Little Finger Thingies

Workout date: 4/19/17

While at the Taphouse last month, Bryan, Samson, and I began talking about movies and TV shows that we liked.  Bryan brought up Silicon Valley, a comedy on HBO that I began watching when it debuted, but for some reason ended up ditching for other TV shows.  (I blame our constantly clogged Tivo.)  I didn't think it was a bad show, so when Bryan enthusiastically endorsed it, I decided to go back and give it another try.  This time I got hooked.  I've since caught up on all of the episodes (season 4 just began).  Why am I bringing this up?  The main character, Richard, has an oddball doctor that he visits frequently.  Without fail, the doctor manages to say a variety of inappropriate things while Richard sits on his examination table.  I began seeing a new doctor in September and I believe he may have been the inspiration for the character on the show.  I won't share the gems he's laid on me during my last two visits as they are of a personal nature and likely would gross you out as much as they would make you laugh.  But suffice it to say, the guy holds nothing back.

This doctor of mine is big on weight loss, so when I've come in to see him, he's hammered home how much I need to drop some pounds.  20-25 pounds is what he's looking for.  At my most recent appointment, he implored me to begin doing cardio for longer amounts of time, whether that be running or rowing longer distances.  I decided to begin my Wednesday by following doctor's orders.  I have a rower at home and when I first got it, I thought I'd be on it all the time like I was a long-lost Underwood on House of Cards (another good show to watch!).  However, the rower has gone the way of most people's home exercise equipment, sitting in a room mostly unused.  On Wednesday morning, I dusted it off for a 5,000 meter row.  I think I've only rowed that distance once before and my time was 21:53 (at least that's what my spreadsheet tells me).  I wanted to row something closer to 20 minutes this time around.  A 2:00 pace per 500 meters is kind of a standard benchmark and if I could hold that pace for 5,000 meters, it would work out to 20 minutes.  Did I think I could do that?  Not really.  I've broken 8 minutes for 2,000 meters, but that has required a solid push at the end.  My goal was to maintain that 2:00 pace per 500 meters for as long as I could during this row.

Since there is very little to recap on a long row, I'll simply give you my splits at various points in the row:

• 1,000 meters - 3:53 (7 seconds under goal pace)
• 2,500 meters - 10:04 (4 seconds over goal pace, 6:11 for last 1,500 meters)
• 4,000 meters - 16:16 (16 seconds over goal pace, 6:12 for last 1,500 meters)
• 5,000 meters - 20:13.1 (13 seconds over goal pace, 3:57 for last 1,000 meters)

There were several moments during the middle of that row where my pace began to deteriorate and I had to push myself to get the per 500 meter time on the monitor back down to the 2:00-2:05 range.  I was tired and sweaty when I got to the last 1,000 meters, but I wasn't exhausted.  I was able to finish fairly strong with a final 1,000 meters that rivaled my first 1,000 meters.  I'll be tossing more longer distance rows into my workout routine over the next few months.  Hopefully I'll lose a few pounds and my doctor will have less material to wisecrack about.

He'd be happy to know that I did a workout in the morning and a workout in the evening.  I headed to the 7:30 class for a workout that had a very familiar feel to it.  In January and April, we've had a workout where we spent the first part of class finding a 5RM back squat.  That was followed by two cash-outs, the first of which called on us to do as many back squats as we could in a minute using a percentage of our 5RM.  Along with trying to put up as high of a score as possible, we were told to try our best not to put the barbell back on the rack until the minute was up.  The Wednesday WOD was the front squat version of this workout.  We'd start by establishing a 2RM for our front squat.  Then we'd be doing 1 minute of front squats with 60% of the 2RM we found.  Keeping with the spirit of the back squat workout, there was a second cash-out after that.  We'd be doing 50 GHD sit-ups, although we could do them at any pace we wanted since it wasn't for time.

I arrived about 5 minutes early for class and Coach Jenna had two messages for me from Neil, who had gone to the 5:30 class.  First, he was upset that I wasn't there to push him during his front squat attempts.  (He got 2 reps at 285, so it appears he was plenty motivated on his own!)  Second, he had put my "little finger thingies" on one of the shelves behind the GHD machines.  It took me a second, but then I realized that he must have been referring to the grips I wear during pull-up workouts.  I had worn them at Dudes After Dark, but I must have forgotten to put them in my bag before I left.

After retrieving my grips and putting them in my bag, I joined Bryan and Julie Foucher for the beginning of the 7:30 class.  We went out for a run to start, but when we came back, we were treated to one of my favorite warmups: Crossfit basketball.  We were given a light medicine ball, Jenna flipped over one of the boxes we use for box jumps, and we were tasked with making a shot or facing a penalty of some sort.  I didn't really care about the penalties.  I was playing this game the way I used to play when Chris D was at our gym.  Every shot would be some ridiculously high-arcing shot that would look cool if it went in.  Except none of my shots went in.  Julie made a bunch of hers and Bryan made some as well, but I was shut out.  That just tells me that Crossfit basketball needs to be played more at our gym as I was clearly out of practice.

With our hoops game concluded, it was time to front squat.  The board said we should do six working sets, so I figured out what I wanted my progression to be.  My 2RM for the front squat was 265 pounds and that led me to come up with a progression of 185-205-225-245-260-275.  I could make reasonable jumps from one set to the next and it allowed me to take a shot at a new PR at the end if everything went well.  There were two cash-outs following these lifts, so I didn't want to spend a lot of time with warmup sets.  I did my usual set at 135 pounds to begin before getting into my working sets.

Because each set was only two reps long, there isn't too much to say about how the sets went.  From 185 to 205 to 225 to 245, the story was the same.  I grabbed the barbell from the rack, confidently performed the first rep, took a moment to make sure my form was good when I came up from that initial rep, then confidently performed the second rep.  The barbell didn't really begin to feel heavy until that set at 245, but I wasn't too concerned about getting the next set at 260.  The last set at 275 might be another matter.

I had moved fast enough through my sets that I had some extra time to watch Bryan and Julie.  Bryan sounded like he had some doubts about how successful he would be as he added more weight to his barbell after each set, but he didn't look like he was having much trouble from what I could see.  He never got stuck at the bottom of any of his reps and the only time I saw him grimace was at the very end of his sets.  He wound up getting a new PR of 175 pounds.

Smile, Bryan!  The tough part is over.

