We Didn't Flip The Tire

Sunday marked the debut of the Bridgeport Barbell Classic, the first ever weightlifting meet held by the Bridgeport Barbell Club.  It was an exciting event with a tremendous turnout.  Eight members of the KOP family competed and all eight did very well.

There's just one thing: it was long.  Like really long.  As in 13 hours long.

Now I've been known to ramble on and on in some of these blog posts, but writing a post covering 13 hours at a weightlifting meet seemed excessive.  As I thought more and more about all of the items I would need to cover in such a post, it struck me that I was starting to mimic a certain song.  Suddenly I was channeling my inner Weird Al Yankovic.  Probably because I'm...

Could I put together a song that covered all 13 hours of Sunday's event?  You decide.

In the spirit of Billy Joel, I give you "We Didn't Flip The Tire":

(For those interested in trying to match it up with the actual music from the song, use the following link and start around 33 seconds.)

Sunday morning, early hour
Slow moving, long shower
Break of dawn, mid-yawn, need to find some grub
Volunteer, not gettin paid
First session, gettin weighed
Steph V, Jim C, Bridgeport Barbell Club

<Instrumental - 6 seconds>

Half the gym, filled with boards
Scott and his vocal chords
Lifting order no surprise, first the girls and then the guys
KOPer, anthem sung
First lifter, very young
No fears, drawing cheers, perfect after two tries

We didn't flip the tire
Said the hell with Crossfit
We just like to lift shit
We didn't flip the tire
Don't know why you're WODing
Should be heavy squatting

Loaders sitting on the side
Shawna, she won't be denied
Never budging, Giulz is judging, staring at the floor
Laura, Christine, six for six
Samson taking lots of pics
Lots of bags, filled with swag, for the highest score

Denise, Barb, Kevin G.
Keithie, Jill, and Marci
Coaching help, Gene's the man
There's no lack of helping hands

Donuts, yeah they cost a buck
Aimee Lyons yelling fuck
Getting calls, Frosty Falls, gotta move the food truck

We didn't flip the tire
Said the hell with Crossfit
We just like to lift shit
We didn't flip the tire
Don't know why you're WODing
Should be heavy squatting

Second session, novice girls
No one is reversing curls
Squat cleans always caught
Nearing noon, it's getting hot
Marisa Baumann, new PRs
Attention people, move your cars
Angry lady, parking lot
Run for cover, might get shot

Session finished, grabbed some lunch
Gone an hour, missed a bunch
Open ladies, session three
Sarah, Kate, and Leslie
Jason Lyons in the crowd
Starting to get very loud
Timers that need to pee
Gotta move and set them free

We didn't flip the tire
Said the hell with Crossfit
We just like to lift shit
We didn't flip the tire
Don't know why you're WODing
Should be heavy squatting

Michal with a big red plate
That's not right, you'll have to wait
New loaders at the reins
Rachel, Tom, Shawn, and Shane

Hoping for paddles white
Two of three, you did it right
Guys want to show their gainz
Judging by Miranda Haines

Stalling tactics, stop the clock
One more kilo, what a shock
Jenna K, Intern Ray, Luke represents P-A

We didn't flip the tire
Said the hell with Crossfit
We just like to lift shit
We didn't flip the tire
Don't know why you're WODing
Should be heavy squatting

Novice dudes are finally gone
Dana, Sarah, Josh, and John
Awards time, need the scores
KOPer, dropped her drawers

Announcers giving sponsors thanks
Weights slam on wooden planks
Singlets, no compression shorts
Need new outfits for these sports

Chipwich and Haagen Dazs
No P around, no Frosty Paws
Evening neared, Faby appeared
Lifting with his ginger beard

Keithie lost a lot of pounds
This would be his proving grounds
Failed the snatch, though he tried
Huge clean and jerk, he qualified

We didn't flip the tire...

(Writing lyrics to a song was much harder than expected.  Oops.  Apologies to anyone I forgot to include in the song.)