Girdle Of Pain

Workout date: 10/17/17

Last month, Jenn and I began celebrating 20 years together by taking a long weekend trip to wine country.  That was designed to be a present to her.  My present would come in mid-October.  There are two iconic race tracks in the US when it comes to horse racing.  I grew up next to one of those tracks: Saratoga.  I've been to Saratoga hundreds of times in my life.  The city of Saratoga Springs is my favorite place in the world.  It's not just the race track that puts it at the top of the list (although that is a major contributing factor).  Saratoga also has a national park.  Most of the cross country championships I participated in were held at that park and it became my favorite spot to run.  SPAC (Saratoga Performing Arts Center) was the best place in the area to catch a concert.  There's a lot going on in Saratoga, especially when the weather is nice.

The second iconic race track is called Keeneland and is located in Lexington, Kentucky.  Both Keeneland and Saratoga are only open for six weeks each year.  Saratoga is open for six consecutive weeks in July and August.  Keeneland is open for three weeks in April and three weeks in October.  Jenn surprised me by not only setting up my first ever trip to Keeneland, but by entering me in their fall handicapping contest.  The result?  I bombed out of the handicapping contest, but I did meet a guy at the contest who I've become fast friends with.  As for Keeneland itself, it is a beautiful track with top quality racing.  It's a little on the small side and it is quite a bit fancier than Saratoga, at least the part of Saratoga that I've experienced.  (Note: You can find me by the 1/8 pole on Opening Day at Saratoga, sitting on a bench with my shorts on, drinking a beer.  I'm sure you can find some people at Keeneland doing something similar, but it felt like everyone was dressed to the nines.  And the staff all have very formal green jackets on, making you wonder whether they are on loan from Augusta when the Masters isn't being played.)  Anyways, it was a bucket list item to visit Keeneland and the surrounding area, especially Old Friends farm.  Old Friends is a retirement farm for race horses and my second favorite horse of all-time lives there.  Getting to meet and have my picture taken with Silver Charm was a thrill I'll never forget.

We flew home on Monday, so I wouldn't get back to the gym until Tuesday night.  Dudes After Dark would be focused on one very special lady and her name is Nancy:

"Nancy"

5 rounds

400 meter run

15 overhead squats (95/65)

Completing Nancy in under 15 minutes was one of my goals for 2017.  My best time on this WOD was 15:35 and that came in December of last year.  Given 12 months and at least 4 attempts at it (this was a KOP benchmark WOD this year), I figured it was a slam dunk that I could trim 36 seconds off of my time.  If only it were that easy!  When I did this workout in January, I hurt my back during it, finishing in 20:36.  I had no back problems when I did this in April, but the best I could do was 16:09.    I wasn't at the gym when this came up in July, so Tuesday's attempt would be my last chance unless I decided to do it at an Open Gym later in the year.

LC had a half-dozen of us in class for Dudes After Dark.  It was me, Esra, Brian S, John McHugh, Neil, and Cline.  The six of us started out with a game on the rower.  The rowers have a "fish game" on them where you try to eat minnows and avoid sharks by rowing at different paces.  If you want to move higher on the monitor, row faster.  Trying to drop below an encroaching shark?  Row slower.  Sounds simple, but just about all of us had difficulty getting our speed right.  Towards the end I got the hang of it, but my score wasn't good enough to beat Brian's.  This wouldn't be the only time that Brian would finish as top dog.

We continued on with some stretching.  Some of that stretching involved using bands, some of it involved a PVC pipe.  When that was complete, LC asked us to put the PVC pipes away, grab a barbell, and form one line facing the lobby.  I went around and gathered up the PVC pipes from my classmates and put them away.  Total rookie move.  It meant I was the last one to grab my barbell and the last one to line up.  The only spot left was the area in the back of the gym, furthest away from the side door we'd be running in and out of.  My chances of breaking 15 minutes were already kaput.

That didn't mean I couldn't put up a time I'd be proud of.  After all, the weather was actually to my liking for once.  It was borderline chilly outside, perfect running weather in my estimation.  And this WOD was all about running.  I believed that.  Neil believed that.  Cline believed that.  The only one who didn't seem to be on board with that logic was LC.  We were asking her how she improved her running so much to make it on the gym leaderboard for Nancy.  LC said she didn't make it on the board because her running improved.  The key, according to her, was simply refusing to put the barbell down during the sets of overhead squats.  We called shenanigans.  I had gone unbroken on my overheads for this entire WOD a handful of times and I never came remotely close to LC's board-worthy time of 13 and a half minutes.

The six of us walked over to the barrier, ready for our last tussle with Nancy.  Here's my round-by-round recap:

• Round 1: Cline and Brian were out in front on the run, but I wasn't too far behind them.  I was the third one to my barbell, but after completing 15 consecutive overhead squats, I was the first one back out the door.
• Round 2: Similar story as round one.  Cline and Brian passed me on the run.  I held on for all 15 overhead squats, but I wasn't fast enough to get out the door before Brian.  Based on what LC had said prior to the workout, I was on track for 13 and a half minutes.  Except the clock was telling me a completely different story.  If I wanted to break 15 minutes, I would need to find a way to stay at my current pace.
• Round 3: Cline passed me on the run yet again and Neil and John were starting to close in on me.  I began noticing some back pain during the run.  Nothing as severe as what I felt when I did this in January, but this back pain was being accompanied by some mild abdominal pain.  I was still sore from the 60 GHD sit-ups I had done in the workout on Thursday.  This girdle of pain caused me to move slower on the overhead squats.  I continued to follow LC's directions on refusing to put the barbell down, stringing 15 reps in a row for the 3rd straight round.  Neil was out the door before me, but I was in front of Cline and John.
• Round 4: Neil is supposed to hate running, but he extended his lead on me during the 4th run.  Cline and John would pass me near the end of the 400 meters with Cline telling me to lengthen my stride and John letting me know that I needed to come back to Endurance next year.  They were both trying to provide encouragement, but I was definitely hurting at this stage.  I walked back to my barbell once I got through the door.  Once there, I did 15 consecutive overhead squats for the 4th round in a row.  Cline and John were out the door just in front of me.
• Round 5: Brian was already on his 5th round of overhead squats when I headed out for the final run.  Neil was wrapping up his 400 meters.  Cline and John were in my sights, but I was unable to reel them in during my last quarter-mile.  I tried my best to ignore the pain I was in, moving through 15 overheads quicker than I had in rounds three and four.  It was almost fast enough to catch John at the end, but I would end up finishing right behind him.  Final time: 18:47.

So much for the key to the workout being one's willingness to hold on to the barbell.  I didn't put it down once during the overhead squats and I was more than 5 minutes behind LC's time.  This was a running WOD, without a doubt.

My time wasn't as bad as it might look at first glance.  It probably took 5-10 seconds to get from the side door to my barbell in the back of the gym (and vice versa).  That extra distance was covered 9 times in this WOD, meaning my time was about 45-90 seconds beyond what it would have been had I lined up near the door.  However, even if you were generous enough to cut 90 seconds off of my time, that would still leave me north of 17 minutes on a workout that I'm supposedly good at, performed under ideal conditions.  It was clear that I had regressed.  There was no chance of me completing Nancy in less than 15 minutes this year.  And it was unlikely to ever happen.

The cash-out was a 1,000 meter row that focused on form, not time.  We all switched our monitors from the fish game to an option that showed a graphic representation of our pulls on the rower.  If we pulled properly, a perfect arc would appear on the screen.  If there was a flaw in our form, something other than an arc would show up.  Because we would be rowing for 1,000 meters, we'd get plenty of practice trying to create that perfect arc.

I think this would have been more productive had we done it before Nancy, rather than after.  The only one who seemed capable of getting this elusive arc on their screen was Neil.  The rest of us either had poor rowing form, were too tired, or were dealing with a combination of both of those issues.  I fell into that final category.  There was no arc on my screen.  Each of my pulls resulted in a graph that looked like roadkill more than anything else.  It was a lumpy blob with a flat portion along the top that resembled a tire track.  I don't think I'll be teaching any rowing seminars in the future.  I slowly made my way to 1,000 meters and was happy to head home once that was done.

Wednesday preview: A barbell EMOM with some built-in rest.  What a novel concept!  Neil and I focus on taking down Rich.  A member of the BBC keeps getting accosted by barbells at Wednesday night classes.

You're Here Early

Workout date: 10/12/17

I took Wednesday to cool down.  So did the western suburbs of Philadelphia.  When I was ready to return to KOP on Thursday, it was considerably cooler than it had been on Monday and Tuesday.  That was extra appreciated because I was heading into the gym earlier than usual on Thursday.  A buddy of mine had invited me out to watch Thursday night football and as unappealing as watching an Eagles game at an Eagles bar in Northeast Philly sounded to me, I wanted to go because it had been a while since I've gotten to hang out with my old co-workers.  If I was going to get a workout in, I'd need to stop by the 5:30 class.