Have I mentioned that Julie is 8 months pregnant and continues to crush workout after workout?  It's been fascinating to watch.  I'm probably making too much of the fact that she is with child.  After all, it's not like she wasn't a great athlete before she became pregnant.  She's been kicking my butt at 7:30 classes for well over 8 months.  Still, I find myself watching her now, thinking how if I was in her shoes, I'd use being pregnant as an excuse not to exercise.  Not Julie.  She seems legitimately bummed right now that she can't do rope climbs and handstand push-ups.  Here's a picture of her doing a set at 155 pounds as her male counterparts look on in awe:

How is she doing that?

As for me, I moved on to the set at 260 pounds and was told that it looked "easy".  It certainly didn't feel that way, but I didn't get stuck on either rep, so I guess it looked better than it felt.  With no issues up to this point, I was feeling pretty good about my chances at 275 pounds.  The first rep at 275 was difficult, but my elbows didn't drop as I stood up with it.  That was usually the giveaway that I was going to fail on a set, so I was relieved it didn't happen here.  There was no chance I was getting through the entire strength session without a struggle, so it was no surprise that I got stuck on the second rep.  It was only a brief hiccup though and I was able to stand up the weight to complete my set.  275 would be my new 2RM for the front squat.

Elbows up, below parallel, goofy ass face

It was time for the first cash-out  While Bryan and I were killing time between sets earlier, we started talking to Faby about how it was going to be a lot tougher to hold on for a full minute of front squats than it was when we did the back squat version of this cash-out.  Faby pointed out that it might be easier to complete the cash-out by holding the barbell with your hands crossed up near your neck.  (What does that look like?  Imagine someone trying to convey that they are choking.  Or picture someone mid-Macarena.)  This technique would take a lot of the pressure off of your arms and it would keep your elbows high.  You just had to make sure that you didn't start tilting forward.  It was solid advice.  Did I remember to use it when we did the first cash-out?  Or course not.

Jenna told us that the best score of the day was 23 reps if we were feeling competitive.  I was not, but once we got going, I started to change my mind.  I was moving through my front squats with 165 pounds very quickly.  When Jenna called out that 30 seconds had elapsed, I had 13 reps already.  The top score of the day was in my grasp!  What was slowly falling from my grasp was my barbell.  I began to have a really had time keeping my elbows up and the barbell began to slide off of the front of my body during each rep.  I had to re-grip at the top of each rep, which slowed me down a lot.  I was desperately hoping for time to be up, but when I looked at the clock, there was still 10 seconds to go.  I attempted front squat #18 and was barely able to keep the barbell pinned to my body.  I couldn't do any more.  With 5 seconds left, I walked towards my rack.  Then it hit me.  I wasn't allowed to put the barbell down early.  That might have been the longest 5 seconds I've experienced at the gym.  Arms shaking, trying to hold on to the barbell, unable to use the rack just inches in front of me.  Jenna called time and I immediately dumped the barbell on to the rack.  I was glad that grip strength wasn't necessary in the second cash-out or I would have been completely screwed.

The second cash-out was 50 GHD sit-ups (not for time).  Jenna let us know that if we were feeling competitive, she could run the timer for us.  (I'm not sure why we looked so competitive to Jenna, but she kept giving us the "if you're feeling competitive" option.)  None of us were, so the clock remained off.  Julie couldn't do the GHD sit-ups, so we made a deal where she would do a plank whenever Bryan and I were working on the GHD.  The two of us did sets of 10 at a time.  Bryan stopped after the 3rd set, so for my 4th set, I did all of my remaining 20 sit-ups.  Form on the sets of 10: very good.  Form on the set of 20: kinda sloppy.  I wasn't worried about maintaining my good form because I had definitely reached the point in the night where I just wanted to go home.

Thursday preview: One of the most aggravating workouts that I've ever done at KOP.  Too many athletes, not enough space, and at least one person in class who couldn't give a damn whether she was in my way or not.  Poor Matt B probably thought I was a crazy person by the end of it.

Short Jokes

Workout date: 4/18/17

Monday night's workout was all about crushing our legs, so it wasn't too surprising to see that Tuesday's WOD was arm-focused.  I remember that last year we had some weeks at the gym where there would be 3 or 4 workouts in a row that targeted the same muscle group, leaving us unable to walk or pick up groceries by the time the weekend rolled around.  This year there seems to be a better mix of workouts throughout the week.  Speaking of a better mix, it was nice to see the bench press thrown into the rotation.  Admittedly, it is difficult to work the bench press into a metcon-type WOD, but I would argue that the bench press is the lift that people generally are most familiar with.  Wall ascents and atlas stones aren't easy to work into metcons either, but we make that work, so why not have more bench press days?  2017 just might be the year when bench press becomes more prevalent at KOP.

Tuesday night means two things:

1. Dudes After Dark
2. Lots of pull-ups

I'm not sure how this trend developed, but I've started blaming Ms. January for it.  I see her at the start of every Dudes After Dark right as I'm putting on my grips and she always has this grin on her face that seems to be saying "glad I'm not doing all those pull-ups".  (That grin might also be saying "SUCKA!")  Two weeks ago, we had the time-capped workout where we were supposed to do 105 pull-ups.  Last week, we had the 20 minute workout that included chest-to-bar pull-ups (most people did 50).  Since variety is the spice of life, we had L pull-ups as part of this Tuesday's WOD.  What are L pull-ups?  They are strict pull-ups with your legs directly out in front of you (so your body is shaped like an L).  You need a lot of upper body strength and tight control of your core muscles to be able to do them.  Do those sound like things I have?  Yeah, not so much.

Here's a look at the details of this workout:

Tuesday's WOD:

15 minute AMRAP

15 bench press (135/95)

10 L pull-ups

There were 5 of us joining LC for Dudes After Dark (Cline, The Prodigy, Neil, Andrew, and myself).  LC told us to grab a light medicine ball and go out for an 800 meter Indian run (person at the back sprints up to the front, repeat over and over and over again).  Usually the last person goes for their sprint as soon as the new leader of the conga line is established, but this warmup would be different.  That light medicine ball was being tossed back through the line and the person in the back couldn't go until they had the ball.  It took about 150 meters or so before everyone got comfortable blindly tossing the ball up in the air, trusting that the person behind them would run up to where the tosser just was in order to catch the ball.  By the time we were headed back towards the gym, Cline felt comfortable enough with the group that he was tossing it over people's heads to those in the back to speed up the process.  As we passed the annex, the ball was being tossed to me and I saw LC up by the side door of the gym.  Rather than pass it back again, I sprinted to the front of the line and kept going.  As I jetted towards the entrance of the gym, I hurled the medicine ball at an unsuspecting LC. (It was funnier in my mind than it turned out to be in practice.)  I got some strange looks from the rest of the group once they got to the gym, but sometimes you just need to change things up at Dudes After Dark.

