap plus one second for the 26 pull-ups and 30 handstand push-ups not completed.)

LC's warning before class seemed silly at the time, but now I was re-evaluating whether I wanted to work out again at all for the remainder of the week.  Maybe it would be best to take the next three days off and be fresh for the Brawl.  I decided to make my decision at 10pm that night when Wednesday's WOD would be posted on the KOP blog.  If it wasn't too spicy, I'd come in for one last pre-Brawl class.  If it was anything like what I had just done for the last 20 minutes, I'd stay home.

Wednesday preview: A strength session and a short cash-out are mild enough to bring me back to the gym one last time before the Brawl.  Neil's definition of "light" is different than mine.