I tend to come in for late classes more often than not, but I've never been shy about coming in at other times as well.  I used to hit the noon express every Friday.  You'll catch me at the 6:30 a lot more often than the 5:30, but I've dropped by for the occasional 5:30 class.  In truly desperate situations, I've even come in for morning classes.  Prior to Thursday, I would have thought that I was one of the few athletes at KOP that attended classes at a variety of times.  But based on the reception I got when I showed up for Thursday's 5:30 class, I got the opposite impression.  When I got out of my car, I saw Steph M and she said "you're here early" to me.  We walked in together and encountered Jill A in the lobby, who also greeted me with a "you're here early".  Steph and I passed through the glass doors that lead to the main gym.  The first person I saw in there was Shawna.  What else could I have expected her to say but "you're here early"?  Maybe there was some KOP drinking game going on that I didn't know about.  Noel was sitting on a bench having just completed the WOD, but he got in on the fun by telling me that I was there early when he saw me taking part in warmup drills with the 5:30 class.  The strange part to me about hearing that reaction repeated over and over again was the way in which they all said it.  It was almost like they were asking me if I was lost or if I had forgotten my watch and didn't realize that I had shown up 2 hours early.  Guess I've been neglecting my friends at the 5:30 class!

Coach Giulz had 10 athletes in her 5:30 class ready to take on the following WOD:

Thursday's WOD:
3 rounds
400 meter run
30 GHD sit-ups
20 burpees over the barbell
10 overhead squats (155/105)

With only 5 GHD machines available, we were going to need to run this WOD in two heats.  The first heat would begin 2 minutes ahead of the second heat.  Giulz asked everyone to find a partner who was about the same height so that we could easily share a GHD machine.  Josh P fit that bill for me.  Josh would be our representative in heat one, with his procrastinating partner joining in the fun two minutes later.

Giulz had some guidelines for this WOD:

1. You and your partner could not go in the same heat.  That was the whole point of having partners and running two heats.
2. For the GHD sit-ups, if you had never done a workout with this much volume (90 reps), you should scale the reps or do ab-mat sit-ups.
3. For the overhead squats, you had to be able to snatch the weight you were using.  If you required a clean and jerk to get the barbell overhead, you scaled incorrectly.  Giulz also wanted us to get through our 10 reps in no more than 2 sets.
4. The time domain for this workout would be 20 minutes.  It wasn't a hard time cap, but if you went well over 20 minutes, you scaled this workout incorrectly.

I talked with Josh about the GHD sit-ups because I was concerned about taking too long and holding him up when he got to round 3.  (If I was still working on round 1 of my sit-ups when he returned for round 2 of his sit-ups, then something had gone very, very wrong.)  Josh let me know that he was only going to do 15 GHD sit-ups per round, something I hadn't really considered.  I kept it in mind though in case I started struggling later on.  As for the overhead squats, I was confident that I could snatch 125 pounds even if I was tired out from all the other stuff in this WOD, so I went with that weight on my barbell.

There was one pair of athletes in class that even a complete stranger would know were partners.  Steph and Mariana are good friends and it's easy to notice how close they are.  They also sometimes show up to class in the exact same outfit.  This was one of those times.  Giulz told the first heat to go line up by the barrier to begin the workout and I saw two identical outfits standing side-by-side.  I was in the doorway with Laura A and I told her to watch because Giulz Rule #1 was about to be broken.  Laura seemed certain that they weren't going to both run off together.  Giulz yelled "go" and both Steph and Mariana began running (I win!).  However, Steph ran less than 50 meters before stopping, realizing that they were both going to end up stuck at the same GHD machine if they ran together (I lose!).  We'll call this one a draw between me and Laura.

As the first heat began trickling back into the door, heat two got ready to go.  There was no way we could keep up with Laura, but I did my best Mariana impression by running alongside Steph the entire 400 meters.  Josh was long gone from our GHD machine when I got back from the run.  I did 12 sit-ups before taking a break.  I might have hurried into the next set too quickly because I only got through 8 reps before stopping.  I had to do better than that on the next set or else I'd be stuck with a set of 2-4 at the very end and that would be silly.  I was able to handle the remaining 10 reps in my third set.  I pulled my feet out of the GHD machine and headed to my barbell.  I wish I could say I was about to do overhead squats, but I had a bunch of burpees to do first.

I knew this was going to be the element of the WOD that I would struggle with the most and it lived up to expectations.  I didn't really come to a stop at all as I did my burpees, but it was definitely a crawl throughout.  I figured I was making relatively good time because I didn't stop during the 20 burpees.  Wrong!  I wouldn't find out the truth until after I had completed the overhead squats.  I know for sure that I made good time there.  I snatched the barbell and held on through all 10 reps.  Unfortunately, when I dropped my barbell, I was greeted with the news that my first round had taken about 7:30 to complete.  If I kept that pace, it would take 22:30 to finish.  And just to be clear, that was the best case scenario.  I was almost certainly going to slow down over the next two rounds.

I was bummed to see that round one had taken so long, but I went into a full panic less than 100 meters into my second run.  Laura came flying by me before I got to Frosty Falls.  Was she lapping me?  Was she on round three already?  I mean, she had to be, right?  Laura's one of the best athletes in the gym, so I couldn't come up with a scenario where she would have finished round one behind me.  My rosy outlook on round one had taken a dark turn quickly.

I found more trouble when I got back from the second quarter-mile run.  We each had our own GHD machine that we shared with a partner who was similar in height to us.  It is important to have the GHD machine set up to your height so that you don't hurt yourself during the movement.  As I came in the door, there was a woman on the GHD machine that Josh and I had set up.  I never understand why people agree to do one thing in the warmup and then do the opposite once the workout begins, but it happens frequently.  This woman wasn't nearly as tall as us, so the sit-ups she was doing couldn't have been comfortable.  Neither were the ones I ended up doing on the random GHD machine I ended up on.  Worst of all, I couldn't adjust my new machine because I knew someone else was relying on that machine being set to their height.

I wasn't on that GHD very long though.  With the first round taking me about 7:30, I knew I had to scale down my reps.  I decided to lower the number of GHD sit-ups I'd complete per round to 15 and the number of burpees over the barbell to 10.  I actually felt pretty good on the GHD machine, but those sit-ups have a way of making you sore quickly.  Better to go light there.  I did a set of 8 and a set of 7 before heading to my barbell.  It was an easy decision to scale the burpees.  My goal was to stay close to the time domain that Giulz had given us and the burpees were taking me longer than anything else in this WOD.  I crawled through 10 more burpees and then strung together 10 more overhead squats.  I wasn't going to finish this workout in less than 20 minutes, but I was going to be a whole lot closer now that I had trimmed down my GHD sit-ups and burpees.

As I headed outbound on my third run, I saw Laura returning from her third run.  That meant I had been ahead of her at the end of round one.  There had to be a story behind that.  (The story behind that: Laura attempted to use the RX weight of 105 pounds for her overhead squats.  She was only able to do 2 before having to change the weight on her barbell.  I think that included a run over to the area where our plates are stored to get new plates.  All of that extra time changing the weight on her barbell explained why she fell behind me even though my first round was slow.)  When I got back to the gym, my GHD machine was free.  I went 9 and 6 this time before hustling back to my barbell.  The final 10 burpees weren't fast, but I did try and push the pace more because I had confidence that I could get all 10 overhead squats in one set.  With the burpees done, I snatched my barbell overhead and got to work on my last 10 reps.  There was quite a bit of grunting involved, but I made it through 10 consecutive overhead squats for the third straight round.  Final time: 22:15.

It might not sound like I ended up very close to the time domain that Giulz had given us, but the best time in our class was 19:21.  Eight of the 10 people in class went over 20 minutes with the last finisher coming in at close to 27 and a half minutes.  So I think I did a pretty good job of choosing a rep scheme that was both challenging to me and allowed me to stay relatively close to Giulz's request.

Tuesday preview: After a weekend in Kentucky, I come back to find Nancy waiting for me at Dudes After Dark.  Several of us call shenanigans on LC.  I find multiple ways to fail on the rower.

Don't Toss It Like An A-Hole

Workout date: 10/10/17

The heat index inside the gym on Monday night was high enough to make several athletes feel nauseous.  Things did not cool off much over the next 24 hours.  We were nearing mid-October and it was at least 75 degrees outside, which meant it was north of 85 degrees inside KOP.  I love the huge space that we have to work out in, but it can be brutally hot sometimes.  There is simply no circulation within the gym.  It is badly in need of some air conditioning.  Last year, the heat was too much for me in August and I left for 5 weeks, hoping that the end of summer would bring cooler temps.  This year, we were long past Labor Day and still dealing with this issue.  It would play a big role in my performance at Dudes After Dark.

LC's class was made up of 6 dudes (me, Cline, Bryan, Erik, Actuary Mike, and Brian S) and Esra.  Caitlyn had been in the 6:30 class and I saw the three participants from last evening's "Flight Night With Mike" all chatting when I walked in the door.  Mike was laughing about something.  When he saw me, he came over to tell me that Esra and Caitlyn were experiencing some sore calves as a result of all the double under work they put in after the WOD.  (I'm sure there was probably some cramping due to dehydration as well.)  Mike felt fine.  After all, he only did 18 minutes of work while both of the ladies went the full 25 minutes.  I think he was laughing partly because he knew how they felt having done the Flight Simulator so many times before last night's successful run.