LC asked us to pick out a bench and an area on the pull-up rig to do whatever form of pull-ups we chose for this workout (only Andrew was able to do L pull-ups).  The Prodigy seemed conflicted about which bench she was going to use and she asked me which one I wanted.  I didn't care, but she didn't want to pick.  So I chose the one in the middle of the gym for her.  She'd be able to use a low bar for the pull-ups without bumping into anyone else and that bench was lower to the ground than any of the others.  When I pointed that out, she asked me if I was making short jokes at her expense.  I was not.  LC then came over and let The Prodigy know that she needed to raise her bench higher because she would not be able to reach her barbell if she laid on it at its current height.  I suggested putting 20" boxes underneath each leg of the bench.  (Now I was making short jokes.  How long did you expect me to hold out?)

The Prodigy would be doing banded pull-ups for this workout, while Cline, Neil, and myself would be attempting to do strict pull-ups.  Luckily, I had some recent practice with strict pull-ups as a result of doing them with Josh M after some of the Monday classes I had been to.  I certainly wasn't looking forward to doing a lot of them, but I wasn't as intimidated by the prospect of having to do strict pull-ups as I would have been without that extra practice.  As for the bench press, I decided that scaling the weight would be a good idea.  I know that I've done 15 consecutive reps with 135 pounds before, but this wasn't one set I was doing.  I was doing a 15 minute workout where my arms were not only going to get tired from the bench press.  They were going to be destroyed from the strict pull-ups as well.  With that in mind, I felt the saner way to go for this WOD was to drop down to 115 pounds, a weight I felt that I could move even if I got tired.

There wasn't a whole lot to go over in terms of the mechanics of the workout.  For the bench press, you took the barbell off the rack, brought it down to your chest, then pushed it back up to where you started.  For the strict pull-up, you hung from the bar and pulled yourself up without using a kip.  You'd be hard pressed to find a workout with less complexity than this one.  With there being no good reason to delay any further, LC got us started on the early side.  The five of us laid on our respective benches and LC started the clock.

I mentioned that I had experience doing 15 consecutive reps of bench press at 135 pounds, so I knew that I could go unbroken during that first round with 115 pounds.  I decided against it though.  This workout reminded me of WODs that include dips.  Once your triceps go on the dips, it's hard to get them to respond again.  You end up stuck.  You can't push through workouts like that.  You have to wait until your body is willing to comply again.  I didn't want my arms to be dead 2 minutes into this workout, so I decided to break things up early.  I did 10 reps of the bench press, placed my barbell on the rack, and shook out my arms.  I didn't care if I was the last one to the pull-ups.  I had a good sense of my limitations on this WOD.  When I felt ready again, I did the last 5 reps.  I headed to my pull-up bar with my arms feeling relatively fresh.

Having recently done three sets of 5 strict pull-ups after a Monday WOD, I had hopes of doing two sets of 5 to complete this first round.  That didn't happen.  My first set was a respectable 4 reps.  Not too shabby.  I could do two sets of 3 reps and be on my way back to the bench press.  Or not.  I fell one rep short of the plan during my second set, unable to do more than 2 consecutive reps.  From that point on, I knew I wasn't going to be able to do more than 2 in a row.  I took my time and made sure I got two more sets of 2 reps.  The clock showed that we were about 3:15 into this workout.  Four rounds was a possibility if I could maintain sets of 2 on the pull-up bar.

On my second round of the bench press, I was thinking about breaking it up into a set of 8 and 7, but then I ended up doing 9 reps in the first set.  Maybe I got confused and thought I was still front squatting from the day before.  After a break, I polished off the remaining 6 reps and came back to the pull-up bar.  I was able to keep my streak of 2 strict pull-ups at a time going for a little bit.  The breaks between sets definitely got longer.  I had to struggle to get the second rep of my third set, so I switched to singles for the last 4 reps.  The clock had just ticked past 7 minutes as I came back to the bench press again.  I was still under the pace I needed for 4 full rounds, but I suspected I was going to fall short of that mark.  Those strict pull-ups were starting to fade away and I envisioned needing more and more rest if I was going to complete them.

I figured my only shot at getting 4 rounds done was to pick up the pace on the bench press.  I went 9 and 6 again for my two sets, but I took less of a break in between.  At the pull-up bar, I was able to do a set of 2 to lead off my third round.  After some rest, I tried for another two.  Got the first one, didn't get the second one.  It was my first no rep of the workout.  It wouldn't be the last.  As I shook out my arms, I decided that trying for more sets of two was foolish.  It would be nothing but singles until I reached 15 minutes.  It also dawned on me that if I was only doing singles, it might benefit me to switch to a monkey grip (hands over the bar rather than around the bar) to decrease the range of motion needed.  Slowly, I did 6 more singles using the monkey grip.  When I went up to do the 10th rep, I was unable to get my chin up over the bar.  Another no rep.  Dropping to singles had finished off my chances of completing 4 full rounds, but these no reps were now making me wonder how big of a dent I could make in that fourth round.  After another long break, I was able to get the 10th strict pull-up of round three.

The clock was beyond 13 minutes now, so I had to hurry to get whatever reps in that I could at this point.  My first set at the bench press was (altogether now) NINE reps.  I thought that I'd simply repeat what I had done in rounds two and three and finish off the remaining six in my second set.  Instead my arms began to give out after 4 reps.  Rather than chance dropping the barbell on my chest, I racked it for a second time and shook out my arms some more.  The last two reps were not a problem, but I now had less than a minute to sneak in some strict pull-ups.

With the clock heading towards 15 minutes, I had some extra adrenaline pumping in me.  That's the only way I can explain how fluidly I did the first two singles on the pull-up bar.  The third rep was a struggle, but I gently placed my chin on top of the pull-up bar right before I dropped back to the floor.    I hopped back up to do a 4th rep, but I didn't come very close.  Another no rep.  I knew I had reached the point where my arms needed a break, but there was only 10 seconds left in the workout.  I stubbornly jumped up and tried again, but all my strength was gone.  After a brief struggle, I came down from the pull-up bar.  That was it for me.  Final score: 3+18.

