Angry Racist Eyebrows

Workout date: 3/25/16

I'll have a recap of my own performance in the Open at the end of this blog post, but I don't think it is any secret that I was glad that 16.5 was marking the end of the event.  Truthfully, I've never performed very well during the Open and I'm not sure I can make the claim that I performed all that well this year.  Did I do better than the first two years that I competed?  Yes.  Did I meet my goals for the Open?  Yes and no.  Were there opportunities for me to do much better than I did?  Absolutely, and that is always the most frustrating part for me.

Before we get there though, let's talk about the final Friday Night Lights of 2016.  As I always do, I completely whiffed on my prediction for what the last Open workout would be.  I thought there was no way that we'd go the entire Open without ring muscle-ups, but I was wrong.  (Apparently bar muscle-up satiated Dave Castro enough that we didn't have to deal with the rings this year.)  I thought there was no way that we'd have a repeat workout like we've had in all other Opens, because a repeat workout would mean that we would be repeating a movement we had already done.  (Are you awesome at barbell-facing burpees?  Then the 2016 Open was a good one for you!)  I thought the final workout would include some heavy lifting, because Crossfit HQ was parading out three of the strongest dudes in the sport and bringing them to an iconic location.  This was going to be epic.  They weren't just going to have these guys do light thrusters and burpees.  (They were just going to have these guys do light thrusters and burpees.)

16.5 was 14.5.  And for those who weren't around for 14.5, this is how it goes:

Open Workout 16.5
For time:
21-18-15-12-9-6-3
Thrusters (95/65)
Barbell-facing burpees

I will say this much: I love the new tradition that the last workout is for time.  To complete the Open, you have to finish all of the work that is presented to you in the final workout.  There is no time cap to save you.  You have to earn that merit badge.  I also enjoy this style of workout because you get to cheer on so many more people.  When everyone is in the same heat, it is tough to root for more than one person.  If you're judging during the heat, it's pretty much impossible.  But when everyone is finishing at different points in the same heat, you can bounce from one person to the next, helping them complete the workout.  Or in this case, helping them reach that euphoric moment when they know they've completed the Open.  I had the honor of serving as a judge for four people and still had the opportunity to cheer many others as they wrapped up their Open.

16.5 was a rare occurrence where I wanted to go early and get the workout over with.  I probably mentally checked out on the Open a week ago, so I wasn't nervous about the workout (probably a positive development) and didn't procrastinate like I normally do.  The first heat had just filled up when I got to the gym and there was only one spot left in heat two.  The only problem?  Heat two was filled with the rock stars in the gym: Aimee, Keith, Gordy, Clay.  I was going to get trounced if I signed up for that heat.  Typically I'd opt for another heat, but again, I was in "just get it done" mode. I took the last spot in heat two and began warming up.

The plan was to relax before my heat, but I got an offer I could not refuse.  Jill C had returned to KOP to do 16.5 and asked me to be her judge.  Jill now works out at Crossfit Fairmount, which is a very sad development as she was one of my first Crossfit friends at KOP and now I rarely see her.  There was no way I could say not to being her judge.

You want some of this, 16.5?  Didn't think so!

Look at that outfit!  How could I not miss Jill?  She's one of a kind.  And she kicked some butt on this workout.  Before she began, she let me know that she was going to try and get 11 thrusters in her first set.  She got to 11 and didn't put down the barbell.  She got to 15 and didn't put down the barbell.  She got to 21 and didn't put down the barbell.  Okay, she did put down the barbell at that point, but only because the workout required it.  She steamrolled through the first two rounds, then casually walked over to her water and grabbed a drink.  She would do this a couple more times during the workout, but she seemed incredibly calm throughout a workout that left many people destroyed.  Jill's final time of 16:56 was way faster than I was planning on going.  And it was now my turn to go.

I remember doing this workout two years ago and thinking "hey, maybe I can string all of the thrusters!"  I actually strung all 21 in the first round, then promptly fell apart the rest of the way.  I tried to crawl through the burpees, but I couldn't even manage that, needing to stop and rest many times through the middle rounds of the workout.  My final time that day: 23:26.  I didn't want to replicate that performance, but watching Jill knock out 21 in a row during her heat got me thinking I might be able to gut it out through each of the thruster rounds.  At the very least I should be able to get through the first 21.  When it came to the burpees, I was going to keep moving even if I was crawling.  I couldn't afford to take breaks during the burpees like I had in 2014.  If I could handle that, then maybe I could crack 20 minutes, which was the goal I set for myself in this workout.  JNa came over to be my judge and I let her know that I was really hoping to stay under 20 minutes.  Fingers crossed!  3-2-1-and I was off.