Esra would have to get those calves loosened up in a hurry because she would be leading us out on the warmup run.  LC wanted us to do a 400 meter Indian run with a med ball.  Back during the summer, there would still be daylight available as we did this warmup, so we would toss the med ball up in the air without a care, confident that the person behind us would catch it.  Now that it was dark at 7:30, that seemed a little more dangerous.  The med ball is mostly black to begin with.  Tossing it towards the night sky would camouflage it even more and could result in someone taking a med ball to the face.  LC was aware that this could happen so she gave us clear instructions for the warmup.  "Don't toss it like an asshole", she said to the immature group of students standing by the door.  She demonstrated how we should pass along the ball to one another, twisting to the side and handing it to the mythical person behind her.  She asked if we all understood and each one of us said yes.

Esra had our med ball and we followed her outside.  As we walked past the barrier on the other side of the street, Esra began jogging and we all followed suit.  And then she tossed the ball up in the air like an asshole.  I couldn't have been prouder of her.  None of us wanted to do that lame "turn to the side" alternative.  Every time we've done this warmup, we've thrown the ball in the air and we weren't going to let a little thing like darkness stop us from our routine.  Plus, LC should have known that she was surrounded by assholes.

A glimpse at Dudes After Dark in the future

When we returned from the run, LC had another game awaiting us.  We would stand in a circle with a PVC pipe in front of us.  LC would yell "left" or "right" and we'd have to run in that direction and grab the pipe that was abandoned by the person who had been standing there.  At first the circle was pretty tight and you didn't have to run far to get to the next pipe.  As long as the person who was there didn't intentionally tip it on you, you had a good shot at catching it before it hit the ground.  One by one, players were eliminated and the circle got wider.  In the end, it would come down to me and Bryan.  I made a couple of desperate saves when it was down to heads up, but Bryan would wind up winning when it was all said and done.

Now that we were warmed up (translation: sweaty), it was time to turn our attention to the WOD.  Here's a look at it:

Tuesday's WOD:
20 minute AMRAP
40 wall balls (20#/14# to 10'/9')
30 toes-to-bar
20 power cleans (135/95)
10 bar muscle-ups

A glimpse at the scores from earlier in the day told me that completing 2 rounds would be close to impossible, so I wasn't going to put too much pressure on myself in terms of moving from station to station quickly.  This was probably going to be slow and painful, so I was going to focus on keeping my breaks short rather than focusing on speed.

LC warmed us up at each of the stations beginning with the power cleans (empty barbell) and then the wall balls.  After that, we moved over to the pull-up rig for the toes-to-bar and bar muscle-ups.  My barbell was near the middle of the gym, so I headed over to a bar towards the middle of the pull-up rig.  I was going to use the high bar for the toes-to-bar, so there was plenty of space to do those, but once we went on to the progressions for the bar muscle-up (where I'd be on the low bar), I knew there wasn't going to be enough space for me.  So once we were done with the progressions, I moved down to the far end of the gym by myself.  It probably looked a little weird that I had separated myself from everyone else, but they would be happy to know a sweaty gorilla wasn't going to kick them in the back while they were on the pull-up rig.

The only aspect of this workout that I decided to scale was the bar muscle-ups because I'd never done 10 in a WOD before and I wasn't particularly confident that I could even do one.  LC mentioned chest-to-bar pull-ups as a scale and I knew I could complete 10 of those in a reasonable amount of time.  The toes-to-bar were going to be the most difficult part of the WOD, but I always had the option of coming down from the high bar and doing singles on the low bar if I got too tired to string reps.

After LC watched us do some practice power cleans with the weight we'd be using in the WOD, we were ready to begin.  Well, I was almost ready.  I needed to grab some paper towels and wipe off my head, my arms, and my hands.  My shirt was already completely soaked through.  I hadn't done the workout yet, but it sure looked like I had.  Once I was somewhat dry, I walked down to the far end of the gym and got ready for the wall balls.

If there was one part of this workout that I had some confidence in, it would be the wall balls.  I wouldn't say I had a breakthrough with these, but I felt like I discovered a way to improve my technique during one of last week's cash-outs.  Because this WOD was likely going to be a long, painful slog, my plan was to break up the wall balls into two sets.  We got underway and I made it through 25 reps before letting the ball hit the ground.  So far, so good.  I tried to keep my rest short.  I picked up the ball and began my second set.  I was only a few reps in when sweat began pouring down my head and into my eyes.  As I tossed the ball up to the wall, I tried to quickly use my shoulder to get the sweat out of my eyes, but it didn't do much good.  If catching a ball falling from the sky outside in the dark was dangerous, then I can't imagine it would be any more safe trying to do it with your vision impaired.  After 8 reps, I got frustrated and let my ball drop again.  I used my shirt to dry off my entire head.  I picked up the ball and completed my remaining 7 reps.

I told myself that my attitude would get better if I could get through the 30 toes-to-bar with some fairly large sets.  Early on, that seemed like a real possibility.  I did two sets of five to kick things off. Four more sets like that and I was on to the power cleans!  On my next set, my grip began to slip on the 3rd rep, but I re-gripped and got a 4th rep in before coming down from the bar.  I chalked up my hands hoping that it would keep my hands dry, but I felt my hands sliding when I got to rep #3 of the next set.  It didn't matter whether I used chalk or dried my hands on one of the small sections of my t-shirt that weren't saturated with sweat.  These solutions were very temporary.  Everyone else had moved on to the power cleans while I struggled to hold on to the bar.  My remaining sets would go 3-3-2-2-1-1-1.  There was a lot of time remaining in the WOD, but I had checked out mentally already.

I came over to the power cleans thinking that I might be able to use some of my anger to cycle the barbell quickly.  But you have to have some real interest in what you're doing to make that happen.  My mind wasn't thinking "hey, put together some big sets here and catch up with your classmates".  It was thinking "great, how is the fact that water pours out of me like a broken fire hydrant going to screw me on this movement?"  I did a set of two power cleans and dropped the barbell.  It wasn't too heavy for me.  I just didn't feel like picking it up.  When I talked myself into going back to the barbell, I only managed two more.  Slowly I began to let go of some of my frustration.  My next three sets would be 3 reps each.  You can do more than 3 reps at a time.  Stop messing around and get back into it.  I took a deep breath and tried to remember what it felt like to want to do this.  I did one power clean, tapped the floor, and went right into the next.  For the first time since I got to the barbell, I developed a rhythm.  I refused to let go of that barbell until I completed all 7 power cleans that I had remaining.

That was the first (spoiler: and only) bright spot of this workout for me.  I came over to a low bar at the far end of the gym ready to do sets of quick chest-to-bar singles.  I had done sets of 6 in other workouts, so I felt like I should be able to do this in two sets.  Not today!  I didn't feel safe on any of my reps.  As I did my kip, I felt my hands slide every time.  I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't help it.   My inability to control how much I sweat was crushing me on this WOD.  I went 2-3-3-2 and moved on to the wall balls.

Somehow things got worse when I got there.  If you told me that I hadn't reached my low point yet, I would never have believed you, but it was still to come.  I began my set of wall balls thinking that I could finish them in 4 sets, maybe 3 if got my head straight.  I tossed the ball up to the wall and when I caught it, I felt it slide in my hand.  It felt like it might come out of my hands, so I had to really throw it hard to get it up to the 10' mark.  It made it there, but just barely.  That wasn't the point though.  I had been doing this workout for over 15 minutes now and it was nothing but one reminder after another about how sweaty I was and how it impaired my performance.  After catching the second rep, I used all of my energy to throw the wall ball as high as I could.  I had no intentions of catching it.  The ball hit the wall up near the flags (between 11' and 12') before crashing back down to the floor.  I walked away from the wall, taking some time to consider whether I wanted to stop now or keep going.

I took my longest break of the WOD.  I didn't need to catch my breath or shake out my arms or anything.  I just needed to make a decision on whether I was going to continue.  If I was going to blow up again during the remaining few minutes, then there was no point.  But if I could convince myself to keep it together for a couple more minutes, then it would be worthwhile.  I dried off my hands and returned to the wall.  I did a set of 12 reps.  On my next set, I did 15.  That left 10 for the final set that I did.

I didn't bother trying to string big sets of toes-to-bar on the high bar as that only had the potential of making me frustrated.  I went to the low bar and did sets of quick singles.  My first set was 5 reps.  Then I got two sets of four completed before time was called.  Final score: 1+53.

Usually at the end of a workout, I'll think about strategy.  I'll think about whether I should have scaled something.  I'll think about whether I need to spend more time practicing a movement.  At the end of this WOD, all I could think about was whether Crossfit was right for me.  Maybe I should be doing something else.  If I took up running again, I wouldn't have to worry about sweating tarnishing my time.  If I joined a swim club, I wouldn't have to worry about perspiration affecting my workout.  There were plenty of other things I could do in terms of exercise where I wouldn't be so harshly penalized as I seem to always be when doing Crossfit.

Then again, maybe it wasn't Crossfit itself that was the problem.  Maybe I just needed to move on from KOP.  I had visited other boxes when traveling.  It's not like there weren't any Crossfit gyms with air conditioning.  They existed.  Maybe I wouldn't end up as frustrated with Crossfit if I found a place where I could do it without sweating so damn much.

