I hate writing posts like this one. I mean, I guess what I hate even more is having workouts like the one I had last night. Workouts that expose my glaring weaknesses. And me being me, I have to make sure that it's a packed house when I fail most spectacularly. If there is anything that I have gotten better at, it is not writing posts right when I get home from the gym after these debacles. This post will still probably suck, but at least it won't suck as much as I did during last night's WOD.
Here's the workout that kicked my butt:
3 rounds:
10 toes-to-bar
20 overhead squats (95/65)
40 double unders
100 ft overhead walking lunge (45/25)
At first glance, that didn't seem so bad. I was hoping to get through the first round of toes-to-bar quickly, then be mildly competent in rounds 2 and 3. If you've read this blog, you already know how much I love overhead squats. The back half of each round would be tougher, as my double unders are shaky when I'm fresh and can be a disaster when I'm tired (wait for it...). The overhead walking lunge was the wildcard in the workout. The 45 pound plate we would need to hold overhead during the lunge didn't seem that imposing. I figured that it would be a cardio test more than anything.
Coach Aimee had a talk with us before the workout began and the talk focused on results. She spoke about looking good naked (that ship has sailed). She spoke about focusing on speed during this workout (that ship was about to sink, Titanic-style). More than anything, she wanted us to push ourselves and keep moving during the WOD. I couldn't even manage that.
Usually when I disintegrate during a workout, it ties back to a bad choice I made before the workout even began. I may have chosen a weight that was too heavy for me. I might not have scaled properly in some other way. That was not the issue last night. I can do toes-to-bar and 30 isn't some extremely high amount to do. When I do Nancy, I do 5 sets of 15 overhead squats at 95 pounds unbroken. So 3 sets of 20? Not unreasonable. My largest set of unbroken double unders? 49 in a row. I've been able to put together multiple sets of 20 at times, but tend to do sets of 12-15 reps when I don't lose my cool. So was 3 rounds of 40 reps too much for me to handle? Wouldn't think so. Finally, there was the overhead walking lunge. Due to space constraints, we would do 4 trips of 25 ft. In the warmup, I was able to handle 2 trips without much discomfort. Don't see why I wouldn't be able to handle 3 rounds of 4 trips.
Why wouldn't I be able to do all of this? Because I'm slow and my cardio sucks. Somehow I forgot those details when I was doing my pre-workout analysis. The successes I have had at the gym recently have all been in workouts where I could go heavy or where it was some long slog without a time cap. And to my credit, I managed to turn last night's speed workout into a long slog without a time cap. Go with your strengths, I guess. Let's get into what I remember (rage does not work well with memory) about the workout.
There were 11 of us in class taking up a bit more than half of the gym, while about 20 folks in the Holiday Head Start program were crammed in down at the other end. This workout required a lot of open space and there was little real estate to go around. In fact, we would need a staggered start just so the 11 of us in class could operate without running into one another. Matt B and I would share a barbell and I would lead things off for us. The first heat had 6 people in it and I was hoping to get off to a very good start. And I did, sort of. I wanted to string all 10 toes-to-bar with an efficient kip. I was able to do that. I wanted to squat snatch into my first overhead squat before stringing the next 19 reps as well. I was able to do that. I thought I was off to a fast start.
Except when I grabbed my rope and got ready to start my double unders, I noticed that 3 of the other 5 people in my heat were already jumping rope. I had gone as fast as I could possibly go and yet I was still behind the majority of the people in my heat. It is often said at the gym that you are competing against no one but yourself, but that's not true at all. I'm not sure I know anyone at the gym who only competes against themselves. Most people have someone they are trying to hang with or even beat in workouts. I was hoping to hang with anyone and it was already clear that such a scenario was unlikely to play out. If I was behind while performing at my best, what was going to happen when my performance started to decline?
Didn't have to wait long for that answer! After getting 16 double unders to begin my round, my form on the jump rope began to fade. I had one more set of around 10 reps, but I had several attempts where I only got a couple of reps. Heat two had begun and nearly everyone else in my heat was on to the overhead walking lunge. It felt like everyone was moving fast while I was moving in slow motion. (Contrast this to later on when I actually was moving in slow motion.) It was awkward holding the plate overhead and pivoting into the next 25 ft walk, so I put the plate down each time I finished a leg of the walk. Finally I was done with 4 trips, but I was breathing heavily already and there were still two full rounds to go.