I began doing the thrusters and got about 8-9 reps in when I started noticing they were heavier than I remembered.  It seemed foolish to hold on for 21 reps and kill myself like I did two years ago.  So I called an audible and dropped the barbell after 12 reps.  I took a short rest, picked up the barbell and finished the final 9 reps.  I think this was the smart way to go.  Unfortunately, I took breaking up sets to the extreme later on in the workout.  There isn't too much to say about the burpees except to say that I met my goal of staying constantly in motion during that part of the workout.  It might have been slow movement, but I never stopped for a break during the burpees at any point of 16.5.  There were plenty of breaks during the thrusters.  In the round of 18, I wimped out and went 6-4-4-4 (should have done 6-6-6).  In the round of 15, I went 6-5-4.  The round of 12 should have been done six and six, but I went 4-4-4 instead.  The round of 9 was broken up into 5 and 4.  I strung all of my reps in the round of six and the round of three.  I count at least two extra breaks in there that could have been avoided had I shown any willpower.  The result?  A final time of 20:15, just missing my goal of staying under 20 minutes.  Super frustrating to get to the end and find out that I was close to my goal and failed yet again, but that seems to be what I do in any sort of competitive setting.  On the bright side, it was a 3:11 improvement on my time from 2014, so it was hard to be upset for too long.

I may have accidentally signed my name on the gym floor after the workout

My 2016 Open was complete!  Time to party!  Well, not exactly.  Another reason why I wanted to get done early was so I could relax and cheer on the rest of the gym as they completed 16.5.  Anyone need a judge?  Dave is here to help!  Danielle had asked me to be her judge before I did my heat and I told her that she would need to remind me after I was done as I might be a little groggy post-WOD.  She was in the heat right after mine, so once I had gotten some water in my system, I grabbed a clipboard and headed over to the spot Danielle had picked out.

Danielle has been at the gym less than a year, so this was her first Open.  I got to be her judge for 16.1 and she did a really good job there, even though she had her doubts.  I immediately scoffed when she said she wasn't sure she could finish this workout.  This WOD is definitely intimidating and watching the fallout from the earlier heats doesn't help in the inspiration department, but if you're mentally tough (like Danielle is), you'll get through it fine.  I tried to be as encouraging as possible as Danielle made her way through the workout, pushing her along at points where I thought she could make up time.  As she got to the round of three, it looked like she was going to beat my time.  She did the three thrusters and we all yelled at her to sprint through the burpees.  Three burpees later, she hopped over the barbell, stopping the clock at 20:14.  She had beaten me by a second.  Competitive Dave was nowhere to be found.  Instead, I had a huge smile on my face.  It was really cool to see Danielle do so well on a workout that she thought she wouldn't even finish.

Danielle definitely deserved a high five after her 16.5 performance

I took a break from judging during the next heat, but Michal asked me to be her judge in the following heat.  I know she had some concerns about the weight for the thrusters, but every time I work out with her, I notice that she seems to be stronger and stronger.  There was no doubt in my mind that she could handle 84 thrusters at 65 pounds.  As for the burpees, she was definitely going to crush those.  As I had done with Danielle, I tried to serve as more than just a counter for Michal.  There were definitely points in this workout where you could make up time (wish I had given myself this speech prior to my workout) and Michal is so determined that I knew if I told her to hold on to the barbell, she would do it.  She went 7-7-7, 6-6-6, 5-5-5, 6-6, 5-4, 6, and 3 for her rounds of thrusters, even though holding on for six reps in those later rounds was hard work.  For the burpees, she was full of energy, although she was so eager to get back over the barbell that she had to be reminded about jumping over with two feet.  A strong push at the end kept her under 20 minutes, finishing in a time of 19:21.

Michal's hair turning in another Hall of Fame performance

There was one heat left and it was only fitting that I would be Rachel's judge for it.  I've mentioned several times on this blog that Rachel and I first met when I was her judge for 14.5.  Now we'd get to celebrate the two-year anniversary of Rachel calling me out for lying to her about how well she was doing (it wasn't a lie!).  If you think I'm joking about that, you should know that we had the same interaction before the workout even began this time.  I told Rachel that I didn't want her looking at the clock during the workout.  She was vehement about the fact that she wanted to break 14 minutes and scolded me that I better not lie to her if she was behind the pace she needed.  Since Rachel can break me in two, I chose to comply with her edict.