I had a lot to think about as I drove home that night.  My gut reaction was to wait it out.  It was bound to cool off at some point, right?  Perhaps I'd re-embrace Crossfit once actual fall weather descended on our region.  That seemed like my best option for now.  I couldn't imagine leaving KOP and doing Crossfit somewhere else, even if they had air conditioning.  I was all-in with the KOP crew.  If I wasn't doing Crossfit there, I wasn't doing it anywhere.

Thursday preview: After a day off to get over Tuesday night's frustration, I come back for an earlier than normal class on Thursday and everyone seems to notice.  For once, it feels like fall.  I make a mid-WOD adjustment in order to stay within the coach's time domain.

Flight Night With Mike

Workout date: 10/9/17

After three days of destroying my legs, I needed a day off on Thursday.  That wound up leading to a long weekend away from the gym.  I knew I couldn't make it in on Friday as I had plans in the city.  And I haven't come in for a weekend workout unless I had a compelling reason to do so.  As a result, I got four days of recovery rather than one, but I can tell you that my legs were grateful for the extended break.

We had some strange weather on Monday.  Hurricane Nate had been making its way up the East Coast and what was left of it reached the western suburbs of Philly on Monday morning.  It looked miserable as I peered out the window, but I discovered that it was weather I liked when I went outside.  It was a nice, gentle rain accompanied by some mildly warm temperatures.  I could get behind that.  I'd be really happy if I could bottle this up and bring it to the gym with me for the workout tonight.

Turns out I wouldn't get that lucky.  The weather changed as the day went on and by the time I came in for the 6:30 class, it was extremely muggy inside the gym.  Giulz told us a story while we got warmed up about how she was in an earlier class and had to deal with similar conditions.  By the end of class, she found herself throwing up in the ladies room.  Moral of the story: this workout was not going to be pleasant.

The weird thing about Giulz's story is that the Monday WOD wasn't some long drawn-out metcon that we had to suffer through.  Instead it was the same format that I had seen in many recent workouts: one part strength, one part short cash-out.  Here's what was on Monday's menu:

Monday's WOD:
3RM shoulder press

Cash-out:
30-20-10
Chest-to-bar pull-ups
DB push press (35/20)
*Time cap: 12 minutes

If that WOD looks familiar to you, then you have been paying really close attention to this blog.  Good for you!  You get a gold star.  The 3RM shoulder press was a 2017 benchmark workout and we did the same cash-out back in July.  (Note: A different cash-out was scheduled after the 3RM shoulder press when we did this in January and April.)  There were 15 of us in class, so we needed to partner up on the shoulder press.  Actuary Mike and I ended up sharing a rack for this one.  Mike would be working towards a new PR at 110 pounds, while I would be chasing a new PR at 145 pounds.

As we made our way through some of the lighter sets, I took a minute to go over and talk to Neil.  The Brawl In The Fall competition was taking place in November.  This event is a bit different from the one held in the summertime.  The summer version includes teams of 4 with two males and two females.  You can sign up for either the scaled or RX divisions.  The fall version recruits teams of 2 with one male and one female.  You can still sign up for either the scaled or RX divisions, but if you have aged like a fine wine, you also have the option to join one of the age group divisions.  The categories available are 35-44, 45-54, and 55+.  Neil and his partner Ashley were not old enough for any of those groups, so they would be taking part in the scaled division.  Kris had contacted me and asked me if I could brainstorm names for her team (she was signed up with Bryan) and for Neil's team.  I came up with lots of ideas, but most of the ones that I came up with for Bryan and Kris weren't that great.  I wasn't having much luck with Neil and Ashley's team name until Sunday afternoon.  I was running around the yard with my dog Griffin when a really good team name popped in my head.  I told Neil that I came up with a name for his team, but he stopped me in my tracks.  He and Ashley had already signed up.  And they had used the name I gave them last week.  Huh?

Remember how I said we all hung out gabbing after last week's Dudes After Dark?  Well one of the things we talked about was how much Mike enjoyed trying to complete the Flight Simulator at Open Strength on Monday nights.  It had become so common that it felt like Open Strength on Monday needed a name, a la Dudes After Dark.  So I came up with "Flight Night With Mike".  The name got positive reviews overall, but it probably amused me more than anyone else.  "Flight Night With Mike" tickled my fancy so much that I suggested one of the teams use it for The Brawl In The Fall.  It wouldn't make sense to anyone outside the gym, but it had a nice ring to it at least.  Little did I know that Neil and Ashley would actually go with it.  I was flattered that they did, but it took the air out of the suggestion I came up with over the weekend.  Neil and Ashley both work at Vanguard, so I thought they would enjoy "Vanguardians Of The Galaxy".  Why did I prematurely push Flight Night With Mike?

Enough about the Fall Brawl, let's get back to the 3RM shoulder press.  Mike made easy work out of his early sets at 75, 85, and 95.  I didn't have any problems with my sets at 95, 115, and 125.  I thought Mike would keep making 10 pound jumps, but he decided to be more conservative when it came to his 4th set.  He only added 5 pounds, but still looked like he wasn't breaking a sweat as he did three reps at 100.  I was going to be sweating a lot during my set at 135.  In July, I had done a lot of contorting to get through three reps at 140.  I knew I could handle a set at 135, but it wasn't going to be easy.  It really came down to the first rep.  If that went well, the rest of the set would probably be okay.  Surprisingly, the first rep went very well and I didn't have much trouble with the other two.  Could I really get three reps at 145 when the three reps I did at 140 in July were so ugly?

Mike moved on to 105 for his next set.  I try my best to avoid tying my previous best marks, but Mike didn't have a problem with it.  Once again, he made it look easy.  This boy was definitely writing PR next to his name tonight.  I was up next with 145 pounds, my 1RM.  All I kept thinking about was how well the set at 135 had gone.  This might be a struggle, but it's not impossible.  Keep the faith!  I took the barbell from the rack and only got stuck a little bit as I pressed out rep #1.  Don't slow down, keep that barbell moving!  I brought the barbell back down, let it hit my shoulders, then pressed up for rep #2.  This rep was a lot more difficult.  For a second, I thought I might not get it, but somehow it kept heading north.  One rep to go!  PR city!  Make it happen!  I bounced the barbell off my shoulders one more time and pressed up with everything I had.  I was willing to grunt.  I was willing to fight.  But that damn barbell was more stubborn than I was.  Eventually I had to relent and drop it to back to my shoulders and put it back on the rack.  At least I got a new 2RM!  (Hooray?)

I might not have been destined for a new PR, but Mike certainly was.  We put 110 pounds on the barbell for him.  I'm always more psyched to see someone else hit a PR and there was no doubt in my mind that Mike was going to be successful here.  Rep #1: Yawn.  Rep #2: Easy peasy.  Rep #3: Uh oh.  Mike hadn't struggled with a single rep yet, but he was going to have work on rep #3 if he wanted this PR.  He never let the barbell stop moving and although it took a little longer than he probably would have liked, Mike pressed out the third rep and got a PR.

There was no point in trying 145 again because I knew I wasn't going to get three reps, so I decided to add 5 pounds to the barbell.  Say what?  No, I hadn't gone loco.  I wanted 150 pounds on the barbell so that I could try and hit a new 1RM.  I had never shoulder pressed more than 145 pounds.  Having just done 2 reps at that weight told me that a single rep at 150 wasn't out of the question.  It was nothing but positive thoughts and adrenaline as I approached the barbell for my final lift.  I took the barbell from the rack and...it went nowhere.  It was so much worse than my attempt to get the third rep at 145.  I'm not even sure that you could have slid a piece of paper between the barbell and my shoulders.  The set at 145 was the end for me. I just didn't realize it at the time.  Mike would go on to try 115 pounds, but he had the same issues I did at 150.  110 would be his final score.  My final score: 135.

We all got organized for the cash-out and Giulz asked us to grab our DBs.  I was surprised to see that there were so many 50 pound DBs available in a class this big.  Surely other people (Neil came to mind) would be going RX in this cash-out.  Maybe they were warming up with a lighter DB?  I wasn't sure what the deal was, but I couldn't complain about having my choice of the 50 pound DBs.  I chose a pair with rubber ends (always gentler in case you drop them to the floor) and headed down to the far end of the gym where I'd be doing the cash-out.  Giulz asked us to do 5 reps of the push press with our DBs.  I knew these were going to be tough, but I made it through 5 reps.  I had done well recently when facing mental hurdles and I was chalking up the heavy DB push presses as nothing but another one of those.  I put the DBs down and shook out my arms.

We didn't have partners for the cash-out, but Mike was still looking out for me.  He saw my DBs and asked me what the heck I was doing.  I didn't understand his question.  The RX weights were 50/35, weren't they?  Ummm...no, they were not.  Mike pointed to the whiteboard.  It clearly said the RX weights were 35/20.  I nearly made a huge mistake.  I picked up my DBs and hustled back over towards the lobby where I could exchange them.  My illiteracy explained why so many 50 pound DBs were available.  It also explained why all of the 35 pound DBs were gone.  I had no choice but to use 30 pound DBs instead.