Oddly enough, this was a workout where we all scored about the same.  The Prodigy had 3+19, Neil had 3+18, and Cline had 3+14.  The exception was Andrew, who is a beast.  He basically doubled our scores by putting up 6+24.  There was no cash-out planned, but someone (Andrew, I think) started joking about doing a partner race to 50 calories on the ski erg.  Having no arm strength left, that would have taken me forever.  However, this suggestion got the wheels turning in LC's head.  She suggested substituting the assault bike for the ski erg and doing a similar cash-out.  Andrew and Cline would be one team (with The Prodigy playing the role of siamese twin), while Neil and I would be the other team.  We were doing a race to 50 calories on the assault bike.  While one teammate pedaled, the other teammate would do sit-ups.

The strategy for Neil and I was to minimize transitions, so we decided to simply do 25 calories each.  Neil would go first and I'd be the anchor.  I'm not entirely sure what Andrew and Cline's strategy was, but I think it was probably Andrew leading off with 20 calories, Cline handling the next 20 calories, and then Andrew finishing off the last 10 calories.  That's purely a guess, but it's the best I could come up with based on how the cash-out played out.  Andrew and Neil sprinted on their bikes.  Andrew jumped off and tagged Cline in.  Neil completed his 25 calories, but Cline jumped off of his bike a few seconds afterwards.  I thought I had a solid sprint going when Andrew yelled "done".  I thought he was kidding, but they were actually at 50 calories already.  My monitor read 37 calories.  I tried not to slow down at all, but I'm sure I would have pedaled faster if I was racing someone during those last 13 calories.  Final time for me and Neil: 2:24.

Another Dudes After Dark was in the books.  I was already dreading doing pull-ups next Tuesday night.

Wednesday preview: My doctor says I need to lose weight and do more cardio, so I get on the rower at home.  The WOD is the front squat version of a back squat workout we recently did.  Dessert will be served on the GHD machine.

KOP Catwalk Team

Workout date: 4/17/17

It has become rare for me to cherry-pick my workouts.  There are all sorts of things that I struggle with at the gym, but that doesn't stop me from showing up and stubbornly taking them on.  However, there is a special circle in hell for the worst of humanity and in that circle, the damned must do EMOMs for eternity.  I'd need a really compelling reason to do them while I'm still on this earth.  To that end, when I saw that the Thursday WOD was a 21-15-9 rep scheme of tall box jumps, handstand push-ups, and GHD sit-ups where you also had to do 5 burpees every minute on the minute, I decided to begin my weekend early.

Plans with Jenn on Friday kept me from stopping by KOP and Saturday was a day for cheerleading at the gym rather than working out.  Girls On Girls VI was being held at KOP and the home gym had 9 teams of ladies participating.  I even got to name one of them.  Raj and Kris had joined forces to form "Better Than Danley McGambone", a tribute to their rivalry with fellow KOP athletes Danielle Gambone and Ashley McLeod.  Fittingly, Raj and Kris finished in 5th place in the Scaled division, one spot ahead of Danielle and Ashley.  (Technically they finished in 4th as they did very well in the championship WOD and moved up a spot.)  Danielle and Ashley now have a picture of me on their dart board.

There was an in-house rivalry on the RX side as well.  Aimee and Cate are a force in any competition they enter, but LC and Maggie weren't gonna let them be dubbed the top team from KOP without a fight.  Early on, LC and Maggie had the lead, with LC putting up a 220-pound clean and jerk (ridiculous!) with Maggie hitting a PR of her own at 180 pounds.  Aimee and Cate got revenge in the second WOD, edging out LC and Maggie.  Going into the third WOD, LC and Maggie had a slim lead on Aimee and Cate.  As they battled it out in adjoining lanes, the two teams kept passing the lead back and forth depending on which movement they were on.  When time was called, it was no surprise to find out they tied on the final workout.  That was enough to land LC and Maggie in 4th place, but Aimee and Cate would end up as the Danley McGambones of the RX division, finishing in 6th.  Things did not go as well as hoped in the Championship WOD for LC and Maggie, and they would slide to 5th place at the end of the day.

I could have worked out on Easter Sunday, but...I didn't.  I just didn't.  Don't even have a good excuse.  Guess some habits are just hard to break.  It wasn't until Monday that I came back into the gym.  I hit up the 6:30 class like I normally do.  To my surprise, there were only 8 of us there for class.  I often preach that the worst WODs are the ones with mandatory rest included.  It wasn't a good sign for the 8 of us that we would be getting a 5 minute break in the middle of this workout.  Here's what we'd be facing:

Monday's WOD:
3 rounds of
15 power snatches (75/55)
25 front squats (75/55)
*5 minute rest period
Then 3 rounds of
12 deadlifts (275/185)
Calories on the rower (15/12)

Coach Giulz had us start off our warmup on the rower where she told us to try getting 10 calories with the damper at different settings.  The lesson learned?  That it takes about the same amount of time to row 10 calories no matter what setting the damper is on.  So you should put the damper on the setting you feel most comfortable with.  Sadly, the row was the least of my worries when it came to this workout.  Doing medium-sized sets of heavy deadlifts while tired was higher up on my list of concerns.  As for the first section of the workout, I thought I could grind through all of that at a reasonable pace.  There were 10 less reps of the snatches each round, but those would likely be tougher as 75 pounds was a very light front squat weight for me.  Or so I thought.

There were still rowers set up from the 5:30 class, so we ended up having about 10 rowers at the far end of the gym.  They were organized in 5 pairs, with one rower facing head on with its counterpart.  As a result, there should have been no issues with grabbing someone else's rower during the workout.  <Angry foreshadowing>  As far as the barbells were concerned, we were only allowed one.  In the first segment of the workout, we'd be using the same weight for the power snatches and the front squats.  Then we'd need to add weight to our barbell for the deadlifts during our 5 minute rest period.  I'm kinda slow about changing plates during workouts, but even I don't need more than 5 minutes to add weight to a barbell.