16.5 was a workout that favored the shorter athletes in the gym and Rachel is not a shorter athlete.  But I've explained my theory that "the Viking" turns her game up to another level when Open season is upon us and that was never more evident than in her performance in this workout.  I don't recall exactly how she broke up her thrusters in later rounds (she strung the first 21), mainly because I was too caught up in how fast she was going.  When she completed her round of 15, she shot me a look that seemed to be asking "will I make it under 14 minutes?"  I let her know that she was on pace for a time of 12:30 (completely true, no reason to risk my life).  In the round of 12, she finally began to slow down on her burpees, but she never came to a stop.  As she sprinted through the end of the workout, it was clear that 14 minutes was going to be a piece of cake for her.  Rachel's final time: 13:29.  Compare that to her time in 2014 of 22:21.  She improved her time by nearly 9 minutes!  Don't know what to say other than that was one crazy impressive performance.

Would you lie to this woman about her pace?  Didn't think so.

Rachel was the first one done in the final heat, which meant I got to run around and cheer on everyone who was closing out Friday Night Lights.  When Stasie jumped over her barbell for the 84th time, the 2016 Open was, for all intents and purposes, finito.  Time to party!  Okay, maybe I still wasn't there yet.  I grabbed my laptop and began recording all of the 16.5 times for KOP's team competition.  And while I was doing that, I got a totally unexpected surprise from the Muffins.  Doctor Coach Sommelier VP Giulz wasn't there as she was home sick, but Michal and Rachel presented me with gifts of pie, ice cream, and beer.  (Jesus totally got hosed by the Three Wise Men.)  They also presented me with a sympathy card, which was not for my performance in the Open, but for the loss of Indy.  16.5 had been a nice distraction throughout the day, but these generous gifts made me realize that I still missed her.  It also made me realize how lucky I am to have met people who get me.

Michal, Rachel, and a guy with amazing friends

Once all of the scores were entered into the spreadsheet, I had my first beer.  I had a rusty start when playing Flipcup with some of the folks who had stuck around to drink, but then unexpectedly had some clutch flips to win a few rounds in a row.  (And Ale showed me how to properly dance in celebration of those victories.)  The group eventually moved on to the Tap House (where I learned that I have "angry racist eyebrows") before the evening concluded with some late night breakfast at Andy's Diner.  I made it home at quarter after four in the morning.  It was a long day, but a very enjoyable one.

Now trending on Twitter!  (Yes, I know this pic was sent on Snapchat)

Let's wrap up the 2016 Open, shall we?  I had two goals in mind at the start.  One was to have three good workouts out of five.  Not sure I met that one.  16.1 was a good workout for me as chest-to-bar pull-ups have been my downfall the last two years in the Open.  Getting 43 of them in a WOD was a huge breakthrough for me.  16.2 was a push.  Glad I made it to round 2 when I redid the workout, but it was disappointing that my body fell apart and that I did very little with the extra four minutes I earned.  16.3 was where I failed at bar muscle-ups.  16.4 was where I was depressed and didn't care.  And in 16.5, I missed my goal by 15 seconds, although I did over 3 minutes better than in 2014.  I'd call that one a push as well.  Looks like 1 good workout, 2 pushes, and 2 bad workouts.

Another goal was to finish among the top 35 individuals in the gym during our team competition.  I finished 33rd, so I accomplished that goal, even if it was aided by people skipping workouts late in the Open.  To be fair, I could have skipped 16.4, but I went through with it anyway.  I might have finished lower had people not skipped workouts, but I might have finished higher if my mind was in the right place, especially on 16.4.  I think that balances out, so I'm going to say I missed on one goal and made it on the other.

As for a raw statistical comparison of my three years in the Open, here you go:

2014 - 65,010 out of 80,284 (top 81.0%)

2015 - 60,546 out of 153,272 (top 39.5%)

2016 - 63,292 out of 178,509 (top 35.5%)

I did say 60,000+ guys would beat me.  At least I got one prediction right during the Open!

Monday preview: Saturday would be a rest day and the gym was closed on Easter Sunday, so my next workout would take place on Monday.  Get ready for a triplet of farmer's carries, walking lunges, and wall walks.