Giulz broke us up into two heats to try and dilute the traffic that would be present on the pull-up rig.  I was in heat two, so I would have to wait a couple of minutes before getting started on my chest-to-bar pull-ups.  Once it was my turn to go, I realized that I was going to have to adjust my typical chest-to-bar pull-up technique.  In order to hit my chest against the bar, I have to do a pretty wild kip. That means I take up a lot of space with my feet kicking out in front of me.  Caitlyn was stationed at the next bar up from me and she looked close enough that I might hit her during my reps.  I had no desire to kick the unsuspecting Caitlyn in the back during the cash-out, so whenever I swung forward on the bar, I flared my knees out wide.  Depending on where she was on her rep, I imagined that my knees were probably appearing alongside of her.  Hopefully that wasn't freaking her out too much.  Once we slowed down and both needed breaks, I would simply wait until she took her rest before doing my reps.  When she started again, I took a break.  There was one moment where she pump-faked a break, stepping down on to her box before immediately getting back on to her bar.  I accidentally bumped into her on that rep and apologized.  (Esra was behind me and accidentally bumped into me once as well.)

I wanted to stay under 11 minutes for this cash-out, but the chest-to-bar pull-ups were really difficult to get through.  A muggy gym plus a movement that naturally knocks the wind out of you is a recipe for getting time capped.  Luckily, I had warmed up with 50 pound DBs, so the push presses felt pretty easy when I got to them.  I went 20-10 in round one and 14-6 in round two.  By the time I got to round three of the chest-to-bar pull-ups, I knew I'd stay under the time cap.  It was simply a matter of whether I could beat 11 minutes.

To begin the last 10 chest-to-bar pull-ups, I did three sets of two quick singles.  I was having a lot of difficulty breathing and couldn't convince myself to do more than that.  Giulz's story about throwing up was also resonating at that moment.  The clock can be a powerful motivator though.  I knew these sets of two wouldn't cut it, so I willed myself through the last four in a row to get back to the DBs.  I picked up the DBs and did 10 push presses as fast as I could, but it was too little, too late.  Final time: 11:05.

I definitely needed some time to lie on the floor as I had no desire to heave up my lunch in the men's room.  The conditions were awful in the gym.  We really didn't do much in the way of cardio, yet here I was feeling as nauseous as I had ever felt at the end of a WOD.  We needed cooler temps in the gym ASAP.

Once we had wiped down the pull-up bars and put our DBs away, it was time for Flight Night With Mike.  Oh yes, Mike was feeling much better than I was and wanted another shot at the Flight Simulator.  He got Esra and Caitlyn to join him, but I declined his invite.  Even if I wasn't feeling pukey, I wouldn't have participated.  Finishing the Flight Simulator was a cool goal, but once I had done it, I had no desire to do it again.  I don't read a lot of stories about people coming down from Mount Everest saying "man, I can't wait to do that again next year!"  That's basically how I viewed the Flight Simulator now that I had conquered it.

Mike and Esra were doing the full Flight Simulator while Caitlyn was doing sets from 3 to 30 rather than the normal 5 to 50.  We recommended that for her because this was her first time attempting the Flight Simulator.  How did they do?

Who doesn't love the Flight Simulator?

Mike was a rock star.  The guy never seems to get tired, so fatigue didn't play as large a role in this workout for him as it always did for me.  When I did this, I knew I couldn't mess up very much or I'd be too tired to get through it all.  The only reason Mike hadn't completed the Flight Simulator up to this point is because he had a lot of near misses on big sets in previous attempts.  That wouldn't be the case tonight.  He only messed up twice while making his way through the 19 sets required.  Throw in that he didn't need as much recovery time as I did and this bout was called early.  Mike's final time: 18:24.

Esra had the best form of this trio.  She also had the fastest rope speed.  So it was odd to see her struggling so much during the first 5-10 minutes of this workout.  She would jump back and forth during her sets and it is possible that was what tripped her up.  It was hard to see what else it could be.  She was stuck on the set of 25 for an eternity, but once she finally got past that one, she had a few successful sets in a row.  She made it through the round of 40 before the 25 minute time cap hit.

Caitlyn was feeling good early on in her attempt.  While taking a break after the set of 18, she told us that she wished she had done the regular format (where each set increases by 5 rather than 3).  The Crossfit gods did not like that.  Poor Caitlyn did set after set after set where she got 20 reps when she needed 21.  She must have done 10 sets that ended somewhere in the 15-20 double under range.  By that point, frustration becomes too tough to overcome.  She was still stuck on that set of 21 when the time cap hit.

Esra and Caitlyn were on board with trying this again next week, but I had a hard time believing Mike would want to make a return appearance.  Flight Night With Mike was already defunct.  It needed a new name.  I couldn't come up with something that rhymed with Esra, so I offered up "Flight Date With Cait".  If you see a team with that name at the Brawl In The Fall, you will know where they got it from.

Tuesday preview: Esra breaks the rules.  Bryan outduels me in the warmup.  I begin to seriously question if Crossfit KOP is the right place for me.

Sasha's Fears

Workout date: 10/4/17

They say you only get one chance to make a first impression.  I would argue that three KOP members got a second chance on Wednesday night.  The only problem is that I think we made the same exact impression.  To be fair, we should have been given a heads up that we were making an impression.  We didn't know!  We were just being...us.

I got to the gym at about 7:28 on Wednesday night.  As soon as I turned my car off, I heard my phone buzz.  It was a text message from Actuary Mike:

"Where are you?  I don't want to take class by myself."

I laughed when I read the message and then hustled inside so that Mike knew he wouldn't have to fly solo in Coach Jenna's class.  I let him know that it probably wouldn't just be me and him either because when I signed up for class, it said two other people were signed up.  I assumed Mike was one of the other two, but he said he wasn't.  Maybe we'd have two more classmates?  A minute later, we saw Neil.  That was one of the two.  Who was the other mystery person?

As Jenna had us do some agility drills, she asked us if we saw the girl who had been in the lobby.  Jenna had a mystery of her own to figure out.  She said this girl was talking on her phone in the lobby for a bit and she got the impression that this unknown female was waiting for the 7:30 class to begin. Then when she got the three of us together to start class, she noticed that the stranger on the cell phone was gone.

I hadn't seen her.  Mike hadn't seen her.  Neil hadn't seen her.  Could our mysteries be linked together?  We asked Jenna who had signed up for class.  She said that she saw my name, Neil's name, and a female name that she didn't recognize.  Wait!  Jenna had a eureka moment.  She remembered that LC had told her a girl might be dropping into her class as she was visiting for the week.  Suddenly, the three guys knew who the mystery woman was.  It had to be Sasha, right?  She dropped in to Dudes After Dark last night, so that was clearly who LC was referencing.  But why would she come all the way to the gym, hang out in the lobby, and then leave?  Oh no.  It had to be us.  She had met me, Mike, and Neil already.  She must have seen us, gotten the same impression she had from the night before, and hightailed it out of there.  We scared her off.  I guess Dudes After Dark might not be for everyone.

Alas, it would just be the three of us in Jenna's 7:30 class.  The format of tonight's WOD was similar to Tuesday's, minus the EMOM.  First part of class: strength.  Second part of class: cash-out.  Here's Wednesday night's fun:

Wednesday's WOD:
3RM front squat (5 working sets at 80% or higher of previous 3RM)

Cash-out:
3 rounds
20 wall balls (20#/14# to 10'/9')
5 ring muscle-ups

It was interesting to see that specific detail about the working sets included with the front squat section.  We're usually allowed to choose our own weights when working up to some sort of max, but here we were told that we had to do 5 heavy sets.  My 3RM coming into the night was 265 pounds, so my 5 working sets would need to be 215 pounds and above.  I came up with a progression of 215-230-245-260-270.

I certainly wasn't optimistic about my chances of emerging from that gauntlet unscathed.  My legs were very sore, mostly from doing 16.1 on Monday.  Tuesday's workout was pretty leg-intensive as well, but doing a ton of lunges leaves you with a lingering pain that is unmistakable.  If I somehow got three reps at 270, it would be a remarkable achievement.

I began with two warmup sets at 135 and 185.  From there, it was on to the working sets.  Things went smoothly on the sets at 215, 230, and 245.  Maybe there was a PR in the cards for me this evening.  Going from 245 to 260 wasn't a big leap, so I had confidence that I'd make it through that set alright.  Instead, it turned out to be a real battle.  The first rep went like I hoped.  The second rep was slower than any rep I had done to that point.  On the third rep, I got stuck.  I desperately tried to push my hips forward and drive upward, but I was barely moving at all.  I had just enough left in the tank to stand that rep up.  I made it through the set at 260, but my prospects for the set at 270 were looking dim.

While I was finding my way to 270, Neil and Mike were working on establishing their own PR's.  What was Neil's previous best 3RM on the front squat?  Let's go to the spreadsheet!  One of the running jokes we've had in the late classes has revolved around Neil's mythical Crossfit spreadsheet.  He claims to have a spreadsheet with information jotted down in it, but whenever we ask him for his personal best marks, he responds with some number that can't possibly be correct.  It's almost as if he's been closing this spreadsheet of his without saving it, so that every time he reopens it, it displays the numbers that he entered two years ago.