Giulz covered the proper form for the power snatches, the front squats, and the deadlifts before having us get ourselves organized for the workout.  We were allowed to grab the extra plates that we'd need for the deadlifts and lay them near our barbell.  Giulz also made us perform several reps of the power snatches and the front squats with the weight we were planning on using in the workout to prove that we had chosen the weight that was right for us.  Just before we got started, Giulz told us what Keithie had done in an earlier class.  He had strung the first 15 power snatches, brought the barbell to his shoulders, flipped his grip, and proceeded on to the front squats.  She told us that if we wanted to be cool, we should pull off the same trick.  Noted.

The quest to be cool started out promising enough.  I hung on through all 15 power snatches.  I had to bring the barbell down to my waist in order to change my grip, but what I lost in style points here, I tried to make up for with a little flip into a hang squat clean to begin my front squats.  I hung on for 9 front squats before taking my first break.  That would be my favorite number in this workout for some strange reason.  For all three rounds of the front squats, I would begin with two sets of 9 reps before completing the remaining 7 reps in a final set.  As for the power snatches, those would also require three sets in each of the last two rounds.  I broke them up into 5 reps per set.

All of that might sound well-organized.  It might sound like I didn't struggle too much.  That couldn't be further from the truth.  I knew I was in trouble the first time I put down my barbell.  Not only was I breathing heavily, a glance around the room let me know that I was the first one to require rest.  Maybe I wasn't ready for a workout like this one after 4 days off.  Maybe it was the fact that I still wasn't 100% healthy yet (when will this congestion go away?).  Whatever the case may be, I was having a hard time recovering between sets.  Most of the earlier times in the day hovered around the 20 minute mark, but I would have to wait until almost the 16 minute mark to begin the second half of this workout after needing close to 11 minutes to finish the power snatches and front squats.

I was pretty sick of my barbell at that point, so I decided to begin my 5 minute intermission by walking over to the rower I used in the warmup and getting it set up for the second half of this workout.  I made sure the monitor was set to calories.  I slid the footholds to where I wanted them.  I moved the damper to the setting that I was most comfortable with.  When I had it set up just the way I wanted, I staggered back over to my barbell.  I had two sets of 45 pound plates that I was adding on once I stripped off the 15 pound plates that I needed for the first segment of the workout.  That got me to 225 pounds.  I also had two 10 pound plates in case I wanted to go for 245.  (I could have left the 15 pound plates on and tried to RX this workout at 275, but that seemed like overkill.)  Since I wasn't moving all that fast, I decided to go with the heavier weight for my deadlifts.  If I was way behind everyone already, why worry about spending a little extra time on the deadlifts?

Rather than waste energy trying to hold on to the barbell, I decided that I would just do singles for my deadlifts.  I would do three singles, then take a break.  I completed my fourth set and was relieved to finally get the chance to sit on my rower.  Except one of my classmates was using it.  Seriously?  Why?  Why couldn't she use the rower she had used in the warmup?  Or one of the extra rowers that were out?  So aggravating!  Now I had to jump on an empty rower and hope that I wasn't stealing someone else's.  I would also need to adjust the footholds and the damper on the new rower.  I was less than pleased as I began my first row.

For rounds two and three, I kept up the same pattern of doing four sets of three singles on the deadlift before returning to my rower.  When I was completing my final round of deadlifts, I was the only one working as everyone else in class was now done.  I got lots of encouragement when I headed to the rower the final time, but that was the easy part of the workout.  I blew through 15 calories using up all the energy I had left.  Final time: 24:24.

That performance was definitely not going on the Greatest Hits album.  Perhaps I could make up for it with some solid work at Open Strength.  After recovering from the WOD, I took another crack at trying to set a PR on my clean and jerk.  I made it through lifts at 135 pounds and 165 pounds without much of a problem, but as I rested before my lift at 195 pounds, it dawned on me that there was one other reason why I might be struggling at the gym this night.  Knowing that a long cardio workout was awaiting me, I decided not to eat a whole lot before class.  By 8pm, I was feeling weak and very hungry.  Guess I should have eaten more than I did.  I made my next lift at 195, but it felt a lot heavier than it should have.  I was not optimistic about my chances at 215 pounds.

It's possible that I jinxed myself by thinking that way.  I walked up to 215 pounds and made a pathetic attempt at a squat clean that went nowhere.  On my second attempt, I was able to slowly stand up with the clean, but then I had an awful jerk.  I told myself that I'd take one more shot at it.  Three strikes and I was out.  On the third attempt, there was a little less struggle with the squat clean.  I probably used some anger when going into the jerk, but it helped out as I finally got it overhead.  Needing 3 shots to get 215 didn't give me a lot of confidence that I would get 230, but that was the next step in my progression and I felt like I had earned the chance to give it a go.

None of my attempts at cleaning 230 were as bad as that first one at 215.  Then again, none of them were as good as my second and third attempts at 215.  After my first failure at 230, Michal came over to give me some advice.  She also asked me if I had eaten a lot today.  Thinking that she was giving me a lecture for gorging myself before coming to the gym, I enthusiastically told her that I had hardly eaten at all.  She explained how that was no good either.  (Why is eating so hard?)  She told me that the next time I came into lift, I should have some carbs in me (Crossfit blasphemy!).  After I spoke with Michal, I went over and talked with Kris.  She let me know that she had some "Scandanavian Swimmers" (Trader Joe's version of Swedish Fish) if I was interested.  That sounded like carbs to me, so I bummed three Swimmers off of her before making my next attempt.

The three attempts that followed were better than my initial one, but none of them resulted in a successful clean.  Michal seemed to have high hopes that I was going to get the lift because she was taping me on her phone each time I made an attempt.  After I was done, she told me that the best part of each attempt was the long walk I made as I approached the barbell.  She said she loved the attitude I had as I marched up to it.  I may not be on the KOP Dance team, but if the gym ever forms a KOP Catwalk team, I'll likely get a callback.  Michal and Kris had several laughs at the videos of me moodily walking up to my barbell, with Kris saying she was going to Boomerang the video.  (Note: I have no idea if the video was Boomerang-ed.  This might show my age or my lack of awareness with social media.  All I know is that it didn't pop up on Facebook.)

I put my barbell away feeling like I still hadn't done much useful for the evening, so I decided to cap my night off by practicing double unders with Kris and Actuary Mike.  I only did three sets, but they were solid ones.  The first set was 26 reps long, the second was 22 reps long, and I finished things off with a nice long set of 56 in a row.  That last set finally made me feel like I had done something right, so I put away my jump rope and headed home to fill my empty belly.

Tuesday preview: The rarely seen bench press workout is programmed, although it is paired with strict pull-ups because everyone should have tired arms while they bench press.

