Full Blown Idiot

Workout date: 5/24/17

Because I'm in class with Bryan quite often, we've begun trading some Facebook messages back and forth early in the day to discuss the WOD we will be doing later that night.  Bryan had some reservations about coming back in for Wednesday's workout because he had torn up his hands doing Holbrook the night before.  I had no such concerns.  My grips had done a great job of protecting my hands.  Those grips might look goofy, but they perform as advertised.  I'd be calling on them again in the second half of Wednesday's workout.  Here's what it looked like:

Wednesday's WOD:
3 rounds:
50 double unders
10 overhead squats (135/95)
*5 minute rest*
5 rounds:
3 bar muscle-ups
20 KB swings (53/35)

I was still riding high from my comeback performance on Holbrook, so I was dreaming big when it came to this workout.  Sets of 50 double unders were in my wheelhouse.  I didn't love KB swings, but 20 reps per round didn't sound all that bad.  Know what I do love?  Overhead squats!  My 10RM was 165 pounds, so getting through three rounds of 10 reps at 135 didn't sound so daunting.  I could break those up into two sets of five and be fine.  Even completing 15 bar muscle-ups didn't strike me as impossible.  Twice before, I'd completed 9 in a workout.  Plus I had a breakthrough while doing pull-ups not 24 hours earlier.  Maybe I was about to transfer that pull-up mojo into additional bar muscle-up success!  How far was optimistic Dave's head shoved up his own ass?  When Bryan discussed possible scaling options for this workout, I responded by saying that I was "definitely going full blown idiot and seeing how spectacularly I could fail".  I had no idea how prescient those words would be.

The 7:30 class on Wednesday is usually run by Coach Jenna, but Giulz was filling in for her for the second consecutive week.  She had 4 athletes in her class as Ashley and Jocelyn were joining me and Bryan.  This WOD was going to be on the longer side, so Giulz wasted little time having us get equipment out so that we could walk through the various movements.  We started with the items from the second section of the workout.  We got a lighter KB than the one we would be using in the WOD and did some Russian swings and some American swings.  We then came over to the pull-up rig and went through pull-up progressions before talking about the scaling options for bar muscle-ups (bar muscle-ups with a band, jumping bar muscle-ups, chest-to-bar pull-ups, regular pull-ups, and ring rows).

From there, we turned our attention to the first half of the workout.  All of us got out our jump ropes and we started with single unders.  Then Giulz asked me to demo what 5 consecutive double unders looked like.  Mr. Confidence stood amongst the group, twirled his rope, and immediately hit himself with it before completing a single rep.  "Still at zero", Giulz informed me.  I was able to do 5 in a row on my second try, but that initial failure was the first omen that things were not going to go well for me in this workout.

The last movement to go over was the overhead squat.  Giulz strongly recommended that we choose a weight that we could snatch.  She really didn't want us doing a clean and jerk to get the barbell overhead for these squats.  That introduced some doubt into my mind.  It's not like I couldn't snatch 135 pounds, but my plan coming into the workout was to perform the easier clean and jerk, get the barbell overhead, then take care of the squats.  I did not have a lot of faith that I could power snatch 135 pounds repeatedly, so if I was following Giulz's instructions, I would need to begin my sets with a squat snatch.  That was going to be a lot tougher than the clean and jerk would have been.  As a result, I considered scaling the weight.  Rather than put 45 pound plates on my barbell, I grabbed two 35 pound plates and two 10 pound plates.  I did a few practice reps with just the 35 pound plates on the barbell (115 pounds total) and Giulz was satisfied enough with the reps that she said I could increase the weight if I wanted to.  Operation Full Blown Idiot was a go!

The four of us got ready to begin the double unders and the overhead squats.  Giulz gave us some guidance on how long this first section of the workout should take.  She wanted us to keep it in the neighborhood of six minutes.  Still no alarms going off in my head.  I could do 50 double unders in a minute.  I could do two sets of 5 overhead squats in a minute.  3 rounds at that pace would take me 6 minutes.  Piece of cake!  When it came to the back half of the workout, I was going to attempt to do bar muscle-ups for as long as I could.  With only 3 per round, I thought I might make it through 2-3 rounds before switching to jumping bar muscle-ups.  If things went really well, I might get through all 5 rounds.  As for the KB swings, performing two sets of 10 swings per round seemed perfectly reasonable.  Up until the point that Giulz said "3, 2, 1...go", my plan for this workout seemed very rational to me.  Then it began...

Remember how I flubbed the double under demo during the warmup?  That wasn't an isolated incident.  Or perhaps I should say the set of 5 I did in the warmup wasn't an isolated incident.  I didn't have to worry about doing an unbroken set of 50 double unders because I had a hard enough time piecing together 10 in a row.  I couldn't get any momentum going.  Usually when I struggle with double unders, I'll mess up on that very first rep of the set.  If I can get past that first rep, then I'll usually be fine for a while.  Not on this night.  I thought I'd complete this 1st set of 50 in well under a minute, but instead the clock was showing about 1:30 when I got over to my barbell.  I was able to make this round look respectable when I did two sets of 5 overhead squats with 135 pounds, but that turned out to be much harder than I imagined as well.  As I headed back to the jump rope, I began considering breaking up those 10 overhead squats into three sets during round two.  The clock still hadn't reached 2:30 yet when I finished round one, so I wasn't way behind the pace Giulz wanted.  All I needed to do was get my act together on the double unders.