Jenna and I asked Neil what his spreadsheet had listed as his 3RM front squat, but he couldn't recall what it said.  It didn't really matter.  We were going to peer pressure him into doing some ridiculous weight anyways.  Neil completed a set about 15 minutes in and then stepped back to figure out what he needed to add to his barbell for his next set.  We had this exchange:

Neil: "What plates do I need to put on to get to 300?"
Me: "Well that's 275 pounds right now, so..."
Neil: "What?  275 pounds?  I thought that was 285!"
Me: "Nope, that's definitely 275 pounds."
Neil: "Dammit!  I don't care.  I'm doing 300 for the next set.  What do I need?"
Me: "A 10 and a 2.5 on each side."

I don't think I even had a chance to do my next set before Neil took on 300.  He made it look easy.  He dropped the barbell back on the rack and declared that he knew he got the weight right this time.  It was definitely 300 pounds.  I decided to have some fun with him by telling him that it was technically 299 pounds.  He told me to shut up, but I wasn't lying.  The barbell is 20kg, which works out to 44 pounds, not 45 pounds.  We just say it is 45 pounds because it makes adding up the weights easier.  Neil asked Jenna if that was true and she nodded her head.  Neil looked like he was going to find some tiny plates to put on the barbell to make it a true 300, but we assured him that he got credit for 300 pounds with the barbell the way it was.  If we didn't give him credit for 300, then Mike wouldn't get credit for the 200 pounds he had just completed.  Their new PR's would be much harder to remember if they were 299 and 199, so Jenna wrote 300 and 200 up on the board.  (Why am I such a jerk in these situations?)

I had no faith in my ability to get the set at 270 pounds and now I had karma working against me as well.  I probably wasn't even going to manage one rep.  I had to try though.  I took the barbell off the rack and descended into my first rep.  It was similar to the second rep that I had done at 260.  It was slow, but I wouldn't say I got stuck along the way.  Maybe I could pull this off if I really took my time.  I went into the second rep.  As I tried to stand up, I got stuck.  I tried to recreate the magic of the 3rd rep at 260, but I was just spinning my wheels.  I had nothing left, so I bailed the barbell.  Final score: 260.

We moved on to the cash-out.  All of us could do wall balls.  None of us could do ring muscle-ups.  I thought this might be one of those moments where someone says they can't do a complex movement, gives it a try, and magically discovers that they can do it.  That someone wasn't me, nor was it Neil.  Mike became good at pull-ups in a flash and the same thing happened when he started spending more time on handstand push-ups.  It didn't seem unreasonable to think that he would give this ring muscle-up thing a try and find himself up above the rings before he knew it.  Mike did make a few attempts at a ring muscle-up, but this was one movement that wasn't going to come easy for him.  I still believe it won't be long before he conquers it though.

All three of us decided to go with jumping ring muscle-ups as a scale.  I can't speak to my classmates' form, but mine was pretty awful.  I imagine their form was not so great either based on what Jenna would write on the whiteboard for us once we were done.  My main focus for this cash-out was stringing all of the wall balls.  Last week, I had done a WOD that seemed like more of a mental challenge than a physical one.  I was viewing this the same way.  My legs were really sore, but there was no real justification for not being able to do three sets of 20 consecutive wall balls.  Letting the ball drop was giving in mentally.  No matter how the jumping muscle-ups went, I would base my performance on this cash-out on whether I held on to that wall ball.

We got started and I believe all three of us did 20 consecutive wall balls.  We came over to the rings and I struggled the most.  I'm not sure how strict Neil and Mike were on their attempts, but I was very hard on myself when it came to my form.  I wasn't my harshest critic though.  That distinction went to Jenna.  She didn't no rep me at all, but she kept telling me that I wasn't doing the jumping muscle-up correctly.  Sometimes I wasn't leaning back enough at the beginning of the movement.  Sometimes I wasn't pulling the rings into my chest as I went up over the rings.  Sometimes I wasn't landing in the bottom of the dip like I was meant to do.  I was taking my time before each attempt trying to do all of the things she was describing to me, but I probably only had 3-4 good reps in the entire cash-out.

I was well behind Mike and Neil when I came back to the wall balls.  I was also pretty tired.  That was no excuse for not holding on for all 20 wall balls though.  I tossed the ball up in the air and got my second set underway.  You never know when you'll discover something that might help you in future workouts, and during this second set, I think I randomly stumbled upon a technique that will allow me to do longer sets of wall balls going forward.  I've always approached wall balls with the thought that I needed to generate a lot of power out of the squat and then unleash that power as I fired the ball high up on the wall.  But due to fatigue, I found that I wasn't throwing the ball that hard at the start of my second round.  And then I noticed that I didn't need to.  It was only 20 pounds after all.  I was just doing front squats with 260 pounds, so why in the world would 20 pounds ever feel anything but light?  For the rest of the cash-out, I took something off my fastball.  I'd come out of my squat and then consciously make the decision not to strain as I threw the ball upwards.  I still had to make sure it cleared the 10' mark, but I figured out how much energy was required for that pretty quickly.  I felt better at the conclusion of the second set of 20 than I had at the end of round one.

There is little to say about my second round of jumping muscle-ups other than they were still very disappointing, both to Jenna and to me.  Back at the wall, I easily made it through 20 more wall balls.  I refused to consider my third round of jumping muscle-ups complete until I got at least one comment  from Jenna that sounded like approval.  On my 3rd or 4th jumping muscle-up, she said "that was a good one", which is a phrase I hadn't heard often in this cash-out.  I completed my 5th attempt and called it a night.  Final time: 9:01.

Up at the whiteboard, Jenna wrote "transitions" next to all of our names.  None of us had done enough to earn the designation of "jumping muscle-ups" for the cash-out.  I guess we did a decent job of flopping over the rings and extending out of the bottom of a dip.  It wasn't wonderful hearing that I had messed up a movement that I've been decent at in the past, but I had at least learned something about wall balls.  And let's face it, those show up in workouts a lot more than muscle-ups do.

Monday preview: Four days of rest make my legs feel like new again.  It's October and it's still obscenely muggy in the gym.  The Flight Simulator becomes a phenomenon.

It's All In The Clips

Workout date: 10/3/17

Without a doubt, my favorite development at the gym has been how popular Dudes After Dark has become.  No, it doesn't have 16-18 people in it like some of those Monday 6:30 classes do.  But it has a buzz about it.  People talk about it as their favorite class of the week.  There's a completely different vibe to that class which you won't find in any other class at KOP.  Want the strongest evidence of how beloved Dudes After Dark is?  Athletes actually sign up for the class in advance!  No one does that anymore.

There were a whopping 10 people at this week's Dudes After Dark.  That was a big turnout for a class that used to have 4 or less people in it routinely.  Making this class a little bit more special was the fact that it was actually taking place after dark for the first time in a long time.  (Good call, Actuary Mike!)  The 9 people I'd be working out with at 7:30 were Neil, John McHugh, Actuary Mike, Bryan, Ashley, Kris, Esra, The Prodigy, and a drop-in named Sasha.  LC told us to run 400 meters to warm up.  While running, we were obligated to find out 5 things about Sasha or face burpees when we got back to the gym.  I'm a bit torn on this tradition.  On one hand, it's great that the members of the gym are interacting with a new face that doesn't know anyone in the class.  On the other hand, I have to imagine it's a bit daunting having 9 strangers firing questions at you for two minutes straight.  Everyone was nice to me on my first day, but they weren't forced to perform an inquisition on me under the threat of burpees.  I liked that format better.

There were two parts to the Tuesday night WOD: a strength EMOM followed by a cash-out.  Here's a look at what we were doing:

Tuesday's WOD:

10 minute EMOM:

Build to a 2RM thruster

Cash-out:

2 rounds

20 thrusters (95/65)

30 box jumps (24"/20")

40 deadlifts (95/65)

400 meter run

I haven't been shy about expressing how much I dislike EMOMs.  You could never convince me that they aren't the worst type of workout we do at KOP.  This EMOM was among the worst of the worst.  As a refresher, EMOM stands for "Every Minute On the Minute".  In this WOD, we would have to do 2 reps of a thruster at the start of every minute.  Would we get to rest for the remainder of the minute?  No.  We'd have to scramble around adding weight to our barbell in preparation for the next 2 reps.  The amount of rest we got was dependent on how good we were at changing plates.  That's not a test of fitness.  It was mostly a test of how well-organized each athlete was.  EMOMs suck.

LC went over the thruster with us.  We started off with an empty barbell, then all of us hoarded as many plates as we could for the EMOM.  As we got organized, I looked across the way and shared the secret to this workout with Esra and The Prodigy.  That secret?  It's all in the clips.  If you wanted to have any hope of getting rest during this WOD, you needed a nice pair of clips that would easily slide on and off of the barbell as you changed your weight.  If you got a bent pair or a sticky pair of clips, the next minute might start before you had finished adjusting the weight on your barbell.  Invest some time finding a good pair of clips.  It would be worth it.