Growing Apart

Workout date: 4/12/17

When I got home on Wednesday night, I needed to listen to some music.  Perhaps some "Free Bird" would do the trick.  Or maybe a little "Separate Ways".  "Don't Speak" might get the job done.  I needed some tunes that would capture the sense of loss I was experiencing.  I had just been through a tough breakup.  When I first came to KOP, I was introduced to many girls, but I had trouble making a connection with any of them.  Then I met Nancy.  Nancy got me.  She knew that my idea of a fun Friday night involved overhead squats.  And even though she knew I wasn't the best runner, she encouraged me to get better (if only because I sucked at almost everything else in the gym).  It seemed like we were soulmates.  Those happy times feel so long ago...

Do you not remember Nancy?  Here's a description of my ex:

"Nancy"
5 rounds:
400 meter run
15 overhead squats (95/65)

I guess part of what drew me to Nancy was that she seemed to like me more than the other folks at the gym.  She made me feel special.  But the last few times I have made plans with her, she's treated me just like everyone else.  In fact, I've gotten the sense that she's grown closer to several others at the gym while the two of us have started growing apart.  The KOP blog wasn't helping matters.  Earlier in the day I had to read about how Ellie, Andrew, and Josh had great times with Nancy.  Things didn't get better in the afternoon as more and more people pointed out that they had better times with Nancy than I ever had.  The list went on and on: Giulz, Remer, JP, Laura A, Marissa.  It was becoming too much for me to handle.  If things didn't get better during our date at 7:30, we were probably done.

Coach Jenna had six of us in her class, including two people from deep in the heart of Texas.  Tommy and Mariana were passing through on their way to Boston and stopped by for the 7:30 class.  They were being joined by me, Maggie, Julie Foucher, and Ashley.  The warmup for Nancy was pretty basic.  We went out for a 400 meter run so that we could show Tommy and Mariana where the turnaround point was.  We were also supposed to learn something about our two guests during the run and report that back to Jenna, but I indulged in a new tradition that I've started.  Since the coaches know next to nothing about the people that drop in for classes, I realized that I could come back after the run and present an entirely made up fact about the new faces in our class.  After all, what's a better use of that two and a half minutes: pestering a stranger for personal information or coming up with a fascinating (yet fabricated) tidbit that sounds kinda true?

After we got back and I told my tall tale, we stretched out our shoulders and then practiced overhead squats with PVC pipes.  Next we got our barbells and began testing out what weights we would be using for the workout.  I wasn't concerned about how heavy the overhead squats would be.  All I was worried about was how long my legs would hold up during the 400 meter runs.  Typically I'd run well enough during the first two rounds of this workout.  It was the third round where my legs would tighten up and my rounds would start becoming much slower.  I was convinced that even if I could trim my slow rounds from three down to two, I would be able to beat my goal of 15 minutes on this workout.  So round three was going to be where I needed to push, even if I was hurting.

Jenna got the six of us lined up outside at the barrier and then yelled out a three-second countdown to get us underway.  I was surprised to find myself out in front on the first run.  I wasn't sure how fast Tommy or Mariana were, but I knew Maggie and Ashley were fast.  I thought I'd be pacing off of them.  Instead I was the rabbit.  Maggie was doing an amazing Jill Cardamone impression.  I could hear her right behind me as we made our way back to the gym.  My barbell was a little further away from the door than Maggie's, so I think she started the overhead squats before I did.  We both did 15 unbroken reps and headed out for round two.  This time Maggie was out in the lead.  First round time: about 2:35.

The area where we run for our workouts doesn't always feel like the safest place in the world, especially once it gets dark outside.  Behind Frosty Falls, there is a garage and on this evening, there seemed to be some sort of motorcycle rally going on.  Maggie wasn't feeling too comfortable with their presence, so she decided that from round two on, she was going to run to the 200 meter mark twice rather than venture back behind Frosty Falls to the 400 meter mark.  As she made an early turnaround, I kept running ahead.  Tommy was the next one behind me and I had about 40 meter lead on him.  Maggie had extended her lead on me.  (Perhaps she decided to stop running to the 400 meter mark because she knew after one round that she would be out on her own the rest of the way!)  When I came back in, I did 15 unbroken overhead squats again.  I was hoping to see something in the range of 5:15-5:20 on the clock, but instead I saw 5:30.  I've always thought that if I was going to beat 15 minutes on this workout, I'd need to finish the first three rounds in the 8:00-8:15 range.  Unless I put together a strong third run, that wasn't happening.

I headed out for my third run knowing that I needed to go hard, but as is usually the case in this WOD, my legs had begun to tighten up.  I tried to ignore it.  I focused on lengthening my stride.  I tried to lean forward on the downhill.  And I did my best not to let up on the return trip uphill.  My lead had increased to about 70 meters on Tommy, but Maggie was leaving me in the dust.  She headed out on her 4th run just as I came in from my third.  The third round of overhead squats was unpleasant, but I was determined not to put down my barbell.  15 reps later and I was headed out the door for my 4th run.  My initial reaction to completing round three was that I had done it faster than I had in previous attempts at Nancy.  The clock didn't agree.  Time after round three: about 8:50.  I needed to average about 3 minutes per round for the last two rounds, but there was no chance of that if it had taken me nearly 3:20 to finish round three.  Breaking 15 minutes was not happening tonight.

I knew my runs for rounds four and five were not all that fast, but I tried to keep a decent stride.  My lead on Tommy continued to be about 70 meters.  As I tried to push things on my final run, I began to catch up to Julie, who was on run #4.  She made the turnaround before me and warned me as we crossed paths that I better not lap her.  Meanwhile, in my head I was thinking "you better not NOT lap her".  I pumped my arms on the uphill portion of the run and went past Julie as I made my way in for the final set of overheads.

I hadn't put down the barbell in round 4 and there was no way I was putting down the barbell in round 5.  Each rep sent a brief sensation of pain into my legs, but it wasn't terrible.  It was simply mind over matter.  I finished off my 5th set of 15 and dropped my barbell, hoping to see a time close to the 15:35 that I had posted in mid-December.  That was more wishful thinking.  Final time: 16:09.

