Last year Cline mentioned that he was doing this tour de force across the city of Philadelphia on St. Paddy's Day. It involved lots of running, but lots of drinking as well. 7 stops for adult beverages with 11 miles of running along the way. Sounded a little daunting, but like a lot of fun as well. Unfortunately, I couldn't take part in it due to a work conflict. This year Cline gave us plenty of notice to get our acts together in time for this event. And I couldn't come up with even a mildly good reason to miss the event this year. So I decided to head out on my first ever non-KOP Cline event along with Alison. The following is what I can recall from the day. Any important moments not chronicled here are missing due to intoxication, exhaustion, or the fact that my brain is actively repressing a memory.
Let's start on March 16th. It is pretty rare that I go shopping, but I felt the need to stop by the mall and grab some attire for the big day. Cline is always making a fashion statement at the gym (opinions vary on what that statement is) and I expected that his cohorts would be doing the same. I couldn't wear a typical St. Paddy's Day outfit. I needed something different. I decided to come up with an outfit that I felt had the right mix of classy and not classy. Classy: a green fedora. Not only would it add a bit of sophistication to my outfit, it would also protect the dome during a long day of running in the sun. Not classy: a shirt with a large finger pointing at the viewer with the proclamation "You look like I could use a beer", complete with a bottle opener sewn into the bottom of the shirt. Yeah, that was the right mix for me. Or at least I thought it was. When Alison met us at the Art Museum the next morning, she was on a bedazzling kick. The amount of glitter on my face increased as the day went on and the result was...
I am very happy in this photo because I have to run no more
Also part of the wardrobe: cargo shorts to hold all of my crap, including a second shirt since I assumed I would be drenched in sweat by the end of the run.
I took a train to 30th St. Station and waited for Cline's train to arrive. When he got there, I got to meet two of his friends: Crafty and Cleary. "Hi, I'm Dave!" Shit, why wasn't I prepared with a cool name? I should have known Cline's friends would all have cool names. I showed up with...Dave? Fail! We met a few other folks at 30th St. before heading out on the walk to the Art Museum. When I got there, I met a few other people in the ever-expanding group. Then Alison showed up and we got the day started with some Irish coffees. Would it have been better to start with some stretching? In hindsight, yes. But instead of getting my legs ready for 11 miles of running, I decided to get my liver ready for many hours of drinking. Oops.
As the size of the group swelled, I began to worry about how smoothly this little adventure would go. It sounded like it had gone off without a hitch in the past. You pay your fee for the day to someone who is in charge of getting a head count for the group. You let them know whether you want a Guinness or a cider when you get to the bar. And when you get there, majestically lined up on the bar will be all of the beverages that you ordered. That sounded fantastic, especially on St. Paddy's Day when bars were likely to be crowded. Add in that it was the first day of March Madness and getting a drink anywhere could be difficult. But after we departed the Art Museum and went on our first 1.75 mile run to the City Tap House, we arrived to this sight for sore legs:
Refreshments at City Tap House
That first leg was tougher than I expected, especially since the sun emerged from the clouds while we were making the trek. Not pictured above were all of the glasses of water that the group needed. One hand for beer, one hand for water. It was going to be a long day and hydrating was important. Well at least until you got drunk enough that you completely forgot about hydration.
With one pint down, it was time to head back to the city. But first we needed to take a lap around Franklin Field. Our rowdy group ran through the Penn campus, startling the sober students walking to class. It was fantastic. A group of older people showing the college kids how to be drunk and crazy? Take notes son. The glory was short-lived though as our arrival at the Franklin Field gate was stopped by a security guard who informed us that he wasn't letting us in. BOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Seemingly defeated, the crew did an about-face and began running around the perimeter of the stadium, in the direction of the city. However, when we got to the other side of the field, there was a gate open. The runners at the head of the group began pleading with the gentleman stationed there to let us run a lap around the field. The employee eventually decided that we were a bunch of harmless dopes and let us storm the stadium. Victory!
Alison decided that she would wait for me rather than do a lap. I had never been inside Franklin Field before. Apparently I wasn't good enough at track in high school to be included on the team that got to go to Penn Relays. But I had heard a lot about the place and it was cool getting to experience this venue in a "hope we don't get arrested" way. I took video as I did my lap, slapped high-fives to those in our group who ran clockwise around the track, and finally posed as Alison snapped a photo of me heading to the tunnel to exit the stadium:
Take that, security guy at the other gate!