My plan for this EMOM was to go 75-95-115-125-135-145-155-165-175-185.  I had no clue what my true 2RM was.  My 1RM was 200 pounds.  I had never done a 2RM or a 3RM before.  Several years ago, I did a 5RM with 135 pounds.  So if I managed to get all the way through the 10 round progression that I had come up with, I'd technically have myself a 50 pound PR.  Even if I failed a few rounds early, I'd have a pretty hefty PR.  That wasn't such a bad deal.

I loaded 75 pounds on my barbell and got ready for round one to begin.  LC started the clock and I did two quick thrusters.  I stripped off the 15 pound plates and put on 25 pound replacements.  I was getting about 30 seconds of rest this round.  The Prodigy was getting much less.  It didn't have anything to do with her ability to switch plates quickly.  It wasn't like she grabbed a bad set of clips.  She just didn't know what an EMOM was.  When she had her barbell ready for round two, she picked it up and started to do a thruster.  Several of us yelled over to her to wait.  She dropped her barbell, unsure of what she had done wrong.  We explained to her that she had to wait for the clock to beep, as that would be the signal that the next minute had begun.  She smiled and looked a bit relieved.  After all, she was getting some extra rest she wasn't expecting.

The first 7 sets that I did weren't bad.  My first rep was always a cluster (squat clean into a thruster).  Then I went immediately into the second rep.  Those sets all took less than 10 seconds.  I got slower when it came to changing the plates on my barbell, but I never came close to bumping up against the buzzer for the next minute.  It wasn't until I reached 165 pounds that things got tough.  I had to power clean the barbell before performing my first thruster.  When I extended the barbell overhead, I needed to pause for a second before going into rep #2.  I hit the bottom of my squat and then pushed the barbell overhead one more time.  Only two rounds left, but the set at 165 let me know they were going to be very difficult.

The set at 175 was similar to the set at 165.  That left the final set at 185.  I didn't hurry when stripping the 15 and 5 pound plates off my barbell to replace them with a 25 pound plate.  I knew that even if I wasn't ready to go when the buzzer went off, this was the last round and I had the whole minute to complete my two reps.  The buzzer sounded and some members of class got right into their last 2 thrusters.  Others were like me and took a good 10-15 extra seconds before stepping back up to the barbell for their final encounter.  I began my last set with a power clean that wasn't too awful.  I made sure I felt comfortable before attempting the first thruster.  It did not go well.  For a moment, I thought I might not be able to fully press the barbell out at the top, but I got it there.  That was the good news.  The bad news was that the best place to rest when doing multiple thrusters is with the barbell overhead.  It took a lot of energy to get it up there.  Now I'd have to hold it there for a few more seconds before I was ready to try thruster #2.  When I felt ready to go, I let the barbell crash down on my body.  I hit the bottom of my squat and tried to spring right out of it.  Coming out of the squat was not a problem.  Pressing out the barbell was.  If I ever let it stop moving, I would have been screwed.  However, I never lost the momentum that I had built up from firing out of the squat.  It was a very slow press out, but thruster #2 was a success.  Final score: 185.

Had I taken a few days off and maybe got a massage or something before the cash-out, I think I would have approached it with a lot of confidence.  It wasn't a ton of thrusters.  The cash-out I had done with Bryan last week had given me an idea of how I would feel doing box jumps after an activity that included squats, so I was ready for that.  The deadlifts were super light, so I expected to blitz through those.  And I had been running more recently, so the two quarter-mile runs in this workout were not as daunting.  The problem for me was that I had done 16.1 the day before.  I was feeling the pain from all those lunges.  20 thrusters were going to hurt.  30 box jumps were going to hurt.  The run was going to hurt.  There was even a chance the light deadlifts could hurt.  And we were doing two rounds of all that!  My legs were going to be a mess at the end of this.

I was set up more towards the front of the gym and we were all facing the back of the gym.  That was nice because I got to see nearly everyone's progress as we did this cash-out.  I started off going 10-6-4 on the thrusters.  The box jumps seemed to be painful for everyone, so even though I had to break those 30 reps up into smallish sets, I did alright on those relative to the rest of the class.  When I got to the deadlifts, I was only behind Neil.  Those suckers were much worse than anticipated.  I thought I would get 40 reps done in two sets, but after 10 reps, I dropped the barbell.  Plan B: 4 sets.  The breaks I took in between sets of deadlifts were longer than the breaks I took during the thrusters and the box jumps.  My legs were in a lot of pain, but I was also starting to feel it in my back as well.  Neil headed out the door for the first run as I rested between my 3rd and 4th set.  Ashley was quicker than me on the deadlifts and she got out the door before me as well.

I told you how much Neil hates double unders when I recapped a recent partner WOD that I had done with him, but if there is one thing that Neil has loudly professed a hatred for at the gym, it would be running.  When I headed out on the 400 meter run, I wasn't sure if I'd catch Ashley, but I thought I'd definitely make up some ground on Neil.  Nope.  In fact, he might have stretched his lead over me on the run.  What the hell?  Running was the one thing that had acted as an equalizer in workouts that I did with Neil.  Now I didn't even have that?  The days of me being competitive with Neil might have come to an end already.

When I got back from the run, I went 10-6-4 yet again on the thrusters.  The box jumps were still very much a grind.  This time when I got to the deadlifts, I was behind both Neil and Ashley, so I knew they were going to be out the door way ahead of me.  I went with sets of 5 rather than 10 in round two.  That seemed to work out better because I was able to keep my breaks smaller.  I feel pretty certain that I did those 40 deadlifts quicker than the forty I did in the first round.  It didn't matter though.  I wasn't even halfway through the deadlifts when Neil went out for his last quarter-mile run.  I had at least two sets to go when Ashley left me behind.

I was sore everywhere as I headed out on my last run.  My greatest concern was my stiffening back.  It's hard to run with anything resembling decent form if your back tightens up.  I put my head down, pumped my arms, and hoped for the best.  It ended up going better than expected.  My stride seemed like it was lengthening over the last 100 meters as I sprinted (sorta) back into the gym.  Final time: 19:42.

I felt so good at the end of that run that I didn't lay down on the floor and rest.  I fist bumped Neil and Ashley, went to the doorway, and cheered on the rest of the class as they finished up.  I thought everyone was already out on the run, but as a couple people came in, John McHugh went running by us heading outbound.  I waited for the last few of my classmates to get to the finish line before jogging out to meet John.  He's run with me at the end of workouts numerous times and this was my chance to return the favor.  I met up with him about 150 meters from the finish and we ran it in together from there.

Class was supposed to end at 8:30, but we hung around until 9:15.  Various groups of people were chatting away.  When one conversation ended, people moved around and talked to someone else.  There was a really good vibe in the gym that night.  It didn't feel like folks were there to do the workout and then hurry home.  It felt like no one wanted to leave, that everyone was genuinely enjoying each other's company so much that they lost track of time.  It was great to experience, but it also made me nostalgic.  This type of thing happened so much more back in the day.  Now it seemed pretty rare.  I could only hope that it would become commonplace again.

Wednesday preview: Actuary Mike, Neil, and I scare off a potential classmate.  Neil's Crossfit spreadsheet is the stuff of legend.  I discover that I may be trying too hard when it comes to wall balls.

Officially Obese

Workout date: 10/2/17

It wasn't a good weekend for parties.  On Friday, I went to the KOP End of Summer party.  It used to be my second favorite event on the KOP calendar, but this year's edition seemed to fall flat.  I didn't attend this party last year, so I can't speak as to whether there was a difference between that one and the one I went to on Friday, but compared to the End of Summer parties I had been to in years past, this one felt like it lacked a spark.  We don't take attendance at the End of Summer party, but it seemed to me that less people were there than usual.  Later on, more people trickled in, but they didn't seem to be keen on participating.  Even some of those who were there at the beginning (myself included) started to migrate to the lobby at a certain point.

That wasn't the most awkward party of the weekend for me though.  A buddy of mine is getting married in November and his bachelor party was on Saturday.  As I did a month ago, I got on the road early Saturday morning and drove all the way up to Saratoga.  There were no ponies to bet on, but there was a beer and music festival going on at the track and that was stop #1 for the bachelor party.  (Note: I had no idea other events were held at the track when racing season was over.  What a fantastic idea!  Although I did have to be restrained from betting on random things while attending the festival.)  That part of the bachelor party wasn't so bad, but there were a lot of other things that went down that made me feel old.  Here are a few:

1. Before we got on the road to drive to the festival, one member of our group said that we needed to stop at Walgreen's to pick up Pepto Bismol.  That's how every great bachelor party starts, right?
2. After the festival, we regrouped at the hotel that a bunch of the guys were staying at.  We all huddled into one room to hang out for a bit.  There was a giant clear jug with liquid in it.  I suspected it was some alcoholic concoction.  It was not.  I was told that it was "adult pedialyte" and that I was more than welcome to have some.  Hard pass.
3. At around 9:30, we were out at a bar.  Having gotten up super early to drive 5 hours, I started yawning.  My solution was to stop drinking beer and to switch to rum and coke.  (Another buddy who didn't go was highly amused by this.  He suggested that most people would go for coffee if they needed caffeine.  I countered that this was a bachelor party and any form of caffeine needed to be accompanied by alcohol.)  I was maybe two sips into my rum and coke when I heard that a bunch of people were thinking about calling it a night.  My ride was in that group, so I guzzled down the remainder of my drink and headed back to my buddy's house.