When I was done, I watched Tommy complete his workout.  I wasn't paying attention to his overhead squats during the earlier rounds, but the 15 that he did in round five were excellent.  His form never wavered and he moved through them quickly.  I started to root on Mariana when she returned to the gym, but then I saw Maggie take off out the door.  She was done long before the rest of us (her time was good enough to claim 3rd place on the gym leaderboard for the ladies), but now she looked like she was about to do another round.  I looked out the door and saw that she was out following Julie on her final round, concerned about her being out near the bikers by herself.  I hustled out the door and joined her.  We ran to the corner just past Frosty Falls so we could see her run to the 400 meter mark and when Julie got back to where we were positioned, the three of us jogged the last 150 meters or so together.  It was incredibly impressive watching Julie complete this workout.  Being 8 months pregnant didn't stop her from running a mile and a quarter and doing 75 overhead squats.

Slightly less impressive was my performance.  Even though I never dropped the barbell and despite thinking I had run a stronger third leg than I ever had, I was more than a minute away from my goal.  I had some back problems when I did this in January, but regardless, this was the second straight attempt where I hadn't come close to 15 minutes.  Everyone else's relationship with Nancy seemed to be getting better, while mine was only getting worse.  Perhaps it was my fault.  Maybe I was just using Nancy, thinking that she might one day get me on the gym leaderboard.  After Wednesday night, it was obvious that would never happen.  Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.  I'm sure Nancy and I will continue to be friends, but we probably won't be anything more than that.

Monday preview: After an unexpectedly long break from the gym over Easter weekend, I get my butt kicked on a cardio-intensive workout.  I also try to clean and jerk at Open Strength on an empty stomach.  That doesn't work out so well.

Bros Before Coach

Workout date: 4/11/17

I had planned to take Saturday off, but I was considering popping in for a Sunday workout before my parents arrived for a visit.  They showed up early.  No worries.  I could sneak over on Monday and get an early workout in.  As a bonus, I discovered on Sunday evening that it was a workout that I thought I might really like.  (Monday's WOD: 40 fairly heavy squat clean and jerks for time.)  Yeah, that didn't happen.  My parents were basically on their own schedule and I wasn't able to escape to get a WOD in.

That meant I didn't get back into the gym until the next session of Dudes After Dark.  The workout wasn't as appealing to me as the one that had been scheduled for Monday, but it wasn't one that scared me off either.  It was also an easy one for me in terms of goal-setting.  Here's what it looked like:

Tuesday's WOD:

AMRAP in 20 minutes

25 calorie row

25 chest-to-bar pull-ups

25 sumo deadlift high pulls (115/75)

25 shoulder-to-overhead (115/75)

The toughest aspect of this workout for me was going to be all of those chest-to-bar pull-ups.  This wasn't as ominous as being faced with 105 pull-ups (well, I guess it could have been if I somehow made it to round five of this WOD), but the chest-to-bar variety requires more energy, so I was likely to tire out more quickly on these.  That being said, I've gotten a little bit more comfortable with chest-to-bar pull-ups.  I used to believe that I needed to kip as hard as possible to get my chest to hit the bar.  Now I know that a medium kip will get me high enough to graze my chest against the bar.  Anything beyond that is simply wasted energy.  Figuring out the right way to do chest-to-bar pull-ups had as much to do with my strong score during Open workout 17.3 (the one out of five that I actually did well on) as practicing squat snatches did.  My approach to this workout would be similar.  I was going to try and do reasonable sets of chest-to-bar pull-ups and not go crazy on the kips.  If I was slamming my chest into the bar, I was doing the movement incorrectly.

The other aspect of this workout that I couldn't take lightly was the sumo deadlift high pulls.  When we do these as part of Fight Gone Bad, we use 75 pounds as the weight.  115 pounds was a considerable jump higher for a movement that can be awkward to do, especially as you get tired.  You tend to start getting unbalanced and clank the floor with one side of your barbell before the other side makes contact.  Once that begins, it can be difficult to get the barbell level again unless you come to a stop.  This wouldn't be my maiden voyage doing sumo deadlift high pulls with 115 pounds though.  The intermediate division at last year's Festivus Games had to do 115-pound sumo deadlift high pulls, so I had some idea of how hard these would be.

There was one last obstacle that I would have to overcome in this class: the heat.  It wasn't quite the sauna-like conditions that we have to deal with in the summer, but this was the warmest class of the year up to this point.  How warm was it?  I had sweated through my shirt before we even began the workout.  (Cline would later suggest that we start taking "before" and "after" photos of how sweaty I was now that the weather was getting nicer.)

LC would be coaching a somewhat rare all-dudes edition of Dudes After Dark.  There were 5 of us in attendance.  Joining me in class were Cline, Ryan A, Rob C, and Neil.  There are often times where I will look around in class and choose someone that I want to keep up with.  That was a really tough call for this workout.  It seemed like each person in class was likely to beat me in a couple of these movements, but I might be able to catch up to them on the other movements.  It felt like a workout where we might all be neck and neck the entire way.  So in terms of competing against my classmates, my goal was to not get beat by all of them.  Beating two of them would be nice.  I also had a goal of completing two full rounds (200 reps).  The best scores from earlier in the day indicated that people had finished three rounds of the row.  If I even got to turn on my monitor a third time, I'd be very happy.

The five of us got on our rowers and LC sent us on our 20-minute journey.  The row was going to be a spot where I'd probably lose a bit of time to the rest of the group.  Cline, Ryan, and Neil were definitely faster rowers than me.  I was about even with Rob.  None of us were slow on the rower though.  I was at 21 calories after a minute and shortly thereafter, I was headed to my pull-up bar.  I didn't think the chest-to-bar pull-ups would be where I shined, but after being one of the last ones to the pull-up bar, I was able to pull ahead of the group here.  I wasn't sure how many reps I would do in each set, so I based it off of how my first set felt.  I got through 4 reps before feeling like I needed a short break.  (Note: When I say I did a set of 4 reps, I mean 4 quick singles.  I am not even close to having the ability to string 4 consecutive chest-to-bar pull-ups.)  Six sets of 4 would get me to 24, so I needed to add an extra rep in along the way.  The most important part of doing well at the pull-up rig was that I was choosing a number of reps that I could recover from quickly.  In the heat of battle, I often don't realize how long my breaks between sets are.  In this workout, my breaks at the pull-up bar were legitimately short.  I did 5 reps during my fourth set to get me on track for 25.  When I finished my 6th set, it was on to the barbell.

