Kettlebell Mating Call

Workout date: 7/12/16

I had missed Dudes After Dark a week earlier after doing two very long WODs on Sunday and Monday of Independence Day weekend.  So when I showed up on Tuesday, it was my first visit back to Dudes After Dark since my solo appearance at the end of June.  Turns out this would be a solo workout as well in a certain respect.  It was a partner WOD and the only attendees for the 7:30 class were me and Cline.  We were going to be the only team running around doing the following:

AMRAP in 25 minutes:
15 toes-to-bar
15 overhead squats (135/95)
30 KB swings (70/53)
200 meter buddy carry (partners switch roles after 100 meters)

I immediately felt sorry that Cline was going to have to tote my big behind around while I got off easier by carrying the lighter guy.  Having 210 pounds on his back would not cramp Cline's style though, as he would end up completing each round of the "run" in his own unique fashion.  As for the rest of the workout, we planned on splitting up the toes-to-bar fairly evenly.  I was going to be responsible for more of the overhead squats while Cline would take care of more of the KB swings.  In terms of weight, Cline was using 105 pounds for the overhead squats.  I was happy sharing a barbell with him, but he thought I was going too light just for the sake of using one barbell.  The truth was that I didn't want to use much more weight than 105 because Coach Rachel had said we should be able to snatch the weight for our first rep.  135 pounds isn't a weight I can easily snatch mid-workout and 125 could have been tough for me late in the workout, so I ended up using 115 for my barbell.  We both grabbed our own 70 pound KB.  (Hey, why not?  Not like anyone else was there to use them!)

Rachel and her Yemenican shadow, Michal, got us warmed up.  Michal is shadowing classes at the moment and the time when I have to call her Coach Michal may not be too far down the road.  (Note: I would feel really weird if I ever had to call Cline by the name "Coach Cline".  Would I attend his class pretty much everyday?  Sure.  But "Coach Cline" would still sound strange to me.)  They walked us through proper technique while doing toes-to-bar.  We got in a few reps on both the overhead squat and the KB swing.  Didn't do any buddy carry practice, but I don't think either of us were eager to do more of that than the workout required.  It was another hot day and this WOD would have been draining if we were doing it on an April day in Edmonton.  (Never been, but I'm sure it's quite a bit cooler than a July evening in Bridgeport.)

No point in standing around any longer.  Time to get to work.  Cline led things off on the toes-to-bar with 5 reps.  I did 5 myself before Cline finished off our last 5 reps.  At the barbell, I took care of the first 10 overhead squats, then gave way to Cline as he wrapped up the final 5 reps.  On to the KB swings.  I didn't have a lot of faith in my ability to do big sets with the 70 pound KB.  As a result, I started off with a measly 5 reps.  Cline stepped up and did 7 reps in his set.  Feeling wimpy about only doing 5 swings (this was still round one...step it up a little Dave!), I managed to hang on for 8 swings in my next set, getting us to 20 reps.  Just as I did 3 reps more on my second set, Cline did the same, completing 10 reps this time around, getting us to 30.

There are plenty of things that we do at Crossfit that probably look crazy to the non-Crossfit world.  I'm not sure anything looks more strange than seeing one grown man speed-walking with another grown man draped over his shoulders.  You'll have to poll the folks at Frosty Falls who watched this spectacle on Tuesday evening.  I decided to use a fireman's carry for my first trip over to the 200 meter turnaround point.  With Cline along for the ride, I walked as quickly as possible to the exchange point.  When we got there, we took a small break before Cline used the fireman's carry on me.  We got about halfway back when Cline wanted to put me down.  He didn't feel comfortable with the fireman's carry and wanted me to go piggy back instead.  Once he was ready to go again, I jumped up on to his back.  Except right as went to jump up, he went lower than I expected him to go. As a result, I was really high on his back.  I didn't want to compound the problem by leaning over him, so I rode very upright, like a jockey riding a racehorse after losing his irons.  (A couple days later, Tia would let me know how ridiculous I looked being in this position.)  Not only was this awkward looking, it actually required a lot of exertion on my part to stay in this position.  So as we neared the end of Cline's carry, I resorted to the more natural position of hugging around his neck.