From there, it was on to Slainte. Alison and I were at the tail end of the group, mainly because my pace had slowed. But there was another very cool moment ahead as a large part of the group was waiting on us stragglers outside of the bar. They had formed a huge welcoming lane for us. As we came down the block towards them, one of them perfectly tossed a frisbee at us. Oh no! Cline's people were frisbee pros. I couldn't mess this up or I'd certainly be facing ridicule the rest of the day. Don't drop the bee, Dave! I ran towards the frisbee and caught it. Then I had a mildly respectable toss down the line back to the person who threw me the frisbee which drew some cheers. Passed my first major test of the day!
After finishing a pint at Slainte, it was on to Fado. Except the run to Fado included a lap and a half around Rittenhouse Square. As we neared Rittenhouse Square, I began to hurt. I hadn't trained for this run and I stupidly hadn't stretched at the beginning. Now I was paying the price. Alison stayed true to her distaste for doing laps, letting me know she'd wait for me where the lap and a half ended. From there, it was a couple of blocks to Fado, where the group of runners were awaiting us again outside the bar (no frisbee challenge this time). We had just gotten our pints when Cline let Alison and I know that we needed to finish them quickly if we wanted to join him on an unofficial detour in the run (shots at Good Dog). We did our best to polish off our glasses expediently, although we did linger around to chat with a bouncer who initially seemed to hate us when we arrived.
The run to Good Dog was only about a block, but even that hurt. I had no idea how I was going to complete this run. At Good Dog, the one shot ended up being two shots and a non-Guinness stout. And the shots were of the heavy pour variety:
Shots, shots, shots!
The rest of the group had moved on to Paddy Whack's and the five of us who had gone on the detour were behind schedule. Five was an unfortunate number because taxis are not allowed to have five passengers at a time. Luckily for us, there was a magic carpet floating through Center City at that moment. The five of us hitched a ride on it and we were back together with the main group in no time. (Seriously, that's what happened. Why are you doubting this?)
Another pint down and it was time to get running again. Oh boy. This time we were headed to the Plough and the Stars. I slowly trotted along as the group got farther and farther away from me. And then I got to the point where I needed to walk. I was in a lot of pain as my hips were completely shot at this point. I did stumble upon a bit of luck though as the group was stopping at the Irish Memorial for a moment of silence along the way. I was able to catch up to them there. It wasn't a long way from there to the Plough and the Stars, so I managed to jog to my next beer.
We were at that location for a little longer than some of the previous spots mainly because it was a packed house in there. Calling ahead and having our beers ready helped, but it was still a mob scene trying to get to the beers. I got to watch the end of the first March Madness game while we were there. This was also the only spot along the way where we heard live music. As I finished off my Guinness, I heard we were on the move again. Just two more stops to go. You can handle that, right Dave?
Headed to Bourbon and Branch. Standing upright was difficult at that moment.
I didn't make it very far on the run to Bourbon and Branch before I needed to start "power walking" again. Alison stayed with me despite the fact that we had now lost the group. In fact, we got a little bit turned around on the way to Bourbon and Branch even though it was almost a straight shot up from Plough and the Stars. Directions are hard when you're wobbly. There was discussion of car bombs at Bourbon and Branch, but thankfully that didn't happen. After finishing yet another Guinness, it was time to head to Kelliann's, our final destination.
Ok, maybe not our final destination. I'm not sure if I even did any token running before walking again on the ultimate leg. However, being separated from the group worked out in our favor, as Alison spotted a cheesesteak place along the way. There had been talk of food waiting for us at Kelliann's, but Alison and I couldn't pass up this opportunity. We dropped in, placed an order, and inhaled half of a cheesesteak each. Easily one of the best decisions of the day. With our bellies content, we continued our walk down Spring Garden St. until we came to Kelliann's. The reception was not as warm as it had been at Slainte and Fado ("You guys are walking? Really? It's the last leg!"), but we were still excited to be done. We grabbed some more food from the buffet set up at the back of the bar and one last cold one. It may not have been pretty, but we made it to the finish line.
Happy Cline, Severely-in-pain Dave, Happy Alison
It really was a great time, but next year I am going to make sure I do some running in advance of this outing. Oh, and lots and lots of stretching!
Aftermath. Ummm, I mean, preview: It took a full day to recover, so I didn't make it to Friday Night Lights at the gym for 16.4. I didn't work out on Saturday because I had my dentist appointment in the city. And you all know how Saturday night ended. I had no interest in working out on Sunday and if I didn't have to complete 16.4 by 8pm on Monday, I would have skipped going to the gym Monday night. But I didn't want to miss an Open workout, so I came in for that. My next post will cover how 16.4 went down.
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