If you had asked me prior to the workout where I thought I had an advantage on my classmates, it was with the barbell movements.  That might seem odd given that Ryan and Neil are bigger than me, that Rob is stronger than me on Olympic lifts, and that Cline has recently begun creeping ever closer to me with the weights he uses in workouts.  However, sumo deadlift high pulls are weird and I'm good at weird.  I thought I could get through those quicker than anyone else.  And even though I might not be as strong as most of my classmates, I am pretty solid at cycling a barbell, meaning the shoulder-to-overheads wouldn't be too big of an issue for me.

I may have bitten off a little more than I could chew when I began the sumo deadlift high pulls.  I had chosen the proper number of chest-to-bar pull-ups to keep my breaks short in between sets.  I did bigger sets on the sumo deadlift high pulls and ended up needing longer breaks.  I went 6-6-5-4-4 through my five sets and I was very happy to move on to the much easier shoulder-to-overheads.  Again, I probably got greedy with a barbell movement.  My breaks were longer here than when I was at the pull-up rig, but I only took two of them, going 10-9-6 to wrap up round one.  To my surprise, I was the first one back to my rower.

In order to complete two full rounds, I thought I would need to complete the first round in 8 minutes or less.  I expected to go considerably slower in the second round and having 12 minutes to play with would likely be enough for me to get through another circuit.  As I turned on my monitor on the rower, I looked up and saw that the clock was at about 8:20.  Not awful.  It was probably going to come down to how well I held up on the chest-to-bar pull-ups and the sumo deadlift high pulls.  I was about 5 calories into my row when several of my classmates came over and joined me.  I didn't expect to be in the lead at this point, but now that I had it, I didn't want to lose it.  I finished up 25 calories and was the first one back to the pull-up rig.

I was hoping that my second visit to the pull-up rig would go as smoothly as the first time had, but deep down I knew that would not be the case.  I did two sets of 4 reps to begin my crawl to 25 reps, but a longer break was definitely required after set #2.  Then I was only able to do 3 in a row before taking a break.  I did two sets like that, bringing me up to 14.  Even though I only had 11 reps left, it felt like there was a really long way to go.  On my next set, I did a decent chest-to-bar pull-up before feeling fatigued as I did my second one.  I kipped as hard as I could to ensure that I didn't miss hitting the bar with my chest.  It was overkill.  I rammed my chest really hard into the bar.  The longest break of the workout would follow.  Just 9 more chest-to-bar pull-ups to go, but I was winded, my arms were feeling weak, and I had no gauge of how hard I should kip to get my chest to graze the bar like I had done back in round one.

The longer break helped because I was able to get back to sets of three reps.  I didn't slam my chest into the bar at any point.  I wasn't sure if anyone had passed me at this stage (only Neil was working in front of me), but there wasn't much I could do if they had.  The only way these chest-to-bar pull-ups were getting done was if I recovered properly between sets.  Three sets of three later, I was done with pull-ups for the night.

Having not learned my lesson from round one of the sumo deadlift high pulls, I decided to try for another large set when I got to my barbell.  Those don't work out so well when your arms are tired.  I did three consecutive reps before only getting the right side of the barbell up to the proper height on the 4th try.  No rep!  That was a deflating moment in the workout.  I now had some serious doubt as to whether I could get through 22 more of these.  Time was also starting to become an issue.  If I couldn't find some renewed energy, I was going to fall short of completing two full rounds.  I was also likely going to be passed by the guys working behind me.  I decided that my best course of action was to try and do quick singles the rest of the way.  I began to slowly chip away at my remaining total.  As I got to the mid-point of the round, I had another no-rep as the left side of the barbell decided to hug the floor once again.  Frustrated, I glared at the left side of the barbell.  That's when I noticed that the plate was no longer tight with the barbell, despite having a clip to hold it on.  I took some time to get the plate back where it was supposed to be before retightening the clip.  From then on, I didn't have any issues with the left side of the barbell hanging lower than the right side.

Resorting to singles cost me my shot at completing two full rounds.  When I got done with the sumo deadlift high pulls, there was only about 30 seconds remaining.  I cleaned the barbell and did 6 quick reps before dropping it.  I needed oxygen, but I also knew I'd be getting rest soon enough.  I cleaned the barbell a second time and got 5 more reps in before time was called.  Final score: 186 reps.

It was a little disappointing not finishing off that second round, but this workout turned out to be quite a bit harder than I anticipated.  There's nothing I can point to and say "oh, I could have done that better".  Smaller sets with the barbell in round 1 might have saved me a smidge more energy, but I don't think it would have been enough to get me through the end of round 2.  My main takeaway from this WOD: you can fall short of your goal and still have a very good workout.  LC would tell me afterwards that I did a really good job of pacing this one and that is a comment I almost never hear.  I was able to finish ahead of everyone except Cline (who scaled, but he also had to run around and change plates, so he was much further ahead of me than it seemed).

There was a mini cash-out to finish off the evening.  The newest KOP toys are the two ski ergs that have been planted in the back of the gym near the bathrooms.  Think of them as assault bikes for your arms.  We were taking turns getting as many calories as we could in one minute.  I watched Rob take a turn and he managed 22 calories.  He looked awfully tired at the end of that minute.  That didn't bode well for me.  I went next, not having much of a clue as to what proper form on this machine would entail.  Pull down...circle your arms back up high again...repeat?  Oh yeah, also try to use your legs if possible.  LC set the monitor for me and I began my minute.  Apparently my form was very good at the beginning because I heard lots of excited yelling about how many calories I was generating.  Then I looked up.  I thought I might be about 35-40 seconds in, but the monitor gave me the sobering news that I had only been "skiing" for 23 seconds.  My form fell apart quickly over the last 37 seconds.  My arms were smoked.  I was able to at least match Rob with 22 calories, although 18 of them might have come in the first 23 seconds.

LC took down our scores at the whiteboard and then made sure we were checked in for class.  She called out Ryan for not signing up for the 7:30 class, but the rest of us had his back.  I explained to LC that at Dudes After Dark, the rule is "Bros Before Coach".  (That's not really the rule.  It's probably more like "Sass N' Jackass".)  She respected our solidarity and let Ryan off with a warning.  I'm sure Ryan will be signed in for future Dudes After Dark.  (Note: There's no penalty for not signing into class.  It just drives the coaches nuts.)

Wednesday preview: Have I fallen out of love with Nancy?  My favorite workout makes her second appearance of the year, but our relationship has become "complicated".