That didn't happen in round two.  Or round three.  Over and over again, I'd complete 3-5 reps and then manage to hit myself with the rope.  It was like I had completely forgotten how to do double unders.  I think my biggest set during those three rounds of double unders was about 12 in a row.  I knew I had to remain calm to get through them, but as I slowly finished off round two, there was no way I could be anything but angry.

It was about to get worse.  Those overhead squats felt heavier than they should have in round one.  In round two, they were too much for me to handle.  I was able to do a squat snatch, stand up with it, and follow it up with a second rep.  But when I went for a third rep, I careened forward and had to bail the barbell.  I took some time to regroup before doing another squat snatch.  I was barely able to stand that one up.  I was shaking as I tried to do another rep and my lack of stability led to another failure.  My next squat snatch was a miss.  I managed to get the next one and stand it up, but now I was simply snatching instead of overhead squatting because I couldn't tack on any additional reps after the snatch.  Doing one rep at a time was not a realistic option, so I ripped off the 10 pound plates  and chucked them towards the front of the class.  (Don't worry, no one was up there.)  I attempted to squat snatch 115 pounds and failed on my first attempt.  Expletives were yelled.  I got under it the second time and managed to hold on for a few more overhead squats, but three consecutive reps was my max at this moment.  After another break, I did the final three overheads and came back to my jump rope.

As you might have guessed, I was way behind the rest of the class by now.  My third round of double unders put me even further behind because it was no better than either of my first two rounds.  I threw my rope towards those discarded 10 pound plates as I approached my barbell for the final time.  Giulz told me that I didn't need to keep squat snatching the barbell and she was right.  I could power snatch 115 pounds comfortably.  That gave me the extra stability I needed for bigger sets.  I did a set of 6 overheads to begin, then finished off the 1st half of the workout with a set of 4.  Time as I hit intermission: 10:58.

I'd say that was a smidge off of the time that Giulz had recommended.  As I began my mandatory 5 minute rest, the other three members of the class were about to conclude theirs.  I didn't even want the 5 minute rest.  I certainly wasn't moving fast enough during the first half of that workout to require one.  After about a minute, I was all set to go again.  So I got to stew for 4 minutes.  Joy!  I no longer had any confidence that I could do bar muscle-ups, so I grabbed a 13" box and a 25 pound plate for jumping bar muscle-ups.  I sat on that box while I watched Bryan, Ashley, and Jocelyn work on the second half of the WOD.  As the clock closed in on 15:58, I thought of the one thing that would bring me a little happiness in this terrible workout: getting a bar muscle-up.

The idea of getting a bar muscle-up after failing so spectacularly on double unders and overhead squats seemed very far-fetched, but I was coming off of a 5 minute rest period.  It would either happen on my first couple of attempts or it wouldn't happen at all.  I wasn't going to spend all night trying to get one because I was already well behind my classmates.  The clock hit 15:58 and I put everything I had into my 1st attempt.  If it wasn't close at all, I'd bring over the box and begin jumping bar muscle-ups.  If it was close, I'd give myself two more attempts.  Or...

...I could get one on my first try!  It wasn't pretty and it involved me slowly rotating over the bar like a rotisserie chicken, but I got a bar muscle-up.  It was the only one I would get as my next couple of attempts weren't particularly close, but it gave me the boost I needed to complete the workout.  Because let's face it, I kinda wanted to quit after the double unders and the overheads went so poorly. I finished off round one of bar muscle-ups by jumping from my 15" box/plate combo for two reps.  Then I came to the KB and did two sets of 10 reps.  This was already going much better than the first half had.  The only problem was that four rounds remained.  And my classmates were nearly done.  They would soon be doing a lot of cheerleading.

The remaining 12 jumping bar muscle-ups went much easier than I expected.  I've always depended on the 15" box/plate combo because the 17" box seemed like too much help and the 13" box was not enough.  But now that I have the ability to do a bar muscle-up every now and then, maybe I don't need as much assistance when I turn to jumping bar muscle-ups.  I'll be trying out the 13" box next time around.  The only issue on the jumping bar muscle-ups was that my hands had become sweaty and I needed to dry my hands (grips) off after every rep.

For the KB swings, I decided to go 8-6-6 for the next three rounds.  When I started round 4 of my KB swings, Giulz and my 3 classmates began cheering for me enthusiastically, thinking it was my last round.  It was not.  It was kinda embarrassing completing the 20th swing, hearing some loud cheers, and having to tell all of them that I still had another round to go.  Yes, I was that far behind.  Because I went through my final 3 jumping bar muscle-ups quickly, my arms were more fatigued than they had been previously when I got back to the KB.  Giulz wanted me to go 10-10, but I had to put the KB down after 5 reps.  I did another 5 after that.  As I took my last break, Giulz implored me to hold on for the remaining 10 and I was able to do so (although there was much unpleasant grunting).  Final time: 28:26.

My body had let me know in no uncertain terms that I needed a rest day.  I just wish it had been a little clearer that I needed one on Wednesday.  Oh well.  I got through this WOD about 5 minutes after everyone else in class.  That's pretty hard to pull off, but I was especially putrid on this evening. I'd be resting Thursday and waiting until Friday for my next workout.

Friday preview:  Keithie teaches me how to improve my rope climbs.  The WOD includes a movement that I tested out back in the day with LC and Michal when they made me do psychotic cash-outs after class.