The Super Long Introductory Post Filled With Bullet Points

Why have I decided to create a Crossfit blog for 2015?  Well there are many reasons actually...

• To track my progress.  I used to track all of my Crossfit workouts religiously and then I stopped.  This blog will give me a new reason to track my workouts once again.  It will also detail what I was thinking before the workout (looks easy!) and after I've completed it (what the hell was I smoking?).
• To hold myself accountable.  I mean, I don't think Google will shut down my blog if I don't follow through on the goals I set for myself, but at least if I'm throwing myself a pity party a few months from now, I can look back at this and go "oh yeah, I need to get my act together and get moving".
• To do more than list my PRs.  This blog will be filled with highs and lows.  Probably mostly lows if I'm being honest.  But when you make your way through a lot of lows, the highs are that much sweeter.
• To save the people who aren't interested in my Crossfit life from having to read about it non-stop on my Facebook profile.  I did something similar last year when I started using my Twitter account to detail my handicapping "career".  (If that is of any interest to you, my screen name is @GamblingActuary.)
• To satisfy my need to write.  One of my favorite jobs ever was writing for the fledgling City Atlantic magazine about 10 years ago.  I wrote tiny little comedy articles that were probably only read by drunk dudes playing keno or people in the train station waiting for the 4:30am NJ Transit back to Philly.  But it was fun.  Nowadays, I really only get to satisfy my craving to write each March when I run my March Madness pool.  The poor, but loyal souls who sign up year after year have to endure pages and pages of rambling about the games when all they really want is to know who is ahead in the pool standings.  God bless them.
• To please my inner attention whore.  I'm sure she is in there somewhere.
• And last but not least, to have those people, who may be going through the same struggles I will be going through, stop for a second and say "yeah, I can relate to that", smile, and keep pushing forward.

So where am I right at this moment?  Time for the tale of the tape:

• Age - 36 (But appear old enough to be someone's grandfather, so I got that going for me.)
• Weight - 213.8 (Let's hope I did not have the scale on kg when I stepped on it this morning.)
• Height - 5'11" (When I was in high school, I went to get a physical and the doctor told me I was 6 feet tall.  I stuck with that until last year, when I was emphatically told that there was no way I was 6 feet tall.  I probably have shrunk.)

Aging poorly, getting fatter, but shrinking in size.  Woohoo!  That's called the trifecta for those of you who aren't into horse racing.

I started Crossfit 22 months ago, and as anyone who loves Crossfit will tell you, it has been a life changer.  I knew pretty early on that I was never meant to play for the Lakers, but it is fun being an athlete again.  I train at Crossfit KOP in Bridgeport, PA.  Within that gym are the craziest, most supportive group of folks I've ever met.  Generally the best part of my day is being there, despite the fact that I may be about to undergo some form of physical torture.  I have managed to do many things I never thought I would be able to do, but there are still many more things that I have yet to accomplish there.  Hopefully we'll be scratching a bunch of those off the list in future blog postings.

Now my list of current PRs may be a bit outdated, as I mentioned in the beginning that I stopped tracking results for quite a while, but here's what I have written down:

• Deadlift - 385
• Press - 145
• Front Squat - 260
• Back Squat - 270 (it has been a while since I tested this and suspect it may be closer to 285)
• Power Clean - 205
• Squat Clean - 215
• Split Jerk - 205
• Snatch - 175
• Squat Clean Thruster - 185
• Bench Press - 210
• Dumbbell Snatch - 95 (Right Arm), 90 (Left Arm)
• 500M Row - 1:40.7
• 2000M Row - 7:59.0
• Grace - 5:38
• Fight Gone Bad - 256

(If there is anything missing that I remember later on, I'll add it to the list)

My major weaknesses include:

• Pull-ups - Ohhh, I hate me some pull-ups.  My arms are not that big, certainly not big enough to be yanking 213.8 pounds up and over some bar time and time again.  So part of the battle is probably losing weight with the rest being that I need to grow some big boy muscles.
• Double unders - Also ranking high on the hate scale.  Jumping rope simply does not feel natural to me.  Double unders are a movement that doesn't strike me as impossible to do, but I cannot get the rhythm down for the life of me.
• Handstand push-ups - Now this is something I don't mind.  Getting upside down also did not feel natural to me originally, but it has begun to feel more natural as I've done it more.  I currently can comfortably do these with 2 abmats, but when I go down to 1, I start thinking "why hasn't my head hit the abmat yet?", followed by me just dropping so my head touches it, and then having no ability to push back up.
• Muscle-ups - Hahahahahahaha...yeah right.  Next!
• Lungs - When I feel like I can't breathe, I stop to take a break.  And that break ends up being 5 times longer than I think it is when I'm hunched over or squatting down sucking wind.  Focusing on my breathing during workouts has been a huge help, but I need to build up my lungs so that I can finish workouts without major breaks.
• Mind - Without fail, when a workout has 4 rounds, the 3rd round is by far the slowest.  Why?  Because the 1st round I am fresh, the 2nd round I'm not totally wiped out, and in the last round I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  The 3rd round is that magical place where I'm tired but want to save some energy so that I do not fail in the last round.  After all, what's more impressive than having that final push to end a workout?  Well, probably finishing the workout before the time cap, but I digress...
• Aggression - I am not an aggressive person, but there are certainly huge benefits from being aggressive at the gym.  I envy people who can channel their intensity into kicking butt in a workout, because I am definitely not there.
• Confidence - I have very low self-esteem.  Again, I am blessed to be working out with so many good-hearted folks that see me in a different light than I see myself, but it is difficult to bring out the best in yourself when you lack confidence.

It's January 1st, so I'm supposed to have resolutions or something, right?  Well truthfully, I don't really even have a list of goals this year.  I mean, it would be nice to deadlift 400 or squat 300.  It would be great to knock out some strict handstand push-ups like it was no big deal.  But being the degenerate gambler that I am, I tend to focus on big, lofty goals that have a fairly high percentage of not coming to fruition.  Go big or go home.  So the goal for 2015 is a simple one: get on the white board.

At Crossfit KOP, there is a giant white board that lists various movements/workouts and the top 3 male/female performances.  Now if I'm being honest, there are really very few categories that I have even a remote chance of getting on the white board for, but there are a couple that I could envision myself challenging if I work hard enough.  365 days to get the name "Dave" up there for the first time.

Ok, that's it for today.  I promise most blog posts won't be this long, but when you're trying to set the stage for dramatic triumph (or epic failure), you need to provide a lot of background.  Time to start working!