Back at the toes-to-bar, I strung together 5 efficient reps. When I hopped back up to the bar again, I did 2 efficient reps, before holding on for 3 reps of the "come to a dead hang, then swing your feet up to the bar" variety. Not efficient, but it was the best way for me to keep moving. My performance in the next set of overheads probably signaled that I was all done in this workout. Rather than flirt with 20 more overheads in a row, I got 7. Then 6 more. And then the last 7. If I was breaking up the movement I was good at, how could I expect to fare very well at the movements I struggled with? As I headed back to my jump rope, I crossed the chaotic workout area. With both heats going now, people were criss-crossing everywhere, working on all movements. I tried to find an area where I was not going to be in the way as I attempted double unders. As was the case with most of this workout, I was not very successful. Medium-sized sets were now hard to come by. Meanwhile, no one else in class seemed to be slowing down. I gazed around and saw no signs of frustration, only progress. I began to worry that Matt was going to catch up to me, which would have been bad because we were sharing a barbell. At that point, I decided to go outside. I was making little progress with my double unders and things were feeling claustrophobic in our workout area. It was also nice to get some fresh air. While I was out there, I managed two sets of more than 10 reps. I was headed back to the overhead walking lunge.
Unfortunately, walking back inside reminded me how far behind I was. Several people were finishing the workout as I tried to complete my second round. I'm the king of getting lapped in three round workouts. I did the 4 trips the same way I did it in the first round, stopping at each turnaround point to put the plate down. Breathing had become very difficult and I was not enjoying the lunges. With Matt close behind me, I knew I needed to get moving so that I did not hold him up at the barbell. I finally made it back to my bar and did 3 efficient toes-to-bar. I don't recall how I got to 10 from that point, but I imagine I got back to the dead hang reps just to try and finish them off. Matt had stripped the barbell down to 75 pounds, so I needed to add weight back on to the barbell before doing my overhead squats. Rachel helped me out with that. Then she helped set up another barbell for Matt with 75 pounds as he was in the midst of his toes-to-bar already and he would be ready for his overhead squats before I finished mine. I did my best to hang on during the overhead squats, getting 10 reps in my first set. Could only manage 6 in my second set, before taking care of the last 4 reps. Plenty of rest was required between sets.
If I hadn't embarrassed myself up to this point, then my implosion during the final round of double unders sealed the deal. For the most part, I could not string more than 3 reps, with 1-2 reps typically the norm. The rope kept swinging loosely as the right handle would slide down the rope. Each failure resulted in more and more frustration. I kept telling myself to remain calm. This was a skill movement and being angry was only going to make things worse. But there was no way to remain calm through this. I simply could not string reps. Each time the rope hit me, I wanted to scream. After a while, I did scream, usually something of the four-letter variety. Meanwhile, Matt had gotten to his rope and put together a set of what must have been 20 reps or so. The fact that I was the only one struggling made things worse. The fact that the Holiday Head Start class was being held hostage at the other end of the gym because they were waiting on me to finish made me feel incredibly stupid. At one point, I was so mad with my rope that I turned around and whipped either the GHD or the Reverse Hyper machine with it. I felt helpless and completely incompetent.
To use the term "pity circle" would be incorrect. It was a full-blown intervention at this point. I heard many different voices trying to encourage me on and they were greatly appreciated. I wish I could have used that encouragement to finish quicker. At long last, 40 reps were done and I got to my overhead walking lunge. I made an attempt to use my rage productively, trying to lunge as fast as I could. At the end of the first trip, I pivoted and held on to my plate, only to get about halfway back before needing to drop the plate to the floor. From there, I finished trip #2. Another break before trip #3. Then a final break before trying to speed-rage my way to the 100 ft mark. Final time: 29:01.
Lots of folks helped me finish this workout, especially "Megs", seen here
pushing me through the final round of lunges
So that was the positive spin on the evening. Trust me, you wouldn't have wanted to read this if I had written it last night. I took so long during this workout that everyone else had time to put their weights away while I was still working. They put my barbell away as well (hey, look who can't clean up after himself again!). I was so <fill in your favorite negative emotion here> that I took off pretty much immediately after I was done.
What can I take away from this workout? It took me a long time to come up with a semi-positive answer to this question. Not "completing this WOD" long, but close enough. I guess I need to remind myself to not combine my issues outside the gym with my issues inside the gym. I never want to act out the way I did in front of 30+ people last night, but everything boiled over at a certain point. The idea that my best performance isn't all that great and that my worst performance is abysmal is something that resonates with me all too often outside of the gym. Last night's workout felt like deja vu in that sense and it pissed me off. But I can't be adding fuel to the fire. I extended my workout considerably last night mainly because I could not handle my frustrations. That was my biggest failure during the workout.
No preview as I'm not sure what I'll be doing next. My cardio needs a lot of work. As gratifying as it has been to improve on my pull-ups and my back squat, those achievements have been counterbalanced by how much worse I have gotten from a cardio perspective. So that (and double unders) need to become my focus for a while. Since I don't know what will show up in WODs in advance, I don't have a good sense of when I will be back in for my next WOD. But when I do, you'll find a new post waiting here.
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