It didn't appear that Cline was taking a straight line to the gym doors, so I got worried that he might be fatiguing.  In fact, he did ask to put me down one more time before we got back to the gym.  It wasn't because he was tired though.  Cline has a tradition of jumping over the concrete barrier each time we go out for a run.  Just because he had a large idiot on his back didn't mean that he was changing his routine.  Cline asked me to hop off directly in front of the barrier.  Then I climbed back aboard.  Cline carefully hurdled one leg over the barrier, then the other.  A few steps later and we were finally done with round one.  Twenty five minutes of this stuff was going to suck.

The second round inside the gym was a bit of a blur.  I know we alternated sets of toes-to-bar, but the sets were smaller (maybe 3 at a time?).  I know I did most of the overheads and Cline did most of the KB swings.  I know we went much slower than we had in round 1.  Before I knew it, we were headed back out the door to do the buddy carry again.  I decided to try another round of the fireman's carry.  As I passed the annex, Cline asked if I could put him down.  That was strange.  Usually the person doing the work would request a stop.  As I let Cline down, he let me know that the bouncing I was doing as I walked along had knocked the breath out of him.  I was so focused on getting to the exchange point that I had forgotten what a bumbling animal I was and how that would affect my passenger.  In order to save Cline from that experience going forward, I told him that I would use a piggy back as well.  This wasn't as efficient as the fireman's carry, but you feel a little better about the fact that you're not going to drop your precious cargo.  As a result, I was able to jog the rest of my leg.  On the way back, Cline carried me via piggy back, stopping once at the mid-way point and once right before the barrier that he would hurdle over again.

I was exhausted when we came into the gym for round three.  I did a set of three toes-to-bar to get us going, but when I went to do my second set, I did one rep, then failed on a rep.  Cline saw I was hurting and told me to get ready for overheads as he would finish off the toes-to-bar.  Fair enough.  When Cline got through his 15th rep, I picked up my barbell and told myself that I needed to fight through a big set to make up for my toes-to-bar ineptitude.  I held on through 9 reps before needing to drop the barbell.  Cline came up and did 2 reps, leaving me with the final 4 reps.  Those didn't feel great, but I got through them.  Cline led us off on the KB swings and did 5 reps.  I did 5 reps during my set, but unfortunate grunting was required.  As Cline did another set of 5, I realized that trading sets of 5 reps back and forth would result in me being the last one on the KB, which would screw up how we worked out the buddy carries.  We were at about the 20 minute mark, so I knew this was probably our last set of KB swings.  When Cline got us to 15 reps, I picked up my KB and decided to make a push to get us to 25.  By the second rep of my set, there was very loud grunting.  It took all the strength I could muster to swing the 70 pound KB over my head and keep control of it.  Every rep I did was unpleasant, but I was able to keep it together for 10 consecutive reps.  Thank God I was done with that for the day.  I got a quick breather as Cline finished off the last of our 30 reps.  Then it was time for one last buddy carry.

I didn't mess around with the fireman's carry in round three.  I went straight for the piggy back.  I let Cline know early on that I would need to put him down once I got to the bottom of the hill by the annex.  I took a break, then carried Cline the rest of the way to the turnaround point.  Cline stuck to his guns, bringing me about halfway before needing to put me down, then dropping me off right before the barrier.  I knew we were closing in on the 25 minute cap as Cline carefully got over the barrier and brought his teammate back to the gym entrance.

There was just enough time to get the toes-to-bar done and possibly some overheads.  Well, if I hadn't fallen apart there would have been enough time for that.  Cline and I started trading singles on the toes-to-bar, until I was just too tired to keep up.  I had a bad no rep along the way and he ended up doing several in a row before I could contribute again.  I was able to help out with two reps at the end as we finished off the toes-to-bar just as time expired.  Final score: 3+15.

We didn't have a team name at that point in time, but Michal unintentionally provided it when she informed me that her favorite part of the workout was hearing the "kettlebell mating call" I was bellowing out during that final round of KB swings.  That might be the nicest way anyone has described my exhausted grunting, so I decided to run with it and use it as our team name.

Wednesday preview: Cline sorta ends up as my teammate again, even though we're doing an individual WOD.  Neil joins in the fun as well.