I drove back home on Sunday evening.  On Monday morning, I went to the doctor for my twice-a-year visit.  He didn't tell me I was old.  He told me I was fat.  My doctor is big on getting his patients to lose weight and he has told me several times that I was dangerously close to being obese according to my BMI.  I don't think they accurately measure my weight because they weigh me right when I walk in, so I'm fully clothed and have my wallet, keys, and cell phone on me, inflating my true weight.  Compared to what my scale at home tells me, their measurement is always about 8 pounds higher.  On my last two visits to the doctor, I tipped the scales at 215. This time I weighed 222 (so really 214).  My doctor informed me that my 7 pounds of weight gain had made me officially obese.  Hooray!  Usually he would follow such news by launching into me about dropping some pounds, but this time he paused.  He looked me over and admitted that I didn't look heavier.  He asked me if I thought I might have put on muscle.  I told him that I would love to believe that, but it probably wasn't true.  All things considered, he went easy on me about my weight. He advocated better portion control and told me that he wanted me to fall below the obese range when he saw me in 6 months.

Some additional exercise couldn't hurt my pursuit of being slimmer, so I headed to the Monday 6:30 class at KOP.  Giulz would be coaching 12 athletes this evening, which was probably going to be tricky given the WOD we were doing.  The workout programmed for Monday was one that we hadn't seen in about 18 months.  It was the first Open workout of 2016.  Here's how we kicked off the Open a year ago:

Open Workout 16.1

20 minute AMRAP

25 ft overhead walking lunge (95/65)

8 burpees over the barbell

25 ft overhead walking lunge

8 chest-to-bar pull-ups

*Every 5 ft of overhead walking lunge = 1 rep

When this WOD was announced last year, it became a logistical nightmare for Crossfit boxes around the world.  This wasn't going to be a workout where 10 people could do it at a time.  Every athlete needed their own fairly wide lane to complete their overhead walking lunges.  Those lanes had to be about 30 ft long (25 ft for lunges and some additional room at one end for burpees).  Each athlete needed their own pull-up bar as well.  We're very lucky at KOP to have a large gym, but even we had to be creative to squeeze in 6 or 7 people per heat when this all went down.  Jump ahead 18 months later and we had 12 people in a class that wasn't long enough to run multiple heats.  How was that gonna work?

My guess was that this would become a partner WOD.  I wouldn't be heartbroken if that was the case.  This was one of those workouts that dragged on and on.  If we changed it so that one partner did a round while the other partner rested, it would probably result in a workout where we could push the pace for the entirety of the 20 minutes.  Giulz had a different solution though.  This was meant to be a re-test of 16.1 for those of us who took part in the Open a year ago.  Making this a partner WOD would defeat the purpose of having this workout programmed again.  So Giulz split us up into two groups.  Those who had done 16.1 previously went to the near end of the gym.  Those who had not went to the far end.  The folks at the far end were going to do a scale of this workout that would require less space.  As for the rest of us, we would have lanes of some length.  Those of us closer to the lobby had full lanes.  The athletes that were closer to the bathrooms would have abbreviated lanes.  They would be lunging in place (25 ft was approximately 8 full lunges) for the overhead part of this workout.

I was part of the lucky group that had a full lane, but things were still very tight in the area that I was working.  Mike was to my left and Tia was to my right.  When we warmed up on the overhead lunges, it seemed like our barbells were going to collide with one another as we lunged, but we had a tiny amount of space between them.  There were no issues on the burpees, but I was very concerned that I would kick Mike on the pull-up rig when I did my chest-to-bar pull-ups.  I told him that I had no problems waiting on him to do his chest-to-bar pull-ups because he was going to be much faster than me, but he didn't think that was necessary.  We'd figure it out a compromise as the workout progressed.

It was finally a cool night at the gym, so I decided to be a lot more aggressive in my approach.  This was a long workout, but I was going to go guns blazing right from the start.  I knew that the overhead walking lunge would be something that I'd do very well.  If I could do a quick first round of burpees, then maybe I could build a lead on Mike that would help me complete the chest-to-bar pull-ups before he got to the pull-up rig.  I'd be solving our congestion problem immediately.  That was my hope anyways.

I did move extremely fast during round one.  I marched towards the whiteboard with my barbell overhead.  I got to the 25 ft mark and bounced through the burpees as quick as I could.  I was more wobbly on the lunges to the pull-up rig, but I never needed to stop.  This would be the pattern through the entire workout.  The lunges toward the whiteboard were easy because I had done chest-to-bar pull-ups just before them and those didn't take a toll on your legs.  The lunges away from the whiteboard were difficult because you had just done a bunch of burpees and those definitely affected your legs.

I had a decent lead on Mike when I got to the pull-up rig, so I tried to hurry and complete my 8 chest-to-bar pull-ups before he got there.  I had 6 reps completed by the time he returned.  I think he knew I was almost done, so he took his time transitioning to the chest-to-bar pull-ups.  That pause he took before beginning allowed me to finish my last 2 reps.  I got out of his way and started my next set of overhead walking lunges.  First round time: 2:15.

I fell 5 reps short of 6 full rounds when I did this in March 2016, so I was hoping to complete the 6th round this time around.  That super fast first round put me well ahead of the pace I would need to accomplish that goal.  Unfortunately, there was no chance I'd keep up that pace.  At the end of round two, the clock was close to 5:30.  At the end of round three, it was near 9:30.  4 minute rounds weren't going to cut it.  I needed to find a way to bring it back down to the 3:30 range if I wanted to get 6 rounds.

I had plenty of motivation to keep moving.  I got one full section ahead of Mike during round one, but that was as big as my lead would get.  Every time I looked up and saw Mike, it seemed like he was about to catch me.  That would inspire me to pick up the pace as much as I could.  I wanted to maintain that one section lead if only so we didn't have a dilemma to deal with at the pull-up rig.

The clock was closing in on 14 minutes when I finished round 4.  At the beginning of round 5, Tia and I marched towards the whiteboard together.  I got to the end of my lane first and began doing some slow burpees.  Tia reached the end of her lane and dropped her barbell.  It crashed into mine, rotating my barbell so that it was diagonal to the magic platform.  She apologized to me, but it didn't throw me off at all.  I was so tired that I just started falling on my belly at an angle to match the direction of my barbell.  I did the remainder of my burpees this way.

I likely told myself that the chest-to-bar pull-ups I was doing at the end of round five were the last ones that I'd have to do.  That's the only way I can explain completing the fifth round quicker than I completed the fourth round.  I was back to a four minute clip for round five, leaving me two minutes to get some work done in round 6.  I tried not to take too long before getting my barbell overhead because I knew I could get the lunges done fast.  When I reached the end of my lane, I tried to duplicate the burpees I had done way back in round one.  That was a pipe dream.  After the 2nd burpee, I needed to stop.  After the 3rd burpee, I needed to stop.  Each time my chest hit the floor, I was knocking the wind out of my lungs and there wasn't much in there to begin with.  The same thing was happening on the chest-to-bar pull-ups, which explains why those gradually took longer and longer to complete.

Giulz was counting down how much time we had left and I began to worry that I wouldn't finish the burpees.  I didn't allow myself to stop on the remaining five burpees.  I had a few seconds left when I completed the burpees, so I hopped up, got the barbell overhead and did two quick lunges to get past the 5 ft mark.  That earned me one extra rep.  Final score: 5+14 (144 reps).

That was 7 reps less than my original score on 16.1, but overall I was pretty happy with my performance.  I took 10 minutes to recover from the workout before continuing on with Endurance.  A couple weeks ago, I ran a mile and a half after class to get some extra cardio work done.  That was six trips along the 400 meter loop.  Tonight I would be doing eight loops, making it a full two miles.  Once again, I wasn't timing my run, although an encounter I had at the end of my run made me wish that I had.

When I ran 1.5 miles after class a couple weeks back, I remember getting to the 3rd or 4th loop and thinking that I might prefer to stop after a mile rather than do all 6 loops.  I didn't have those thoughts during this run.  No one was confusing me for Usain Bolt as I trudged back and forth over and over again, but there was no point where I considered doing less than two miles.  

At the end of each loop, I'd touch the door of the gym before heading back out.  Actuary Mike was practicing chest-to-bar pull-ups during Open Strength and he had a perfect view of me running back and forth.  He had a confused look on his face as he saw me continually running towards the gym but never coming back in.  With the 8th loop complete, I could finally head back inside.  All I wanted was to replenish my fluids, so I sat down, took a bottle of water from my bag, and began to chug it.  Mike came over and asked me "did you just run 5 miles?"  Damn.  Was I gone that long?  To be fair to Mike (who is an excellent runner), it might have taken me the same amount of time to run 2 miles after class as it would take him to run 5 miles fresh.  But no, I couldn't claim that I ran that far.  Two miles was plenty for me.

Tuesday preview: Dudes After Dark actually takes place after dark.  We learn about a new athlete in class.  The Prodigy learns what an EMOM is.  I learn that Neil is a runner.